Network of Love

We Did It! We Graduated!

2010-05-16T23:08:00.005-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I am officially a candidate for the Bachelor of Arts from Loyola University of Chicago. And it sure feels good. This weekend was graduation weekend for College of the Arts and Sciences students. Many of my friends joined me in finishing their undergraduate careers at Loyola. Here is a post that tries to summarize our commencement ceremony:

***

The forecast for the Rogers Park neighborhood called for cloudy skies on Friday, May 13. But noonday sunshine proved local weatherpersons wrong during the College of Arts commencement ceremony at Loyola University Chicago. Some five thousand people gathered in the Gentile Center---mainly spectators sitting in the stands cheering on the students sitting on the basketball court slated to receive undergraduate degrees from Loyola.

Immediately following the singing of the Star Spangled Banner, a small bird (who must have snuck into the arena without showing his ticket at the door) soared above the heads of the students. It was very apropos on a day where students are metaphorically released from the years of tests and exams and paper writing.

The undergraduates, all from the College of Arts and Sciences but receiving candidacy for a Bachelor of Arts, came from a variety of cities, states and even countries. Michele Eken, a Cameroon native, was fortunate to be able to spend the graduation weekend with her parents who flew in for the ceremony. Her facebook message for fellow graduates read, "Congrats to all my fellow graduates no matter where you are and how you chose to celebrate!!!! we did it!!" Michele plans to attend the University of Chicago law school in the fall.

Lawrence Tyrone Williams, a political science major from California, offered the student address. In both delivery and appearance, Williams resembled a young confident Barack Obama. Several students sent text messages to friends asking if indeed Obama had been invited to speak. Students may very well be casting a vote for Williams in the future if he continues to polish his political savvy.

Dr. Kevin Bales, president and co-founder of Free the Slaves, the US sister organization of Anti-Slavery International, was conferred the honorary degree and addressed the crowd. In his speech, Bales discussed some of the startling statistics in regards to modern slavery. For instance, 27 million people are currently enslaved. However, Bales managed to provide the students with a sense that their generation could be the one that works to eradicate slavery for good.

Loyola University prides itself on providing students an education that opens young peoples eyes to injustice while also providing a place to brainstorm ways to bring about a more humane world. The institution seeks to offer students a "faith that does justice," regardless of the faith tradition in which the student comes from or subscribes to. The selection of Bales as speaker promoted Loyola's stated values. Over a dozen students took an opportunity to make a political statement with the top of their graduations caps. Over a dozen students wrote sayings such as, “Do I look Illegal?” on the top of their graduation caps in protest of Arizona’s recent controversial laws which seek to crackdown on the amount of illegal immigrants living in that state.

As students walked across the stage, their names announced, some members of the crowd could not help but vocally show support for the graduating loved one. A father screamed “that’s my daughter!” when his child's name was announced, drawing laughter from people in the arena.

Reverend Father Michael Garanzini concluded the ceremony with a traditional prayer for graduating students. As students were reminded several times during the graduation ceremony, now is their time to put their four year Jesuit education into action. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, the religious order who established Loyola University, described the mission of followers in this way: they are called to “go forth and set the world on fire.”

Amidst the anxiety of paying off student loans and sailing the uncertainty of an economy still struggling to reclaim itself among the world market, students might find some hope in Ignatius’ words of wisdom. Fortunately, the new graduates have almost five thousand spectators who are cheering them on along the way, and one soaring bird encouraging them to take flight.

***

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Walking Through the City/Feeling Free/An Ode to my Evoke Community

2010-05-12T23:49:00.005-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

This blog comes from a journal entry written several months ago. During the past year, I was fortunate enough to be a part of a group on campus at Loyola University Chicago called "Evoke Scholars." We were (are) a group of seven students who met once a week, generally sharing a meal together every Tuesday night. After the meal, we would share a bit of our lives with one another–––the group was part faith sharing, part story telling and complete moment making; each of us transformed each other through the vehicle of intentional community. Though the seven of us did not choose to make ourselves part of a club we became an Evoke family, a set of incredibly close allies. Through my connection with the seven members of my Evoke family, Daniel, Dave, Molly, Kylie, John and Laura, I am fortunate to know people who I consider lifelong friends.

As a token of my appreciation to them, I want to share some stories from Evoke. This first blog post comes from the journal we passed around as a community activity. Over the course of several weeks, one Evoke scholar was responsible for maintaining the pages of our Evoke journal. I had the journal in early March; the following excerpt comes from a subway ride through the city on a particularly mild March afternoon, from what I recall. It is a reflection on the earlier walk I took through the city, and the way in which the energy from the walk seemed to me to resemble a type of prayer.

March 12, 2010: Evoke Scholars Journal:

I wanted to write briefly about the continued inner peace I find just walking through the city and being with the flow of Chicago. I feel super free strolling down the streets of Chicago with (or without) my I-pod buds in my ears. For me, moments of walking the streets elicit images of mantra type prayer---but instead of sliding your fingers from one bead to another, or repeating a phrase in honor of a Higher Power, the walker finds spiritual moments in movement. In motion, I feel a sense of exodus and liberation. Prayer can involve movement. The spiritual exercises need not be passive, sedentary activities. Movement of any sort can be Spirit-filled. Ecstatic, exuberant, blissful---Spirit-filled movement is a forward-thinking prayer that invites the mover to move on and ahead. A dot in the city, so let it be. I love feeling free---like a swinging someone, lost and found in a willow tree.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Mother's Day Miracle in Baseball World

2010-05-10T09:01:00.008-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I wanted to share with you this morning a story about perfection. While as humans we might never reach perfection in every facet of our lives, Oakland Athletics pitcher Dallas Braden reached perfection during the course of a baseball game he will never forget. I hope you enjoy this story and the relevancy it carries on Mother's Day Weekend. Braden, having lost his mother while he was in high school, pointed to the sky at the end of the game, thanking her, in a sense, for the gift of life. And Braden said the holiday, one that has not been easy for him since his mother died, is made a lot better with the perfect game and with his grandmother in the stands cheering him on.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Oakland's Braden is perfect against Rays

By JANIE McCAULEY, AP Baseball Writer Janie Mccauley, Ap Baseball Writer – Mon May 10, 12:50 am ET

OAKLAND, Calif. – Dallas Braden definitely owns the mound now.

Braden pitched the 19th perfect game in major league history on Sunday, shutting down the majors' hottest team and leading the Oakland Athletics to a 4-0 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays.

Braden threw his arms in the air after Gabe Kapler grounded out to shortstop for the final out, his simmering feud with Yankees star Alex Rodriguez merely a footnote to the first perfect game for Oakland in 42 years.

The closest the Rays got to a hit was Jason Bartlett's liner to third leading off the game. Evan Longoria tried to bunt leading off the fifth, drawing boos from the small crowd.

"Pretty cool," Braden said. "I don't know what to think about it just yet. There's definitely a select group. I'd like to have a career more than today."

Before this gem, Braden was best known for his enraged reaction to Rodriguez walking across the mound on April 22. Still angry after the game, he told the slugger "to go do laps in the bullpen" if he wanted to traipse across a mound.

The squabble was still simmering last week. On Friday in Boston, Rodriguez said he didn't want to extend Braden's "extra 15 minutes of fame."

A-Rod struck a far more conciliatory tone Sunday.

"I've learned in my career that it's always better to be remembered for some of the good things you do on the field, and good for him," Rodriguez said before facing Boston. "He threw a perfect game. And, even better, he beat the Rays."

That said, Braden's grandmother may have gotten the last word:

"Let's forget it, uh huh — and stick it, A-Rod," said a chuckling Peggy Lindsey, who was in the stands watching.

After the Yankees' 9-3 loss at Boston, Rodriguez was told a comment — presumably referring to Lindsey's remark — was made following Braden's perfect game.

"Uncle. No more guys," Rodriguez said.

Asked about it later in a different way, he said: "Uncle. Uncle." And then, Rodriguez walked away.

This was the majors' first perfect game since Mark Buehrle did it for the White Sox against the Rays on July 23, and the second no-hitter this season after Colorado's Ubaldo Jimenez accomplished it in Atlanta on April 17.

"I'm a bad omen. That's the third perfect game and fourth no-hitter I've been on the wrong side of," Rays manager Joe Maddon said. "When Kenny Rogers threw his I was the bullpen coach. If you want to see another one, just follow me around."

Braden pitched the A's first perfect game since Hall of Famer Jim "Catfish" Hunter's gem on May 8, 1968, against the Minnesota Twins. Only 6,298 were there to witness it. Sunday's crowd at the Coliseum wasn't much better: 12,228.

Braden (4-2) wasn't fazed by anything, locating his fastball in every spot, throwing two-strike changeups and getting quick outs against a Rays team that lost on the road for just the third time this year. He struck out six in the improbable 109-pitch performance, throwing 77 strikes in his 53rd career start and first complete game.

Braden's teammates mobbed him when the Mother's Day masterpiece was over, leaving bats and gloves scattered on the field. The left-hander pointed to the sky in honor of his single mom, Jodie Atwood, who died of skin cancer when he was a high school senior. He shared a long and tearful hug with Lindsey, who helped raise him, in front of the dugout.

"It hasn't been a joyous day for me in a while," Braden said. "With my grandma in the stands, it makes it a lot better."

Braden's perfect game was the sixth no-hitter in Oakland history. The 26-year-old Braden, a native of nearby Stockton, was a 24th-round draft pick by the A's in 2004. He improved his career record to 18-23.

"Little League, I got a couple of them under my belt," Braden said. "In the bullpen, I'm damn near perfect every day."

His grandmother gets the game ball, the Stockton Hall of Fame everything else (Click here to finish story).

Happy Mother's Day Weekend to Everyone!

2010-05-08T10:30:00.001-05:00

A Mother’s Day Prayer

by Maureen McCann Waldron

Creighton Online Ministries website has many prayers by and for mothers. Click here. Here is a Mother’s Day prayer:

I [we] thank you, Creator of us all, for my [our] mother[s].

I thank you that she gave me life and nurtured me all those years. She gave me my faith, helping me to know you and to know Jesus and his ways. She taught me how to love and how to sacrifice for others. She taught me that it was okay to cry and that I should always tell the truth.

Bless her with the graces she needs and which you want to give her today. Help her to feel precious in your eyes today and to know that I love her. Give her strength and courage, compassion and peace.

Bless her this day with your love.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

New Posting after half a year

2010-05-07T10:57:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of love lovers!

I thought I would post because, well, it has been months since I last blogged! Things have changed in my personal life since I last signed on blogspot. I just finished my last term paper as an undergraduate student yesterday! Horray and on to freedom from academics for a little over a month---and then I begin graduate studies at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism. There, I will work toward my masters of science in journalism. It will be one year of intense studies and rushing around in a city I love and cherish. Further, I will be following my passions, polishing my writing skills and learning from some of the best journalist in the area. I am looking forward, believe it or not, to have professors absolutely tear my writing apart---I need professionals to really edit my material and humble me to the point that I realize writing is as much of a discipline as it is an art. And yet, I am at peace with taking this journey. I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead in the coming months and hopeful despite the challenges I will inevitably face.

My change from seminary studies to journalism is not as shocking as one might imagine. I see both professions (ministry and journalism) as being related insofar as members of each, when lived authentically, try to find truths embedded deep in reality and provide people with a glimmer of hope at its core. My spiritual director in seminary always told me that the best preacher holds a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other---well, perhaps I will someday provide a preacher with content to draw her sermon from! I want to continue to blog either here or elsewhere as I continue this journey toward the life of a journalist.

Today, I offer a heartwarming story about Toby Williams, a 30 year old Chicago man who lives in the southside Englewood neighborhood and who recently graduated with his masters from Northeastern University. Toby has cerebral palsy---the article from the Sun Times describes the obstacles Williams has overcome in his pursuit for a higher education. Toby has succeeded---and his story made the front page of the Chicago Sun Times yesterday! Congratulations to Toby; I wish him the best in his future endeavors. He is an example of hope for our city and hope for our world.

Follow link below to read how Toby Williams mastered at Northeastern University:

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/2241844,CST-NWS-toby06.article

peace and wishing you all good things,

your friend bob : )

Part Two: Compassionate God

2009-10-30T09:20:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Today is Friday...thank God its Friday (but there is a whole lot of rain here in the Windy City...a heap of rain has reigned downed on us). Enjoy your weekend all and I look forward to talking with you soon!

Here is the conclusion of Compassionate God, a posting I started in my previous blog (if you haven't checked out this blog in a while, I suggest you read the previous posting before starting this posting).

I’d like to consider God being revealed through my dead mother. This woman who gave birth to me is by all accounts physically dead. What does she physically have left to give? What compassion exists in her if her life ceases to exist? Something happens when I return home from the hospital. I am still angry, frustrated, guilty and above all feeling a complete sense of loss for having missed the opportunity to say goodbye to my mother. Before going to bed alone (my wife has moved out), I happen to notice a card on my desk. It is not as if the card was not there before, but it just so happens to catch my attention tonight. The outside of the card is a picture of a dove carrying an olive branch–––the inside is a message from my mother. It is a Christmas card she had given me last year. Even though I am middle-aged with children of my own, she writes the same conclusion in all my cards: “you will always be my child–––my baby forever. Love, Mom.” It always seemed like a sappy ending until now–––at this moment that somewhat cliché “I love you” message mysteriously triggers a reconciliation that becomes multiple reconciliations that begin to refocus my life. The written words of my mother seem to say from far away that she is still near and that she loves me–––for who I am and for who I fail to be. This woman, who gave birth to me–––who is dead¬¬¬¬–––seems to live.
Through rereading my mother’s card at a most crucial time, I recognize God. For what other way might I describe why I looked at that card the night my mother passed away? Though my mother’s heart stopped beating, her heart lives on in her memory and in her words. Can this phenomenological experience sustain me (does it provide me with ample faith)? It does seem to point to an even deeper truth–––it reveals a God who is fully compassionate. I conclude that the night my eye happened upon the card was a phenomenological experience: a revelation from a God who works subtly and is elusive while nevertheless pursuing me. God did not want me to feel angry or guilty or sad because I could not say goodbye to my mother. God seems to say, “I recognize your pain and I feel it along with you.” The moment I read the card triggers reconciliation with the life of my mother that begins a transformation in me. I realize selfishness and my ego was holding me back from the relationships I most cherished. The seeds of change are planted through a revelation that neither shocks nor awes but deeply mystifies.
In conclusion, I have painted a portrait of God that is not a theological proof for the existence of God or justification through scripture or tradition. The God I reveal in my story does not appear in wind or fire, but rather in the silence of a most lonely night. The God revealed suffers with me as I mourn the loss of my mother and wipes the tears from my eyes while crying along with me. I need not wipe the tears from God’s eyes because God is fully giving to me–––the tears God cries reveal the full compassion of God. The revelations of God’s fulfilling love come in ways that I don’t always see through my fragmented, sometimes suffering existence. However, when I reach outside of myself, I can collect the images and experiences that will serve as a foundation for beginning to sketch a picture of God. But alas, the sketch will remain incomplete.
Scattered though it may remain, the revelation of a fully compassionate God is one that calls for a transformation of heart and mind. William Reiser, S.J., in my opinion, puts the matter quite well. He discusses the crucifix (the sustaining tree of life of the Christian tradition) as a haunting, yet sacred image. A crucifix “draws attention to a haunting solidarity with the suffering humanity of [Jesus’] time and place that Jesus had demonstrated both in his living and in his dying.” In considering the death of Jesus–––what his death means if we put stake in the words and actions of his life–––we come to see an image of an unselfish person who gives of himself for the sake of others. Does he give fully? That is a question of faith that I simply can’t tackle in the context of this paper. But I would say that if we believe that God really could enter into life fully as a human person and then die fully as a human person, we could conclude that that God is fully self-giving. If we accept the idea that God might indeed have chosen to be revealed through the suffering of Jesus of Nazareth, then who is to say that God would not enter into our own sufferings in a most intimate and compassionate manner? This revelation would be a self-giving sacrifice from the Creator that would redeem our personal sufferings. If one believes in the resurrection of Jesus, one sees the plan of a person carried out in fullness. From life to death to resurrection of body, the Christian tradition believes in a person that becomes someone who conquers death.
Consider once again the narrative I used as an allegory throughout this paper: my mother who died is fully alive and recreated in a redemptive act that remains to be seen by me but exists within the confines of a mysterious God who does not hide behind a transcendent, Kantian kind of wall (nor high in the sky like my five year old brain conceived of it), but who actually exists in our midst as an elusive, yet fully compassionate God.

***

Thanks for reading my blog! Let me know if you have any questions or comments about what I posted; I'd be happy to share further.

peace and blessings!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Part One: Compassionate God

2009-10-26T21:34:00.001-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I want to post a paper I wrote for my Philosophy of Religion class. It has to do with the idea of God as all-compassionate...feel free to comment on it.

Part One:

When I was five years old, I vaguely recall drawing a crayon picture in my kindergarten class of a God who sat high in the sky at a computer desk. This Zeus-like man sported a flowing white beard and programmed the life of people on earth through his masterly computer programming skills. Obviously, the drawing was an innocent sketch of something or someone–––God–––that remains as much a mystery to me now as that moment I drew my old friend on the computer. I guess the difference between the me that thinks about God now verse the me that thought about God in kindergarten, is that the me now has more ideas and life experiences to draw from when trying to construct an image of God. But I concede that I am still much like the little boy with crayon in hand.
Nevertheless, I now, ironically enough, will consider God through a paper typed on a computer. The God I plan to discuss is not one who sits high in the sky at a computer desk (that would make God some kind of control freak computer geek–––not to offend anyone with computer expertise!). Rather, the God I will discuss is one who is fully compassionate, unselfish, and completely lacking in moral defect. God is not playing any games with anyone or entering codes or cheats to challenge or control. Instead, this God has to find a way to creatively enter into the humanity God created and make a revelation that is potent enough to touch the human heart enough that the human experiencing this God understands and seeks to turn away from her or his own selfish fears and desires. The mysterious interaction between the divine and the human would have to convince the human both in the existence of the divine and in the incredible call to the human to enter into the mystery of the divine, thereby forever intertwining the created with the Creator. What type of evidence might a fully compassionate God give to humans in order interact with them? How might God become present to humanity?
Faith traditions from around the world seek answers to such questions, relying on prophets, tradition, scripture, and phenomenological experiences, among other categories, to form belief systems. However, if I may be so bold, I want to attempt to step outside the doctrine and beliefs of major monotheistic traditions and seek to answer the question of how the God I have described might interact with humans like us from an existential standpoint. Leaving aside my Christian identity, I turn to an allegory to consider a modern Godly revelation.
Say that today I would like to go shopping for a birthday card for my mother only to find out, after walking to the local drug store, that the store is closed for the day, I would feel as if my set task was not fulfilled. Maybe I could shrug that off (with an example like that it wouldn’t be hard to do) and reason that I can walk to the store and get the card another day. But what if I take this to an extreme situation: my mother is on her deathbed and that card symbolizes a last chance to say I love you to a woman that gave birth to me. I run to the store only to realize that it is closed for the day. Dejected, I drive to the hospital to visit with my mother. I get to the hospital only to hear the terrible news from the doctor that my mother has passed away. In this instance, I feel a lack of fulfillment that comes from not only not having a card to present to my mother, but also a feeling of regret at having not been able to at least personally say goodbye. Tears maybe even swell my eyes as I realize that my mother is no longer alive. My desire to say goodbye to my mother, to tell her I love her, has not been fulfilled.
Following the doctor’s announcement that my mother has passed away, I cry out “why!” I am feeling as if I have somehow been betrayed by someone–––though I don’t know who. No one answers. I feel forsaken, shook and angry. My lack of fullness is becoming apparent to the nurse and doctor who are with me. They understand my struggle because they have had similar experiences of loss, and yet anything they say won’t make my pain go away. The pain feels lodged inside of me, as real as the blood that flows through my veins and keeps me from death. In this moment, I am seeking an answer to the question of why my mother had to die before I had the opportunity to tell her I love her. Just to make the situation even more difficult, let’s say that before she died, I had told her something very difficult–––that my wife and I were going to get a divorce. This is something my mother cried about–––I felt terrible telling her on her deathbed. Nevertheless, I felt like I had to tell her, to get it off my chest so to speak. The card I wanted to give her was something more than just a birthday card then; it was an apology and a sign that I sought forgiveness from and reconciliation with her. I was part fearful that if I didn’t apologize it would sting me more and continue to hurt her even as she struggled with the pains she was experiencing while slowly losing her battle with cancer. Giving the card to my mother was more than a way to say sorry; it was also a hidden way to restore some of the pride I had lost after telling her about the breakup with my wife.
To interrupt, it is now evident that the “I” in the narrative is not fulfilled, not fully compassionate and not without moral defect. He struggles with fear, pride and guilt among potentially other things. Moreover, his lack of confidence in relationships and his struggle to find peace in them seems to suggest a further lack of fulfillment. Establishing this, I want to now interject (abruptly) with a revelation from God. It seems to me that God would have three general ways to be revealed: (1) through a place, (2) through a thing, or (3) through a person. Let’s consider God appearing first in the form of a place in our narrative. To speak metaphorically, we might consider the place that a compassionate God appears in the told narrative is the drug store where I intend to buy the card to give to my dying mother. The place seems to represent an attempt of my wanting to reconcile a broken feature of the relationship with my mother. But the place is closed.
Second, let’s consider God appearing through a thing–––the card in itself. God might speak through the compassion, the words of kindness and love to the person who gave birth to me. But the card is never bought and God therefore does not appear in this thing in the case of my narrative.
Lastly, let’s consider God appearing through a person in the narrative. Does God appear through me? Is God revealed in my attempt to reconcile my relationship with my mother? Partly, I would argue, but not fully. For instance, I show signs that I wish to be closer to a God who is fully compassionate and unselfish and to be trusted, insofar as I want my mother to understand my love for her. I express this desire through my desire to give a birthday card. Still, as I have said earlier, the giving of the card is not completely unselfish–––there is an underlying pride because I want to receive–––and implicitly expect–––some kind of forgiveness and acceptance in return for the work I put into buying and giving the card to my mother. A fully unselfish and completely self-giving person would not want anything in return for the gift. Further, I am not giving of myself in giving the card–––I am giving a symbol of how I feel or who I am, but I am not physically giving myself. Would God have to be revealed through a full act of physical giving?

I'll post the second half in my next blog posting. Take care and God's blessings.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

2009-10-14T09:10:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It has been forever in my opinion since I last posted on this blog. Part of me really misses my weekly (at the peak of the blog almost daily!) postings here on the network. I regret that my time is crunched this semester to the point that I barely have time for the things I am most passionate about (i.e. writing posts here on the Network of Love). But today is a new day! I do have a morsel of free time, a space on my hard drive not yet filled, if you will.

Here is a poem I wrote about a week ago as the season slowly changed, seemingly in front of my eyes, as I watched the waves beast their way toward my window (Loyola University has a new building, the Information Commons, that has two story windows with a spectacular view of Lake Michigan. Right now, I am glancing through the windows and feeling an incredible peace.)

***

Throw my fish net out into the Horizon:

Today is a day that I wish I could spend the whole day staring nakedly into the infinite horizon of Lake Michigan
To cast my worries in a net in the sea---to watch the Captain capture them with his bare wet hands and sink them forever.

Today is a day I'd rather be away; but I guess where I am is really where I am called to presently be.
At times of learning, yearning, discerning---there is always an unspeakable presence breathing life within me.

Even when death strikes, when the hellish hounds haunt my night, when terror becomes stronger than sight.
There is an oracle, an interpreter, a guide dog trained to show me the way
To give order to my steps in the fragments and brokenness of my discard-able day.
And when my thought is "come what may"---

I wake and rise fulfilled, sitting silent, soothing waters, on the dock of Otis' bay.

peace and blessings to all my friends.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Prayers for a Friend Far From Home

2009-10-01T07:48:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I have not posted in a long time. I apologize for anyone who happens upon the site looking for new content. It is just that...well busy has been the name of the game for me this semester. But I will do my best to update the Network, if at the very least it is an instrument for me to extend my prayer and spirituality with others who are willing to share in it with me.

I would ask any and all who stumble upon the site to prayer for Oswaldo da Silva and my friend Raphael. Oswaldo was Rapha's Grandpa and he was buried this morning. Raphael, being here in Chicago, his family in Brazil, could obviously not be at the funeral and burial. So I pray that Oswaldo, or "Cuca" as he was better known to the family, can smile down on Raphael today, as he mourns the loss of a person who was so deeply close to him his whole life.

~

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob.

Health Care in Central City

2009-09-03T08:46:00.004-05:00

Greetings friends!

It has been a few weeks since I last posted. School, studying and hanging out with friends have kept me happily busy.

I thought I would post a link to a NY Times video a friend shared with me this morning. It discusses a health clinic in my home city, Milwaukee, that may be in jeopardy even if the health care system reforms pass. It is something worth viewing---and on a deeper level, it might be worth reflecting how health care reform can best serve families everywhere...especially families who desperately need clinics like the one featured in this video. Have a look:

http://video.nytimes.com/video/playlist/us/1194811622217/index.html#1247464339526

peace and blessings friends...and let me know if you have any comments regarding the video clip.

with love,

your friend bob : )

God, Show me the Way!

2009-08-17T21:45:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I am back at school in Chicago, beginning my senior year of college seminary and undergraduate studies at St. Joe's on the campus of Loyola University. Things are going well. I'm moved in and waiting for classes to start.

My trip to England...wow, wow, wow. Did I have a wonderful time! I am very thankful to the people who helped make it happen. I appreciate the hospitality of those who hosted me, and the generosity of people from my home parish in West Allis who donated money toward my efforts to be a pilgrim to Lourdes, France. The five weeks in England and France were a time I will not soon forget. I cherish the memories.

Reflection:

I've been thinking a bit about what an older gentleman whispered to me one night while a group of us were in Lourdes praying by the grotto. This is a place where people who come to Lourdes on pilgrimage gather to offer prayers to God and petitions, opening their hearts and minds to a God they believe hears their prayers.

I was simply sitting, sifting through my own petitions in my head, not really thinking much. Just trying to sort of be in the moment, in the presence of God in this spiritual place.

Anyways, this gentleman from our group, Peter, comes up to me and breaks the silence. He says quietly and in his clever sounding English accent, "Bob, God won't tell you what to do, God will SHOW you what to do." The statement clicked with me for some reason. It made sense and was something I feel that I absolutely needed to hear in that time standing in that place.

I think in my own life, walking the journey I am walking, I wait for God to be the Army General who will order my next move. Maybe this is a remnant of the early childhood concept of God I (and many other children) have---a Zeus-like figure sitting on a royal chair in the clouds with a thunderbolt waiting to shock His minions if they step out of line. Whatever the case, I often feel that God is watching what I am doing and judging me; that there is something I really ought to be doing that God is just waiting for me to do. And so what follows is sometimes me waiting for God to say something, metaphorically speaking.

But waiting for a sign from God can be like waiting for a sunny day in Liverpool England. It may come every now and again (no offense to my wonderful friends from the Liverpool area), but don't bank on it. Having said that, please do not discredit the awesome ways that God can and does work in our lives.

God, we believe, speaks through other people. God speaks through our closest friends and family. God speaks through people we are in relationships with. God speaks through co-workers. God speaks through our bosses. God also speaks through strangers.

We can't put a limit on God's power to speak to us through people. If we ever put a limit on God, we would really be creating a god, a false idol. To consider God as Creator, as a God that breathes with us, as Spirit, we turn to a concept of God that is not a dominating, towering figure high in the sky. Even though God is greater than the sky, God captivates and moves us in the silence of our hearts; in the simplest rustling of leaves on an Autumn afternoon.

What I am trying to say, in a roundabout way, is the same thing Peter whispered to me on that night at the grotto. God won't tell us what to do...God will show us what to do.

For our part, we have to play an active role. God is willing to show us. And we have to want God to show us. To simply play the part of a lover of God is not going to be sufficient. Rather, we have to truly want God to show us the way. If we show God love then we can't help but believe that that God who IS love will show us a love in return. This kind of Love will help us to move mountains and solve seemingly insurmountable dilemmas. I turn to my Christian faith, to Jesus of Nazareth, a person who I actually believe was God in human form, to root myself in the idea that Love knows no boundaries and is limitless.

But this whole loving God thing, it isn't easy. For any of us. And that is why we have people, places, scripture, churches, leaders, ministers---co-workers in the vineyard, so to speak---to help us ferment the wine that our God has shown us how to make.

God, show me the way, for I am often a lost sheep in search of you, my loving Pastor. I have faith that when you find me, you will breath a Love into my heart that knows no boundaries and that Love me, regardless of my flaws.

peace and blessings and wishing you all a wonderful week,

your friend bob : )

Following Lourdes Pilgrimage

2009-08-04T10:31:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I just got back from a one week pilgrimage to Lourdes, France, where I spent my time with a group of fellow university students caring for elderly and sick that had also went on the trip. We went with the Shrewsbury Diocese of England and it was an absolutely incredible experience!

In my journal yesterday, I wrote a few words to describe how I felt immediately upon returning from a very moving, spiritual week.

I'm sad because I am no longer physically in Lourdes, on a diocesan pilgrimage. But I am hopeful for a future filled with pilgrimage---a life that is one, long journey. I am hopeful in embarking on a particular human experience that we can call our lifelong journey into the heart of God.

Like Bishop Brian (Shrewsbury bishop) said during the homily on our final day of pilgrimage, the pilgrimage does not end when we return home. It is actually then and only then that we can and should ultimately produce the fruits we planted and laboured for in while in Lourdes.

There is an antiphon (beginning of a prayer) that reads like this:
"When will I come to the end of my pilgrimage and enter the presence of God?" (Ironically, this was the antiphon I read during the first morning prayer I said after returning from Lourdes).

A possible answer to the question posed in the prayer: The pilgrimage here on earth doesn't end until death. And even then, we believe that an Eternal Banquet awaits all people on our journey in this place.

peace and blessings to all!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Pictures from the two Liverpool Cathedrals

2009-07-30T04:07:00.002-05:00

Alive and Well

2009-07-23T05:19:00.001-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I only have 6 minutes and 20 seconds to type this blog. The time is running out on the internet hour I purchased at the local library! Yikes...hurry, hurry, hurry.

Trouble is I am using so many words to tell you that I have little to no time to make a posting. That's the irony of this post. I have spent just about all of the time telling you how I have hardly any time to post.

Since blogging last, things have been much, much better.

I visited the childhood homes of John Lennon and Paul McCartney yesterday!!! For a HUGE Beatles fan, this mean a whole lot to me.

The day before, I visited Manchester, a city about an hour from Liverpool by train. Gorgeous. Plenty of pictures to come hopefully! (I took like a hundred or more when I was there).

The day before that, I took an open-top bus tour of Liverpool. Also saw several Rembrandt pictures in the Walker Art Gallery in the city.

Before that, I went up to a tall radio tower called 96.7. One of the morning hosts actually invited me up there for a free tour! It was amazing. The chance of meeting him was so incredible...I met him in the gym that I have a temporary two week membership at. So I was able to get more musical fixes while in Liverpool, aside from my Beatle bonding moments.

I hope all is well with all of you.

peace, prayers and blessings~

with love,

your friend bob : )

JUST FINISHED --- 45 seconds left before the internet shuts off on me!!!

Financial Crisis

2009-07-17T14:53:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

The last day or so has been damnright frustrating!
I struggled and struggled and struggled to find a cash machine that would allow me to withdrawal money. Thus, I have had little walking around money to speak of the last few days.

However, that is not the most frustrating part of this financial crisis. I was intending on withdrawing money to pay my host Sheila who has been wonderful enough to arrange for me to stay and live with her for several weeks, alongside two high school foreign exchange students from Spain and France, Sergio and Theo.

For the last few days, the money that should be in the hands of Sheila (most of it donated by people from my church at home who were kind enough to donate money to my pilgrimage to Lourdes, France) has been caught in the web of worldwide proportions. That is to say, the money is there in theory but not in practice. I have the funds in the account–––but I can’t access them. And after phoning my bank twice, they have concluded that there is nothing wrong with my account. Still, there is nothing they can do to help me. Chase is terribly sorry for this inconvenience they told me. Is it me or them that is the problem?

It has been frustrating and embarrassing. I feel like that person who keeps saying “oh right, I’ll pay you right away…real soon,” but who never seems to cough up the cash.

But…tomorrow is another day. Thank God for Western Unions! The money is being wired to me to a Western Union from my trustful father because that is the only way I can get money at the time (aside from using a credit card…but that gets expensive…Western Union is expensive too!). I can pick it up tomorrow mid-morning and be on my way, hopefully.

All’s well that ends well (I’ve been reading a Shakespeare biography lately…wonderful book by a historian and comedic fellow from Britain named Bill Bryson)…and I pray that this really does END well.

It’s funny…amidst this personal financial crisis I’ve really been having quite a wonderful time. Aside from today, Liverpool has been a very rewarding and refreshing experience. And I hope that after tomorrow, I can live it with fresh eyes and a feeling that I am stable financially.

While I was reading an evening prayer tonight, I chuckled to myself at the content of the particular passage (from James, chapter 1, verses 2 – 8). The author writes: “Count it pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance.” Haha…talk about faith being tested and going through a trial. I thought I was going mad not being able to withdrawal money. I thought maybe I had changed the pin on myself and done away with the password or something. But, I might as well just sit back and have a good old laugh about all of this. For what will the worrying do me? It will only make my trip less than it can be.

This trial has to give me endurance…it is just a little trial. As the saying goes, there is so much bigger fish to fry (and the fish and chips have been marvelous thus far here in England!).
There are people who don’t have anything to eat, who have been kicked out of their home. Take, for instance, the gentlemen who stopped me yesterday as I was sitting down to eat a packed lunch Sheila had made me. The man says to me he has been kicked out of his house by his girlfriend, hasn’t eaten for days, is going through some major financial struggles, etc. The lot has been cast on him and he is sinking in the Mersey River. He is looking for mercy. Whether his story was true or fabricated, I cared not. I gave him my lunch, he told me to keep the apple, and I walked a ways to the nearest pub to have myself a tuna and a pint. I pray that that man’s safe and sound somewhere tonight. It’s been raining like mad the whole day!

Sometimes, our own struggles become something so severe that they shut our eyes from some of the most spirit sucking struggles people go through on a daily basis. When we swallow our self-pill, keeping our self in check, looking out for what we need to when we need to, and then using our excess energy and God-given grace to be there for others, we are doing what Christ did; we our acting as a charitable member of the human race. When we run that extra mile, push ourselves a little further, we are living saintly, outside of ourselves, a disciple who cares more for his sister than himself.

Sheila, thus far, has been a kind of saint figure. I’ll be honest. The way she cares for the three of us living under her roof–––like a parent, a mother cares for her own children–––is incredible. It is breathtaking to see the energy she exerts on our behalf. She is showing me what it is like to be a saint. She is what I imagine early deaconesses in the church to be like–––people, women who provide others with Christian hospitality. Sheila is a living saint in my life right now, one that I am very thankful for.

The money issue, the financial crisis I am in? Well…I must remember the story of Jesus’ apostles worrying they won’t have what they need for the journey. What does Christ tell them? It will all be okay. Things will work out fine. One of Sheila’s favorite words is “okay.” She says it in this absolutely fabulous Liverpool accent. “Okay!”

Well God, make things okay today. Make things okay tomorrow. Make things okay for life. Maybe you need an okay from God today. If you do need such a thing, just ask. In faith, God will provide your okay!

Peace and blessings,

With love your friend bob : )

Domestic Church in Liverpool

2009-07-17T14:51:00.002-05:00

An experience of domestic church I won’t forget:

My first night in Liverpool, staying with my lovely friend Sheila and two foreign exchange students she is hosting for the next few weeks, I experienced domestic church. It was that feeling of worshipping God where only two or three (well, in our case four) are gathered.

Before devouring steak, fries, onion rings and green peas (and roley poley jam filled caked for desert), we came together to say an evening prayer. Borrowing from the Christian prayer book, I invited Sergio, the student from Spain, to read the Psalms. I figured it could be a way for him to practice speaking and reading some English. Also, I had found out that both he and Theo, the young man from France staying with us, were Catholic Christians. Alongside Sheila, the Catholic woman who has helped organize my coming on a pilgrimage with the Diocese of Shrewsbury to Lourdes, France, we all prayed in her house the universal common prayers that people all over the world say in the church. The psalms we prayed were the same psalms that Jesus and his apostles and disciples would pray at night after having spent the day in ministry preaching and teaching. (Granted he wasn’t speaking in English---not even the Queen’s English). Nevertheless, the fact that all of us were coming together in a common prayer style, in communion, before eating a meal together, made me reflect on a most basic paradox of what it means to be a person: while we are all unique and have our own sense of culture and self, we are all one in the sense that we all need food to survive, we all cherish hospitality and crave community and friendship and love.

I think what made me most happy about the meal wasn’t the steak doused in Worchester Sauce, or the French (English) fries dipped liberally in Daddie’s brand ketchup. I think what I loved the most about the meal was how it symbolized an essential element of my faith. And I thank God for being able to share in that experience.

Peace and blessings~

With love,

Your friend bob : )

My 100th Post---In England!

2009-07-11T16:03:00.012-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I am so excited. Not only is it my 100th posting! Yay...but I am currently laying on a bed in a quaint bed and breakfast, the Stretton House, in Stratford-upon-Avon England, the birthplace of some writer named Bill Shakespeare. Apparently, this Shakespeare fellow is pretty popular in literature circles and, in general, worldwide. Huh! haha.

But in all seriousness, it really is quite lovely to be resting in a place where one of the most, if not the most, influential English authors to ever create fiction and poetry began his life. I sat at a pub called the Falcon tonight, the building where Shakespeare was actually BORN, and nursed a pint of lager while scribbling away in my notebook trying to write something ficticious. The place and the pint inspired me to get to page three...but by then it was raining pretty steadily.

So I walked home (to the bed and breakfast) in the drizzle. This kind of weather is typical in England. Misty, drizzly, barely windshield wiper rain. Enough to make you just wet enough to have to change your clothes when you get back to where you are staying.

And this weather...it has made me incredibly happy and satisfied tonight. I wouldn't exchange a rainy Saturday night in Stratford-Upon-Avon for anything else---which tells me I am as satisfied as I can be in the moment. And I thank God for this pleasant experience.

My trip thus far has been just that---pleasant. I can't think of a much more precise word than that to describe all the sights, sounds and Brits I have thus far observed and engaged in conversation with.

Tonight, eating dinner at King Fisher's---THE BEST FISH AND CHIPS in Stratford, according to my Rough Guide tour book (which has been a blessing thus far for a person who is indesisive when making decisions about places to eat and visit, and who struggles without a highly logical map (the book provided me with some structure for my Stratfording on Saturday evening)), I met four wonderful elderly people from Liverpool. Two couples, two sisters and their husbands to be exact, were devouring the same delicious fish and chip special that filled my belly tonight. Small world indeed...I had asked the waitress the best means of transportation to Liverpool when the four people sitting behind me chimed in, noting that they were actually from Liverpool! Well...that got us to talking. Talking about the Beatles, the ferry across the Mersey, Merseyside (it turns out one of the sisters works about one quarter of a kilometer from where I will be staying with my friend Sheila come Monday!).

I am so excited for continuing the next four weeks in England and France. The past few days have been, as I previously mentioned, so very pleasant. Staying with my friend Rachel and her father in Oxford, England, I was able to tour some of the oldest, most prestigious colleges in the entire world. I also went punting in the Thames river, grabbed a drink in a pub where C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkein used to relax, and toured some beautiful churches and chapels. I was also able to run in nice, 65 to 70 F and partly cloudy weather, and to connect with a good friend of mine from college. Overall, I would say that England has been charming and incredibly rewarding thus far.

I'm off to finish my nightcap of English tea with a little bit of milk in it. Cheers until my next posting!

Prayers, peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Just leaving Heathrow Airport

2009-07-08T10:58:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I am so terribly tired...but I look good. That's because I am being a trendy tec. kid, sending this blog out on a bus from London's Heathrow Airport on my way to Oxford. (The Wi-Fi was free). Wow it has been a long, long day (and then night and now day again) of traveling. I have met some wonderful people thus far, especially a new friend I sat next to on the plan from Dublin to London who is from Botswana! She had been studying at university in Dublin and is now on her way to be reunited with family, boyfriend and friends! It was a blessing to be able to set next to her on her plane ride home after years of schooling!

I hope all is well with everyone back at home. I'll try and keep you posted periodically on whats going on. I should be in Oxford England in just over an hour or so. Prayers, peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Life Worth Living

2009-07-05T23:46:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I just wanted to post a blurb of a moment; one of those "life is worth living" moments. What do I mean? Well, I rode my bike back from Summerfest tonight after seeing Elvis Costello perform (solid show!). After returning to St. Francis Seminary (where I have been staying this summer while in Milwaukee), I brought my bike into the house. Since I am leaving for Europe on Tuesday (I'm so, so excited!) and will be gone for over a month, I figured I would store my bike in my temporary room (I am staying in this room until they kick me out...I already have a room in my seminary in Chicago.)

Anyways...the "life is worth living" moment. I leave the dining room after grabbing a before bed snack and I realize I have two options with this bike in my hands: I can either walk it casually to the elevator...or I can ride it through the dining room to the stairs and finally to the elevator. Feeling a bit mischevious and carefree, I chose the latter. To be able to ride a bike inside, even if just for a few seconds, was incredibly liberating. Why? I don't know. Maybe it was that feeling of freedom that comes every once in awhile you can't quite comprehend. Maybe it was that feeling of a gentle breeze that a pedal bike ride can give a person. Maybe it was the feeling of being alone but being connected with the world all at once through a Spirit of Life and Love.

Whatever the freedom of the moment riding a bike inside a large seminary building meant, it provided me with an opportunity to thank God for life. It is worth living...it is so so worth it. If nothing else, we have those little pure moments of joy we can't explain. And those moments, the unexpected, unexplainable dimension of them...the freeness of the freedom within those moments...that is what we can come to call cherishable. The moments with a person, people, or simply ourselves. It is in those moments that we begin to feel the dimension of a life worth living. And like I said before, I thank God---a God who is Love. I thank Life and the Love that gave life its meaning.

peace and blessings and I look forward to keeping all of you posted on my travels in England and France!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Rest in Peace Jim

2009-06-29T10:48:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I have some sad news that I feel like sharing with my friends in the Network.

A friend of mine from high school died less than a week ago. Though I didn’t know him very well, I feel obligated to write a little bit about Jim and how his death is hitting me. It’s strange; I had received a message from him only a week before he had died, stating that he planned to show up at my 21st birthday party to say hello to many old friends. We never saw him that night.

Trying to process Jim’s death is very hard right now. I have so many things to look forward to this week---my brother, sister-in-law and nephew are in town and I get to spend time with them, I have plans to go to Summerfest and meet up with friends I have not seen in a while, and I am preparing to spend an entire month in England and France!

But Jim’s death is making me feel very uncomfortable and uneasy inside. I don’t quite know why this is---maybe it is because he had messaged me only a week before his passing---maybe it is because this is the first time that someone my age who I actually knew has died.
Jim was always so incredibly warm and outgoing to me. I remember how musical he was (he played percussion in the high school band), how gifted he was. I remember Jim being really witty, with a fun, kind of cynical sense of humour, but a warm heart at the core. I miss Jim even though I didn’t know him very well and I hadn’t seen him really since ending high school.

I think part of this sadness, to put it in a theological light (which helps me cope with the situation), is that with Jim’s passing away, we lose a member of the body of Christ, a piece of our humanity. I don’t recall Jim’s religious beliefs---and whatever they were, that is not important for this reflection. What is important is that Jim did bring light to many people’s lives, even though he himself may have had to struggle with some dark times (just as we all have to).
Jim’s passing away has put me in a funk since I heard about it---a kind of funk that comes with a shocking revelation. But here is another shocking revelation---I, we, may just have an opportunity to fully reconnect in the eternal banquet. I pray for Jim and for his family today as they cope with the painful loss of a son at such a young age.

I pray that all of Jim's beloved have the strength and the courage to continue their own life journey without Jim (though he may walk with them in spirit). I pray that they cope in productive ways---ways that pay tribute to the creativity and the beauty that rested inside of Jim before he began his rest in peace.

I pray God that you look after Jim in whatever capacity that may be---for the Kingdom is a mystery both here on earth as well as in heaven. Whatever or wherever or however Jim may be, may he be free to love and be loved. May Jim be fully healed and alive in the Spirit of God. I can still picture his full beard (he could grow one by the age of 17!), his John Lennon glasses, and his soothing smile.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us, and the world may live as one" (John Lennon, "Imagine" lyrics).

I hope someday we all may be joined in an everlasting life.
Right now, may our friend Jim Russell rest in peace.

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob.

Dinner at Polish Restaurant with a Central American Theme

2009-06-24T11:05:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It is Wednesday mid-morning and I am blogging on break from a summer camp that I am helping to run for my job. This afternoon, sixteen high school boys interested in ordained priesthood are going to come to our seminary to find out more about what it is like to be a seminarian. So I suppose I will have to be on my best behavior : ) Enjoy the heat if that is what you like. If the weather is too warm for you, play it safe indoors. My run this morning was filled with sweat, and this was before 8 am. The high is supposed to be in the mid 90's F in the Milwaukee area. Yikes!
Grab a beverage from a lemonade stand today if you can find one. Or, start your own lemonade stand (you can always be a kid at heart!).

Reflection:

I had dinner last night with a friend of mine. He is a Franciscan order priest who has been to many places throughout the world. Where we found ourselves last night was at a polish restaurant in the Milwaukee area. As we nibbled on Polish fare and drank a Polish beer, we chatted about some of our excursions. A melting pot of cultures became a part of our conversation amidst cuisine: I was wearing a Brazilian soccer jersey and talking about El Salvador, while Fr. Steve was speaking in Polish, ordering Polish food for him and I, and discussing his three weeks in Guatemala back in 1984. It was his discussion of Guatemala that I want to talk briefly about.
He was there to give a retreat to a group of religious sisters. He had done a talk in New Orleans for members of the same religious order and they had like him so much that they suggested he ought to speak to the sisters in Guatemala. Back in 1984, it was a bit easier for a United States citizen (or anyone for that matter) to travel to New Orleans than to Guatemala. Guatemala was in the process of fighting what would be a decades long civil war. The war ended up ending the lives of thousands of people, some innocent women and children. The story goes very similar to that of the Central American country that I am most familiar with and that I have blogged about, El Salvador. Both of these neighboring countries were like ships in tumultuous, raging waters in the 1980s---I learned this from a young outsider looking historically in on immersion trips. Fr. Steve, though an outsider as well, learned a bit about the struggle of Guatemala during the time when the struggle was at the height of a civil war.
He said he came back being very angry at our government. I had the same feeling when I left El Salvador for the first time. I thought to myself: why did we do what we did? Why didn't our government have the intelligence to look beyond black and white? Why was the cause who had Marxist tendencies so severely wrong and the people in charge, the government who acted as a military dictatorship...why were they the ones being given money and support? I understand that we were in the middle of the Cold War...but it doesn't seem to excuse the actions of our institution.
And yet, reconciliation has to come from these events. From the war between peoples of the same country and land, from the governments working on the outside and looking in, and from everyone---innocent and guilty---in between. A man in El Salvador at a revolutionary museum that commemorates the efforts of the Guerrilla group who fought against the government during that country's civil war had this to say about the war: there were mistakes made by BOTH sides, and NO ONE had the full truth.
It was a mentality like that that seemed to be a grounds where reconciliation and forgiveness might someday gloriously take place. And it was a faith, coming from the woman I stayed with in El Salvador, who had lost a father and brother in the civil war, that reconciled my own anger. She believes in the intercession of saint Oscar Romero, the Archbishop of El Salvador murdered while saying mass by soldiers of the El Salvador government. Romero has become a real Christ-like figure for the people of El Salvador and for others around the world.
It is in believing that the martyrs of our faith, the martyrs of the people of God, still live to tell the story of how their death can somehow continue to bring life to us, that we begin the long and difficult journey toward reconciliation and healing. Martyrs give us hope and love that there is something beyond this world, if we believe that their lives meant something beyond the struggle, the pain and the wars of this world.

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Reconciliation: Make our day more right, bright

2009-06-18T08:57:00.005-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I hope your week is treating you well. Tonight, I am thoroughly looking forward to seeing many old friends: today is my 21st birthday and I am having a party to celebrate. The party will also serve as a fundraiser for my efforts to run the Chicago Marathon for Team in Training, an organization that raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The party starts at 9 pm at Live Bar in Milwaukee (just off of North and Farwell) for anyone of age who may be interested in coming.

Reflection:

Real short this morning (I don't have much time...I really should put a few hours of work in at my job for the Archdiocese Vocations Office before taking off this afternoon to celebrate and be with friends!).

This morning, as I read the Gospel reading for today, I was struck by one line. The reading is from the middle of the famous sermon on the mount, presented in Matthew's Gospel.
Jesus says:
"If you forgive others their transgressions,your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others,neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."

It reminds me of a conversation I had a few days ago at dinner with my parents. We talked about how our church needs to be a church of absolute reconciliation: reconciliation within, reconciliation without. The walls of the church need to be thin enough to allow whispers of forgiveness to seep through, penetrating the depth and soul of the institution the world knows as the Roman Catholic Church. Reconciliation can take place on an individual level and on a massive scale. When we say, "I forgive you" to a person who has deeply hurt us, we are saying, God, forgive them. Our words of forgiveness become words that can become tears of joy, as the pain drips down our cheeks, as we pluck the log out of our own eye so that we may see our sister or brother more clearly. That sister and brother, whatever they may have done to us, becomes the light of Christ. In a way, they become purified, just as we become purified, just as our Heavenly Parent is perfect and pure.

When we forgive someone, we forgive our self for our own hardness of heart. But this is not an easy thing to do. I know this. There are wounds in my own heart that I know need to be further cleansed, processed, ironed out. Here is a short little prayer asking God for the grace to be a reconciling person, to process and ultimately release those wounds:

Lord, I know there are flowers in the pavement and there are flowers in the park.
Lord, make these flowers that grow in our world today, instruments to weed out my own hardened heart.

May we all find the peace that reconciliation can bring. To my sisters and brothers today, I say "Peace be with you!" Today, let's all try to forgive a person that has wronged us. It might make our day feel more right---and may we shout, from the dark night of our soul, "bring on the bright light!"

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

With a Spirit of Adventure, I Suggest you see the movie UP.

2009-06-14T22:01:00.000-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

On Sunday night, I decided to use a Marcus Cinema Gift Card that I received several years ago as a Christmas. Finally I used the card–––and it was well worth the wait.

I saw Pixar’s newest movie UP, and was incredibly impressed with the entire production. As is generally the case with Pixar movies, the animation is quite a sight. However, it was the story that I will most remember–––in particular the relationship between Carl and Ellie Frederickson. Without giving too much away, Carl and Ellie are two childhood friends who end up marrying each other early on in the film. Carl is more reserved and quiet while Ellie is an absolute go-getter and talkative person. They really seem to compliment each other.

Early on in the film, there is a four-minute montage where Carl and Ellie gracefully grow old together and experience some challenging moments with one another–––including a painful miscarriage. In the end, Ellie and Carl just have each other. And again, not to give too much away, but the audience finds out in the first fifteen minutes of the film that Ellie passes away before Carl, leaving Carl alone without his soul mate.

The movie is as much about Carl’s resurrection via comprehending and coping with the loss of a truly dear friend. An especially touching part of the movie is a scene where Carl relives the life Ellie and him had together through paging through Ellie’s “Adventure Book.” We find out just how much of an adventure living with Carl really was for Ellie. Ellie seems to come to the realization that it is in some of lives most seemingly idle or basic, simple moments that the Spirit of Adventure most radiates. Looking at her relationship with Carl as an “adventure” seems to make it fresh, life-giving and Spirit-sharing. It is only through incredible struggles and feelings of tremendous isolation that Carl realizes he can continue without Ellie. It is her memory that ultimately provides him the strength and courage to continue on a new adventure, a new journey.

Carl goes through the grieving process: he moves from life with Ellie, to her death, to a kind of in-this-life resurrection both of his own Spirit and the Spirit of Adventure that Ellie had helped him foster and develop.

The movie, among many other things, shows us that a seed planted within us by someone who we especially admire and care for can still grow even when that person leaves us. And that is something that can provide each and every one of us with much hope when facing some of life’s greatest obstacles.

I suggest you go and see the movie if you have the time and money. It is a small investment that is well worth it in my opinion.

Feel free to post any comments you might have after having seen the movie.

Peace and blessings~

With love,

Your friend bob : )

An Innocent Man Killed

2009-06-11T08:31:00.005-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

Today I opened my google news page and read a rather disturbing article from the Washington Post. At the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Maryland, an 88 year old man walked in and opened fire. A security guard named Stephen Johns was killed after being hit by a bullet. Here is the beginning of the article:

Colleagues called Stephen T. Johns "Big John," for he was well over 6 feet tall. But mostly friends recalled the security guard's constant courtesy and friendliness.

"A soft-spoken, gentle giant," said Milton Talley, a former employee of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, where Johns was killed yesterday in the line of duty -- shot, authorities said, by an avowed white supremacist who entered the museum with a rifle.

"A wonderful individual . . . a truly jovial human being," museum director Sara J. Bloomfield said on this morning on NBC's "Today" show.

Details of the shooting remained sketchy last night, but apparently the 39-year-old guard, who was armed with a .38-caliber revolver, did not have time to react when James W. von Brunn walked into the museum, according to police sources.

"Immediately upon entering the front doors of the museum, he raised the rifle and started shooting," D.C. Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier said of von Brunn, 88, adding that he "was engaged by security guards, and there was an exchange of gunfire."

When the smoke cleared, von Brunn was critically wounded. The only casualty among the guards was Johns, who lived in Prince George's County. At least one bullet from a small-caliber rifle hit Johns in his upper-left torso, according to Johns's employer, the Wackenhut security company.

I pray for the innocent security guard Stephen T. Johns and his entire family. May he rest in peace after the violent way his life was abruptly ended on this earth. And, as difficult as it is to say, I must try and pray for the man with a hateful heart---the cold blooded killer James von Brunn. Hopefully, von Brunn lives with a feeling of terrible guilt for what he decided to do. But, as a Christian person, wanting reconciliation for all people, I pray that von Brunn has a conversion. Maybe I can't grant von Brunn quick forgiveness for being a murderer---but maybe God can be open enough to allow von Brunn to see his wrongs and identify the evil persistent in his entire being.

Sometimes we use the term like "it kills me" when something terrible happens. I think in this situation, it might be appropriate to say that "it kills me" that a person like von Brunn would be evil enough to carry out a hate crime against an innocent person like Stephen Johns. I think it has the potential to actually make us realize how fragile and how weak both our individual and collective human spirit can be. von Brunn was one person who was a white supremacist. But there are unfortunately many other racists like him.

The Washington Post concludes with a telling quote from someone who worked at the museum with von Brunn:

"This speaks so powerfully to the mission of the museum...Which is that hate is still with us, and this is why the museum exists."

Hate does exist, in so many complex and serious forms. We all need forgiveness and reconciliation. May it come for all in God's time.

peace and blessings~

with love,

your friend bob.

El Salvador Reflection

2009-06-08T15:36:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I've been busy typing away at my job writing newsletters for the Vocations Office of the Milwaukee Archdiocese. But while taking a break, I thought I would post a reflection/article I wrote regarding my trip to El Salvador in May. I have already posted several blogs referencing the trip, but this article is more concise and more full, I believe, than the previous postings.

Just to give you a background: Our trip was through Loyola Campus Ministry and there were 10 of us in total who went to El Salvador. We stayed with families for several days in Zaragosa, El Salvador, and spent most of the rest of our time visiting various sites of importance to the history of El Salvador---to the history of the bloody civil war of that country, the struggling economic situation of its history, and to the history of the Catholic Church in El Salvador. There are many Christian martyrs who have played a role in shaping the outcome of the history of El Salvador. It really is a country filled with a rich, dramatic, and, at times very difficult to stomach, history.

My reflection deals primarly with the host family who welcomed me into their home and community. I stayed with them for less than two days, but the experience has touched my heart to the point that I hope, pray really, will last a lifetme.

The Privilege of Immersion
By Bob Spoerl
I am a very privileged, fortunate undergraduate student. Several weeks ago I went to El Salvador for the second time in as many years. Again, I had the opportunity to eat a lot of pupusas (the most popular Salvadorian dish, a thick tortilla stuffed with things like refried beans and salty, tasty white cheese) and devour fried plantains just about every day. On a deeper level, I was able to spend time with some remarkable people and grow closer to God. On May 11, following the end of my Spring semester and junior year of college seminary at St. Joe’s on the campus of Loyola University Chicago, a group of eight students from Loyola University including myself and two faculty members flew out of O’Hare Airport on a flight through Houston to San Salvador, the capital city of El Salvador on our way to a ten day immersion with people from El Salvador. Our trip was part of the Alternative Break Immersion program, a division of Campus Ministry at Loyola. The immersion program (a program offered by many campuses throughout the states, including Marquette University in Milwaukee) presents students with an experience materially out of the ordinary in comparison to the general situation here in the United States.
For the first few days, we spent our time staying with host families from a city named Zaragosa. With a little over 30,000 residents, Zaragosa is a generally self-sustaining community about 45 minutes from San Salvador. Many of the people are essentially working middle class in comparison to fellow Salvadorians. For the seven person family that hosted me, this meant living in a home about the size of a 1950’s style suburban ranch home in the states. However, the construction of the home was much different than what you might find here in the mid-west of the United States. The walls of the house were made out of concrete, the roof partially exposed, and the floor was very dry, hard dirt. If a member of the house wants to shower, he dips a bucket into a tub full of water and then gently pours the water over his body. When cleaning himself, he needs to be careful to preserve the water; it is often a most delicate entity---at the time we stayed with our family, they had lacked running water for around a week from what I understood. Several backup tubs acted as storage units in case water got too low. Nevertheless, preservation of water was a must---when my friend Carl and I (Carl is a sophomore at Loyola University) helped our family by washing dishes, we realized how conscious we had to be of how much water we were using on each cup or plate or fork. For me, it became a game of how efficient my dish cleaning could be---I became a human dishwasher, keen on preserving water!
Even though we developed an awareness of the daily life of our host family on a kind of material level, the home stay was more than a realization of how the economic and material situation in Zaragosa and, by comparison much of El Salvador, affects the actual people living and breathing in the country. Beyond considering this aspect of what it means to be Salvadorian, our group was privileged enough to gain an insight into the spirit and characters of our friends in El Salvador. We actually had an opportunity to become “immersed,” as our program suggests, in a culture foreign to us but home to another. We shared stories with our host families (in broken, broken Spanish), ate meals together, slept under the same roof, and drank the same coffee (which, no argument, beats Starbucks ANYDAY). Our time became Salvadorian and our bodies became swamped in the heat of the place. And our lives, just for a short moment, became intertwined with people incredibly distant, geographically and even economically speaking, than us. Yet, an “us and them” binary became intimately and remarkably transformed into a “we” union in many ways. We were, by all appearances, the foreigners. We were clumsy in our ways, people obviously from a different place. Still, we all gathered together at the same table in Zaragosa. We all ate the same meal and we all laughed at the same jokes (even if some of them had to be translated). We all enjoyed the same music at our Zaragosa block party, and we all danced to the same beat (though some much more gracefully than others). I was a dancing fool, along with many other people in my group, and we did not care how we looked. Sure we were out of our comfort zone. But out of the zone, we were able to enter into a life full of joy and hope. Amidst all of the daily struggle our Salvadorian friends face, despite the fact that our family in Zaragosa had lost three members during a civil war in the 1980’s that left some 75,000 Salvadorians dead, despite the fact that my host grandmother had been thrown into prison by the government for several years, locked away because her husband fought for a revolutionary group seeking to overthrow the militaristic government, there was an incredible amount of faith and vitality in her spirit. She motivated me in the moments I wanted to escape back to “me;” she kept me on the path toward “we,” the place we were called to be in those tender moments with our host families.
Carl and I had an opportunity to share in scripture reading with this little old lady with a heart of gold. Our abuela (grandmother, the one who had lost her husband during the war), is a very devout Catholic. The entire family we stayed with finds a lot of strength in their Catholic faith; on their dinner table sits a Bible and on the wall directly above the table rests a kind of makeshift shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe. One afternoon, after lunch, I asked them if I could take a look at their bible; our grandmother handed it to me. As I sat there, with a most precious part of my family’s life (and I am referring now to my family in El Salvador and my family in the United States really) I opened it and considered what to do. Saying a little unwritten prayer in my head, I flipped through the pages. After less than a minute, I knew where to go with this moment---rather, I feel the Spirit was leading me to a place in this time. The place was Psalm 23---a psalm that has helped me in several dark and dreary moments during my life.
I handed Carl the bible and asked him to read it (I wasn’t trying to be mischievous, but, like me, Carl does not have much training in the Spanish language). It didn’t matter though. He read the psalm straight from his heart, with what seemed like all his heart. The words flowed smooth and methodically and, as we all listened, I felt like we were part of a very special Sacramental moment. Shepherd us O God, WE need you! I grabbed my camera and took several snapshots of Carl reading. He is a person who can be incredibly deep and serious when he needs to be, but is generally laid back and joking. So, I thought it was an opportune time to take a snapshot of Carl at a moment when he seemed to be connecting especially deeply with the Spirit all around us.
This snapshot of a moment in time is but one example of many other instances of Sacred, tender times I experienced in El Salvador. The “we” moments of our trip is what I most cherish---the times when we gathered to share in union with one another. These unified moments where filled with a variety of emotions: I think of Sunday morning mass; listening to the deeply moving guitar strums and the voice of Julieta, our faithful tour guide and spiritual mentor throughout the week. I recall a prayer said at the chapel where Archbishop Oscar Romero was assassinated saying mass. The prayer we read was a prayer he, a Christian martyr, had written. Our group from Loyola, we were able to share in the remembrance of a saint of the Salvadorian people. I consider the moments when we visited other martyr sites, and the incredibly difficult, painful moment of traveling to a village, El Mozote, where hundreds of innocent women and children had been brutally slaughtered out of fear that they might one day rise up and fight the government. I consider moments of embrace---times when a hug or a hand held meant the world in that moment. And in these moments, these tender moments, I realized that the face of God is transparent, whispered into our ears like a soft, gentle breeze off the Pacific Ocean on the shores of a Salvadorian beach, written into our hearts and filling them with a Love that always has something to give no matter what we materially possess.
It is not often that we have an opportunity during our busy days as people living, studying and working in the United States to take time to realize and practice the presence of God. I am fortunate to have set times during my day to pray as a college seminarian for the Milwaukee Archdiocese, and to reflect on memories of love, of God. My prayer for everyone reading this article is that you have an opportunity to consider the awesome presence of God in the everyday moments of your life. God is not just present in a trip to a different place, meeting new people. God transcends globalization and circles right back to the very place that a person calls home. To draw from the old adage, “home is where the heart is,” we might update this saying to have it read something like this: “home is where God is.” Hush, hush, someone is knocking at your door. In the silent, tender moments, may a God-who-is be an Advocate to make the “them” in your life a we, so that WE may all come to the table of plenty, marching in the light of Christ and sharing as a Community of believers.
Remember: Juntos Somos Fuertes!!! (Together we are strong!)

~ Peace and blessings ~

with love,

your friend bob : )

Me to We---With a little help from my friends

2009-06-01T22:09:00.006-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I had dinner tonight with a truly inspiring friend of mine, a retired priest from the Milwaukee Archdiocese who spent much of his ministerial time serving people in the central city. I showed up at his place 25 minutes late (I'm becoming maybe a bit too laid back regarding time management being on summer break and all). Because of my tardiness, the dinner plans at a local restaurant were scratched (he had things to do later besides wait for me to show up for dinner plans I suppose!). This turned out to be a good thing. Instead of spending money on food cooked for us, we made a makeshift meal of green pea soup, white rice, baby carrots, milk and watermelon chunks for desert. It was a feast that left me feeling full and satisfied, but, even more importantly, the conversation at table helped to strengthen, encourage, and enliven my Spirit. I thank my friend for that. Our dinner and conversation inspired me to get my hands back on the keyboard and type this reflection.

I just wanted to share something I wrote in my journal from my recent trip to El Salvador. I felt a strong attachment to the place and the people this second time around. It was a kind of spiritual high and fulfillment I am very grateful to have experienced. Thus, I feel compelled to share it with you, my friends:

My confession of what is in my heart, put on paper:
May 15, 2009 --- 2 pm

It's not that I don't want to leave...it's that I want to return to El Salvador. I want to continue to learn from El Salvador, my friends here; the community---the PEOPLE.
I want to breathe more breaths here, to spend more time here.
This isn't 'home;' but I feel called to better interpret and learn the way of home from my friends here in El Salvador.
If it is meant to be Lord, I pray that I can return. I will do what I can to make it happen. But it is ultimately in your hands.

***

So I know the above journal entry might sound a bit dramatic or romantic---like I side, it was written at a time when I was definitely feeling a kind of spiritual high. However, I still feel a stirring in my heart to return to the people I was able to see again. And I think part of it is that I feel as if my time in El Salvador is a time for me to try and weed out my material garden that begins to grow when I get so caught up in "me." When I am studying, it is all about me. What do I need to do? How can I get a better grade? How can I get help? Who can help me?
And in my short time in El Salvador, with a group of 10 people from Loyola University, spending time with a community of people from the city of Zaragosa who selflessly cooperate to make daily life a reality, I began to feel purged from some of the greed that stirs within me from time to time.

Upon returning, I realize that that greed does not go away. I am back to plotting for me. What am I going to do next? Where am I going to go next? How will I make it?

But when I am asking these questions, I am trying my best to incorporate the WE I learned from my friends in Zaragosa. When me becomes we, I am a step closer to I AM who AM. WE can discern the whisper of a God who is Love, working in our lives at the very core of our heart.

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

At work...

2009-05-28T14:09:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I have abandoned the blog for about a week because I just moved into a new place and started a new job. I am living and working at the beautiful seminary building and grounds in St. Francis, Wisconsin, the major seminary and place where some of the administration of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee is housed: http://www.sfs.edu/toursem.html. I am enjoying my time here thus far and I am happy to be working for the Vocations office of the Archdiocese. Though I am busy, I still plan to continue compiling stories and reflections from El Salvador. I want to get that trip on paper before the memory fades too much!

I hope all is well with all of you~

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Prayer for beginning our Trip

2009-05-22T07:58:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Here is a short prayer that summed up the pre-landing feelings stirring inside of me. As I mentioned in the last posting, the next few weeks I would like to share with all of you my experience in El Salvador from May 11 - May 20 on immersion with a group of fellow Loyola University students.

Prayer for beginning the trip:

We thank God our Creator for having brought us to this moment, together sharing in life.
We seek God the Spirit, ask the Spirit to provide a path as we journey ahead to a new place, making new friends.
We ask God the Redeemer to help settle any internal or external tensions that may arise in this time of reflection, awakening and renewal.
We trust that together we are strong and that where we are, so God---the LIVING God---is present.
And so we walk together in light---Juntos somos fuertes! (Together we are strong)...Amen.

peace and blessings,

with love,

your friend bob : )

El Salvador 2009: In the Sky

2009-05-21T08:31:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I have just returned from a ten day immersion with a group of fellow Loyola University Chicago students and staff. It was another incredible experience---touching, motivating, captivating. I can not wait to witness the fruits of this trip both within me internally as well as within the lives of my fellow pilgrims.

I would like to share the experience with all of you who might read this blog. Each day, I want to share some writing from my Travel Journal for the trip (thanks to my mom for giving me a specific journal for El Salvador 2009). And so today begins day one of recapping what I witnessed in El Salvador, and how I felt the Spirit moving me as I tried my best to immerse myself in a place new to me.

El Salvador 2009, DAY ONE - Monday, May 11, Morning:

I would like to fall in love this week. I'm not seeking a long-term relationship with the woman of my dreams (I mean, I am a seminarian after all!). But in all seriousness, I'm talking about a different style of loving. It won't be long distance, though it will include people from a distance far from where I know home to be. This kind of love will sustain and nourish me, will make me struggle; it will frustrate and anger me just like any other act of falling in love. I suspect there is a tension inherent in seeking this kind of love---as a matter of fact, I know there is, having tasted tiny moments of such a love in travels before. This love, being transcendental, multicultural, border-crossing, body moving, spirit shaking, mind-altering, heart-captivating. It is the kind of love that Jesuit priest Dean Brackley (a professor at the University of Central America in San Salvador) hints at, a kind of falling in love with the poor.
"The poor usher us into the heart of reality. They bring us up against the world and ourselves all at once." (Brackley).

Will I meet the poorest of the poor in El Salvador? Probably not. But...do I really have to? Or, do I just need to meet the people where they are, even though that spot is impossible for me to materially comprehend. I still remember the family I stayed with in Zaragosa, El Salvador last year. I don't remember their names---but I recall their faces. And I recall their lack of material things---a dinner table, a refrigerator, running water,, things I assume would make their life much less complicated. I remember the grandma of the family taking my friend Laura and I to her church, Laura and I hungry, thirsty and cranky from the long trip. We were both irritated because we were incredibly uncomfortable. I think we were being forced "up against ourselves" as Dean Brackley suggests happens to privileged North Americans who take immersion trips to developing countries. And yet, despite our discomfort, we made it through that night and through the trip. Fatigued, but touched.

It doesn't seem probable that I will encounter something magnificent in only a few hours when we depart the San Salvador airport to meet with Julieta and begin our life in El Salvador. As I sip my complimentary Continental Airlines coffee, and tower sky high, gazing below at a seaof puffy white clouds, I can't help but recall Julieta's mind-blowing description of a God who is HERE AND NOW---a God who liberates.

Maybe it doesn't seem probable to recapture some of the mystery of last year's trip to El Salvador---or maybe I need to trust in the"mystery of God," the encounter that brought me somehow here to this moment and in this place.
~+~

Urban Church Gardening

2009-05-07T08:30:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I find myself in St. Louis visiting a wonderful parish called St. Elizabeth the Mother of John the Baptist http://www.archstl.org/semoj/. The pastor, Fr. Jeff, has welcomed me into the community, keeping me busy helping out at the school and getting aquintated with some of the various ministries of the church. This morning I helped the eighth grade class do some gardening with "Mr. Steve," (though he prefers to be called Stephen). Stephen is an urban farmer who co-operates Natural Roots http://www.newrootsurbanfarm.org/ an urban farm a few miles from St. Elizabeth. Fr. Jeff asked Stephen to come and help plant a garden at the church; St. Elizabeth now has a garden to call their own, a little urban garden!

More to be said about the experience in St. Louis...I'm enjoying my stay very much but I am also looking forward to running a marathon in Lake Geneva on Saturday morning! And then...I return to El Salvador, a country I visited and wrote about on this blog last May. I can't wait to continue to journey onward, to continue to seek God in the people and places I visit.

I hope you all are enjoying your May and that PEACE prevails.

peace and blessings,

with love,

your friend bob : )

The Namesake

2009-05-01T09:25:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

TGIF...except that I have three exams in the next four days! Yikes. My friend Stephen is in the same situation, as are many other students during this time. But we see the light at the end of the tunnel, as our summer break is only a few days away. Thank God.

Reflection:

I just (literally 5 minutes ago) finished a novel called The Namesake. Written by author Jhumpa Lahiri, made into a motion picture recently, the novel received some pretty favorable review upon its publication several years back. The story is told in a very subtle, readable fashion. I read a majority of it in one day, finishing about two hundred pages yesterday. (Okay, so I have an exam on the book today...but I really did enjoy reading the novel!).

It deals with the Ganguli family who move from Calcutta to the Boston area to start a new life in America. The story centers around Gongol, the son of Ashoke and Ashami, the couple who had moved from India to the states. Gongol, a first generation U.S. citizen, lives a fairly typical childhood for a kid from the Northeast---except for the culture and traditions his parents maintain from their native home. I don't want to write a reflection on the entire novel, but I would rather reflect on one line in the final chapter that struck me. I warn you, if you have any incling to read the book, you might not want to read this reflection.

That being said, here is the quote: "Her husband dwells discreetly, silently, patiently within its pages." To put the quote into context, Gogol has recovered a book The Overcoat that his now deceased father gave him while Gogol was a teenager. The book, written by Nikolai Gogol, has a special place in the heart of the Ganguli family, especially in Gogol's father. It was this book that had, in a sense, saved Gogol's fathers live. He had been in a massive trainwreck in his early twenties, and had been saved because someone had noticed him drop a piece of paper from his hand, a single sheet from The Overcoat that was still in his hand from reading before the plane had crashed. He gives the name Gogol to his son because he consider's Gogol's novel to have saved his life.

So, back to the quote: "her husband dwells discreetly, silently, patiently within its pages." Gogol, who had shrugged off the moment his father gave him The Overcoat as a teenager, cherishes the book and that moment some twenty years later, after his father has passed away and as he has time to reflect on just what Gogol actually meant to his father. When he gave the name, it was out of thankfulness that he survived, that he was given the gift of continued life. Gogol, the son, resented the name for such a long time, actually legally changing his name to Nikhil, which he think sounded much more professional and reasonable. However, Gogol, with a copy of The Overcoat in his hands, seems to understand something more about the book than he had ever understood before. The book contains a memory of his father and the life that had helped to give him life. His love lives and dwells "discreetly, silently, and patiently," within the pages of a book.

And think of texts that have an impact on how we live. Think of Shakespeare's famous plays, or of Aristotle's philosophical writings, or Confucious' sayings, or of Ancient Israeli texts that compose part of the Bible. I reflect on how important the Bible is in my own life, how the Gospel writings in the New Testament help to give my life meaning and purpose...how I believe that God dwells patiently, discreetly, and silently within the pages of the text.

Well loved writings, like well loved music, has the ability to open up our Spirit and provide us with purpose. It is that goosebumpy feeling, becoming SHOOK, understanding that there is a way to remember and record memories. It is in the remembering of history that we transform and shape our present, and work to build a better future.

I hope you have a chance to open up a text that you hold close to your heart, or listen to a song that really strikes a chord within you, or simply be silent and allow a patient Spirit to gently soothe your soul. In our busy lives, finding these moments can keep us motivated and moving forward toward a more beautiful reality.

peace and blessings!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Saul to Paul

2009-04-29T09:58:00.003-05:00

Greetings Fellow Network of Love Lovers,

As I gaze through my window toward Lake Michigan, I see a dreary day, but one I must fill with hope and anticipation...for exams are five days away from being done! I am looking forward to the end of the school year and I am grateful for the experiences of junior year in college and at seminary. The year has been full of many new things and people and places and I thank God for it all!

Reflection:

A short one...simply on Saul to Paul.

Today's first reading, coming from Acts of the Apostles, mentions the persecution of those first and second generation followers of Jesus Christ: "Saul, meanwhile, was trying to destroy the Church; entering house after house and dragging out men and women, he handed them over for imprisonment." (Acts Chapter 8). This Saul, this character who is imprisoning members of the early Christian community...it is hard to imagine that he becomes SAINT PAUL, one of the most influential, motivational voices of the Christian faith. His conversion story is one of epic proportions–––and his life after conversion is one that continues to bring people to want to preach, teach, and reach Christ. Paul "finds a new life in Christ." He considers loving one another to be a sign that a person has come to believe and is living an eternal reality connected with Christ. It is a saved living, one that confidently but humbly tries to re-trace the steps of Jesus, re-live a life worth reliving. In this attempt, those who seek to follow will not realize perfection per se...but in the seeking, God is present, alive, real. There is great joy in the city of God, as there was great joy in the city of Samaria in today's reading.

Sometimes I am Saul. I persecute others who I should be loving.
Sometimes I am Paul. I love those, living through the Spirit, that I might not love in another mind frame.
Sometimes I am living in between Saul and Paul. I want to act out of love but I am fearful of what that act might bring me---what realization or bolt of lighting will enter my life.

Is God calling me to take that step from Saul to Paul? Am I being called to preach a gospel message, a life worth living, laying my life down for others?

It might not be bad to reflect on these kinds of questions, especially when we are feeling as if we have mistreated someone with our words or actions. Our wake up call, on the road to Damascus, might be hardly a lightning bolt, but rather the silent stirrings of a God who is love who seeks us wherever we may be in life.

"I will not reject anyone who comes to me." (John, chapter 6 verse 37)

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

God in the Gray Area

2009-04-23T10:01:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Today we expect remarkable weather here in Chicago. Sunny, bright skies...surprise, surprise. I look forward to a "Waterloo Sunset," for any of you Kinks fans out there (band from the 1960s---before my time but music I really really enjoy).

Reflection:

"Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever disobeys the Son will not have life" (John, chapter 3, verse 36).

I start with this quote because it struck me this morning. It makes me uncomfortable when our faith becomes one of "insider" vs. "outsider." Those who believe get this. Those who don't get this.

God in the form of human person, Jesus, in a sense, deconstructs the binary oppositions of how we interpret commonly considered opposing terms like divine/person, real/unreal, mystery/reality, seen/unseen, life/death, etc. A never ending, eternal abyss of gray area, having been seated on earth, yet seated "at the right hand of God Creator," Jesus IS a person that helps our Spirit come to believe. And it can, and really must, be a constant search in trying to grasp the mystery of faith. Faith empowers us to "do something I could never do without faith," as Jesuit priest Mark Link writes. But it is something that we don't quite understand. We are in the process, as believers, of trying to understand. But we humbly accept that we can never attain a full realization.

As a Christian, one is baptized into the Christian faith. But this initial baptism points to a lifetime of constant renewal growth, development; we grow to try and better understand and live in harmony with, struggle with, wrestle with, but ultimately, in time, to be comfortable in and with our world and our self. All people of God, liberated by God as human person, can assist in the building of a kingdom of God dwelling on this earth. All of us who consider ourselves disciples of Jesus are called to commit to actively and continually search for ways to bring about the love and joy and peace that faith has granted us. It is in a spreading of the transforming ways of faith–in dialogue and friendship and love with all neighbors, that we might humbly bring about a world that sees eternal life as something real, something mysterious yet obtainable.

To paraphrase John 3:16, one of the most famous passages in the new testament: "For God so LOVED THE WORLD... that God gave us Jesus, a person living, breathing that we can learn from and we can believe in." It is in this image of God as Lover of the World that indefinite reconciliation seems a possibility. Even the greatest skeptic, the harshest critic of religion, of humanity, of the world, of life, is ultimately LOVED by God and, in turn, should be loved by us.

I fully understand that it is no easy task to love all people in our lives. But, I propose that faith empowers us to do something that we might never do without faith. For me, that faith comes through the life of Jesus, in God who became human person, who suffered, died and then rose to give us hope and greater faith in the possibilities inherent in this world. But it is only with searching, discerning hearts–––with compassion, open minds and open eyes, that we can hope to share in this faith. All of us our searching, no matter what we profess. I pray for all seeking, all journeying toward belief. May they be empowered! May faith become something that has no insiders and outsiders, knows no beginning or end. There is a beautiful gray area that transcends the limits of language. And in cultivating and resting in this area, we might just find God in those unspoken moments of our lives.

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

The Spirit Shakes Us

2009-04-20T08:47:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

It's a dreary, mopey Monday weather-wise. But I hope the Spirit fills you with good things today, with sunshine and hopes of pleasant journeys.

Reflection:

"As they prayed, the place where they were gathered SHOOK, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness" (Acts of the Apostles-ch. 4, verse 31).

I read this line this morning while reading the daily readings before our seminary community celebrated mass. It struck me...it hit me...it SHOOK me. It made me reflect on times in my life when I have been shook while gathered with people in prayer.
Recently, a member of my student prayer group here on Loyola's campus, shared an absolutely moving account of how she, only two years ago, had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. The diagnosis made her uncertain of her future on this earth–––but it made her all the more certain of her faith in God. She told our group that the tumor went away and that she has been tumor free for two years. Thank God! She said that that moment of her life, amidst a struggle that many of us cannot imagine enduring at the age of sixteen, she realized that she had a calling to fulfill. Her faith has led her to believe that she walks with Christ, every day of her life. Indeed, her story inspired both myself and the other member of the prayer group that night. I was shocked, taken aback, SHOOK by her story. It made that moment of prayer a window into the depths of not only my friend's soul, but the heart of faith–––our shared, communal faith.

A second moment that always SHOOK me when I was a kid (quite literally) was the organ at my home parish on special celebrations. Our organist Joe (he is still playing at our parish–––has been for something like 30 years–––is never shy when it comes to cranking out the sound on the organ. And I love that. Music has always been one of my passions–––so, as a little kid, I thought it was so radical and "cool" that music could be played loud and proud in church. Alleluia! Amen! Praise, praise, praise. The music SHOOK me.

And there are times in our life, moments of great sadness, that shake us. A close friend of mine just lost his father. While he seems to becoping with the loss much better than I feel that I could, I can only imagine the inner struggles he faces as he mourns the loss of someone who helped give him life. Hearing that, on Easter Sunday morning, his father had passed away in Kenya and that my friend would not be able to return for the funeral, all of that really SHOOK me. But hearing my friend's words about his father...that the man has discovered the "absolute healing" shook me with its beautiful boldness and total faith in God. Amen.

We gather together to pray, whether in church or at a table or at a special ceremony or event, because we crave that community that brings us closer to each other. In the Acts of the Apostles, we hear of a young community, with struggles, with joys, with hopes, with dreams and IN prayer. Living together in prayer, the place where they are becomes sacred. It is transformed by the Spirit of God. And each member of that community is "filled with the Holy Spirit" and is able to "speak the word of God with boldness."

peace and blessings~

with love,

your friend bob : )

To serve, to be served

2009-04-15T09:05:00.001-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Happy Easter to all of you! We celebrate five more weeks of the Easter Season, as we all also usher in the coming of spring. And here in the Midwest, we surely need a spring pick-me-up to set our sights toward summer.

Reflection:

I want to talk briefly about service. What it means to serve. I propose that there are two ways to serve. The first way would be what tends to come to mind when someone suggests that they are going to serve in some capacity–––to give you, to give your time, talents, and effort and expect little to nothing in return. An example I would draw from Christian scripture: Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. After he presents this “model” to his disciples, he urges them to do the same for one another. “So that as I have done for you, you should also do” (John, chapter 13, verse 15). The basic interpretation of this verse is that if your Lord can wash your feet, then you should be able to wash anyone’s feet. No one is too important to not serve a friend in need. Likewise, no one is unworthy of being served, of having his or her feet metaphorically washed. Whether we heal someone physically, spiritually or emotionally---whether we show them faith in some manner, the presence of God in their live or the presence of hope---we can be of service. And this leads me to a second way to serve.

When I went to El Salvador last year, I struggled with the idea that a family that did not have much in terms of material goods was treating me like royalty. My friend Laura and I were given two chairs at a small table while we ate, while our host family gathered in various places to eat meals. We were given the choicest portions, served first. We were almost like the priests in Leviticus and Deuteronomy, the priests in Ancient Israel who were given the greatest portions during sacrifices. This made us uncomfortable at first. We both struggled in the sense that we felt that we didn’t deserve this type of service. Who were we? What were we DOING for these people? Couldn’t we be doing more? How dare we take what little they have?

These questions took time to be resolved. Sometimes, they still eat away at me. But, just recently, a wise person made me aware of just what I WAS doing for my host family in El Salvador. By being a guest, by trying our best to be humble and grateful guests, we were serving our Salvadorian friends. How could this be? Again, I turn to a Gospel story. From John, chapter 12, we imagine Jesus in Bethany, only days before his crucifixion; Jesus is eating with Martha, Mary and Lazarus. “Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair.” This act of service, of elaborate hospitality troubles Judas. “Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages and given to the poor?” While Judas might have been asking this question with less than genuine concern for the poor (we are told he was stealing from the disciples’ money bag---further, he betrays Jesus), we can at least consider our own reaction to his question. Sometimes I think to myself…you know, Judas, if he would have been speaking with genuine concern for the poor, might have had a legitimate issue with the lavish oils being poured onto Jesus simply to relieve him or serve him.

However, Jesus’ response is crucial: “Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.” Jesus seems to say that it is worth our time to allow others to serve us. And if they care enough about us to do so, to turn down someone’s gift would be to deprive them of something. We might even consider it a form of betrayal. And in this sense, we see Judas’ question, even if it was asked with the most sincere of intentions, is lacking something. It is lacking in gratitude and acceptance of another person’s desire to show you that they care and love for you. To allow someone to serve you is a sincere form of service. It empowers another person and lets them enter into your life in a way that says I am open to your love and your hospitality. You warm my heart with your sign of appreciation. In turn, we then go to another person to serve them, to show that person we care. It is in giving of ourselves that we receive. It is in service that we are sometimes served and sometimes we serve.

May charity and love prevail!

A blessed continued celebration of Easter and Resurrection and Hope in new life to all!

Peace and blessings.

With love,

Your friend bob.

One of those Connection Moments

2009-04-08T16:09:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I hope your Wednesday is turning out nice. This day has been traditionally nicknamed "spy Wednesday" by some Christians because it is a day where the reading in the Gospel pertains to Judas being the "spy" who will ultimately hand over Jesus to officials to be put to death.

Today I don't have a reflection, just a comment of sorts.

After my Ancient Philosophy course, I was walking and talking with a friend from the class. We were talking briefly about our summer plans; I mentioned that I would be in England this summer for some time. She said in a joking way she was jealous. I said I was jealous of myself too. Anyways, she mentioned her boyfriend had some family in Chelsea, a district or area (I'm not quite sure as to the specifics really) of London. I had mentioned earlier in the conversation that I would be spending some time in Liverpool, staying with some friends. (I can't wait to write while in England staying with my wonderful friend Sheila! You will probably here about her in coming months!). Anyways...finishing my story...here's where it turns sort of interesting. Before we are both ready to go our separate ways, I look up at the TV in our student lounge (we were passing through after class). I noticed there was a soccer game on the television (football by most other country's terminology). This was a rugged football game being played by two teams in England. Can you guess the two clubs? I'll give you a hint...one of the areas begins with the letter "L" while the other begins with the letter "C." Crazy enough, Liverpool and Chelsea were playing each other and were being broadcast on ESPN the moment we mentioned the two places in England. Wow!!! It was one of those "connection moments."

I hope you make plenty of connections with family or friends this weekend if you are taking part in any church celebrations or picnics or dinners or festivities of any kind. And remember, even if people are not with you in person, there is that "connection" that we all don't quite understand, and that makes us step back. To think that we are all not connected by some beautiful, life-giving force is difficult for me to do. I know I am only human. But those signs...when you are least expecting them...those signs point us to think in a certain direction.

peace and blessings on your day!

with love,

your friend bob : )

2009-04-05T15:03:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I am posting a reflection that pertains to the coming week---Holy Week. The pastor at the parish I grew up with, my home parish in West Allis, Wisconsin, mentioned in an e-mail several days ago that he was thinking about what to say for Palm Sunday (today). It got me thinking a little bit...

As we were saying rosary in the house tonight, the fourth sorrowful mystery struck me as something to possibly ponder in light of Palm Sunday. Jesus carries the cross...we each carry a cross---individually and collectively. Whatever that cross may be, it sticks with us for a lifetime.

We each walk the path alongside Jesus, following him to the place of his death. We, as Christians, seek to hoist our crosses on the mountain alongside our Lord, dying where he destroyed our death. We cry in the valley of tears, on top of Mt. Calvary with Jesus as we contemplate his death. We relate his death to the death of someone we hold near and dear. It gives our theology substance and an intimacy that is both beautiful and painful. His suffering on the cross becomes the pains we cannot understand---the emotional, the physical pains we experience individually and collectively. Why does a woman expecting a child miscarry seven months into a pregnancy? Why did I lose my job after 25 years of faithful service to my company? How could a person abuse his own child? What compells a teenager to take her own life?

These kinds of questions are crosses to bear---societal, philosophical, mysterious questions that have no short and easy answer. They are shrouded in mystery and they bring us to despair in actuality. But these questions---these crosses---need not be carried by us alone. And, as we hope and pray, these crosses do have some kind of meaning, a mysterious explanation that, though we may never be able to humanly give, our Lord provides us with the courage to place into his life. When our cross becomes unbearable is presicely the time that we can realize that the burden is light---there is a light. But that light has to experience complete darkness---the light has to be beaten and battered, strip to the core of its very existence, for us to realize that that light cannot be burnt out.

When we feel that our crosses---the individual ones we have trouble admitting of and the societal, group crosses that we sometimes can point out, other times take a part in producing---are too heavy for us to walk with, we might want to turn to Jesus at his time of most painful suffering. Hanging on a cross, ready and willing to die, the Gospel attributes these words to Jesus: "Father, into your hands, I commend my Spirit." Our Spirits, though wounded and broken at times---though we can sometimes feel so much pain that we or our world seem or seems to be on the eve of destruction---can always be redeemed by echoing these Words of Christ. That is what we believe.

We believe that in dying Christ restored our life, and in dying to the message of Christ, we can actively live to carry our cross in a way that becomes a burden with a purpose, a burden with meaning.We all sin---but we are all called to be saints. We all Spiritually starve sometimes---but we are all worthy of the Heavenly banquet. We all were there when they crucified our Lord. We were---are---all there when they nail God to the tree. And we are asked to have no fear in hoisting our own crosses alongside Christ. Jesus of Nazareth, person stripped of everything...dripping of blood and tears and sweat and emotion whispers "it is finished."

And then...

We hoist our cross in the same mountainous valley of tears in confidence that the peaceful valley rains down to wash away all that death could not do to Christ. His life is done but he is miraculously undone. We believe that stones can be rolled away. Away and away and away until the heart of what is meant to be revealed is revealed. As we anticipate Easter Sunday, let's consider making this week a Holy, Passionate week where we are made deeply aware of the crosses we can and can't communicate to others, ultimately bringing them to communion with our Lord and with one another at Supper. We gather at table to be made aware that the crosses we bare can be carried by a Resurrected Jesus. "It is finished." But not really.

peace and blessings!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Keep the stone on the Ground...Turn our World Upside Down

2009-04-02T09:30:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Hoping your Thursday brings you peace and solitude.

Reflection:

"I am amazed at the sayings of Jesus...[They] turn the world upside down." This quote, said by Katharine Butler Hathaway, is a wonderful way of explaining how Jesus' shocking statement in today's Gospel (John, chapter 8) might have affected his friends followers and enemies.

Jesus says, regarding Abraham, the father of Israel, that he himself came before Abraham. He says "I AM." This is a divine expression in Ancient Hebrew, a rough translation is essentially God. In saying this, Jesus puts himself with God. Such a statement would have been considered blasphemous and in Jesus' time would have condemned a person to death.

Jesus shatter his little world in a really big way with these words. His Word, his claim that he is not only speaking the word of God as a prophet but that, somehow, someway, he is "I AM," is about as bold as a person could ever get. And yet, Jesus emphasizes that he is no liar. He speaks truth, just as the people who have been listening and following him have been led to believe. Jesus has been a teacher that has transfixed people, uttering words and acting in a way that has made them better understand God. But when he says that he knows God in a way that no one else ever has, that he knows God in the most intimate way possible in the sense that he IS, people have a hard time committing themselves to his message.

Following the law, the people with Jesus pick up stones to throw at him. He should be put to death for what he has said, according to the understood law code.

It may be easy for us to think that we might have actually believed this person Jesus as we imagine ourselves in the story. I might think to myself, "I would never throw a stone at this peaceful, Messianic human. He came to save, how dare I help in throwing his life away?

But, pondering on the story a little more deeply, if we really stop and think about it, we might have very well picked up a stone, thinking and believing that THAT was the proper thing to do in the situation. How many times have I honestly picked up the stone to throw at an innocent person?

I pray that we all have the strength to defy the odds and to let Jesus turn our little world upside down in a really, really big way. Keep the stones on the ground and may our hearts be de-stoned in order to be in union with "I AM."

peace and blessings~

with love,

your friend bob : )

Shamrock Shuffle

2009-03-30T08:52:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Yesterday I completed the Shamrock Shuffle, a run in downtown Chicago that ushers in Spring and finishes St. Patrick's Day celebrations for the city. Well...the weather was cold and snowy and windy. Slush puddles squirted around our feet as us runners pounded our way through the streets of Chicago. But it was a blast! I remember, one woman accidentally bumped into me and apologized for doing so. I turned to her and laughed, saying "don't worry, I'm completely numb right now. You could take an ax to my body and I wouldn't feel a thing!" I thought it was very courteous of her to take the time to apologize for accidentally gently running into me (pun intended). People are awfully nice for the most part during runs...I've found the running culture to be especially positive and upbeat in the races I've run. I think I'll do the Shamrock Shuffle next year...even if the weather is as bad as it was this year!

peace and blessings.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Abba

2009-03-25T10:45:00.006-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Wishing you serenity this Wednesday. It's sunny here in Chicago and even if it isn't sunny where you are, may you find a little sunshine somewhere today. The picture in my post today is of my nephew A.J. and my brother Bill–––father holding son in his arms.

Reflection:

"Abba"–––the name that Jesus used when he referred to God. Abba was the ancient word that Jesus used and taught us to use when addressing God. Reading my Action Prayer Book this morning, I learned that the literal translation of Abba is "Daddy." Here is Jesuit priest Mark Link's take on the use of Abba. "In other words, Jesus taught us to address God the same way he himself did: with the loving trust of a small child calling out to a loving parent."

I think of nights falling asleep to the singing of my Dad, who was "Daddy" then, singing a lullaby called "Daisy." He would sing to me in this quiet, rough around the edges but smooth and soft voice and I would drift to sleep. I hardly remember these moments, but I know from stories and from the faintest of memory that they were real. And I know they put me to sleep to rest in peace until the time I awoke.

Another Jesuit priest, Mark E. Thibodeaux, in his book Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer, writes that the way we approach God in prayer is like a small child in the arms of his or her guardian:

"I must always remember that I can no more approach God than an infant can approach its mother. When that baby sees its mother several feet away, he tries to reach her by stretching out his tiny arms toward her. But it is Mom who goes the distance and makes the connection. In the same way, my human capacity to reach across the great divide between the finite and the infinite is eternally inadequate. But from God's perspective, the gap doesn't exist at all. Like a loving mother, our Mother-God is ever present."

My dad, singing me to sleep, was a nurturer who was present at the time when I was trying to relax and drift into slumber. To think of God and ourselves in this kind of way, as caretaker and small child, allows us to be okay with whatever comes out of our prayer. It is okay to be a child in prayer, to call God "Daddy" or "Mommy." In fact, Jesus himself used the term Abba. He was a child, loving God the father in the only way he knew how. And in this sense, in this kind of relationship, Jesus became Son of God. His example of how to pray and live is so simple that it makes us question our own simplicity. Do we see God as ever present, ready to take care of us at all costs, anytime we call on Abba?

We might not always understand God or prayer or get it right, if you will. But the key is that we try our best to foster an intimate, loving hopeful relationship with Daddy.

Thibodeaux continues: "to reach for God IS to reach God....I should trust that God is present to me ANYTIME I stretch out my feeble little spiritual arms."

peace and blessings and have a wonderful day!

with love,

your friend bob : )

Coming to Believe

2009-03-23T09:14:00.001-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It’s Monday morning, dreary and “seasonal” outside. I suppose this type of weather parallels this season of Lent I continue to journey through with my Christian brothers and sisters. We await a further realization of spring, just like we await the capstone, watershed moment of our faith–––the Resurrection reveal of Easter Sunday.

Before I begin the reflection, I thought I’d share a menial story about a Saturday night walk. I was on the grounds of the major seminary in Milwaukee, St. Francis de Sales, on retreat with fellow college seminarians from my diocese. After a comforting, much needed restful, prayerful Saturday afternoon and dinner; I decided to take a stroll to visit my friend, a priest whose community, the Salvatorians, has a house very near where I was staying.

Here I am, eyes in the sky, breathing in the crisp, cool mid-March air–––content. And then…along comes a mid-sized rodent to ruin the mid-March air. There was a kind of unmistakable scent surrounding this creature. Before taking a whiff, I assumed it was a raccoon (as a kid I was deadly afraid of raccoons–––now I’ve tempered such fear). However, after smelling the sweet fragrance permeating from the animal, I realized it was, as you might have already guessed, a sweet smelling skunk. So I did what any sane (some might not call me fully sane though) person would do–––I ran…as fast as I could. Like little red riding hood speeding away from a big bad wolf, I booked it to my friend’s house.

After I rung the doorbell and found myself actually in a safe place, I breathed a sigh of relief, thanking God that I wouldn’t have to take a tomato bath or whatever else might be needed to expel a skunking incident.

***

Reflection:

There was a royal official whose son was ill. When he heard that Jesus had arrived, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, who was near death. Jesus said to him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” The royal official said to him, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” Jesus said to him “You may go; your son will live.” The man believed what Jesus said to him and left…

The next day, the father found out that the fever left his son at about one in the afternoon. The father realized that just at that time, Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live,” and he and his whole household came to believe.

Selections from the Gospel of John, chapter 4

After reading this story, what struck me initially was the word “believe.” What do I come to believe? How do I come to believe? Can others see that I believe?
Belief is something we do when all reason fails or when even reason can’t explain what we are feeling.

We hear stories about the power of prayer. The ministry of prayer is something that is not just for mystics or for monks or sisters or brothers living in convents secluded from society. Rather, it is an active and engaging ministry that we are all called to take part in. There is something eternal and healing about prayer. I sometimes struggle with the notion that someone would want to live a truly ascetic life–––devoting their entire life to only prayer. I think of monks especially, walking around in their robes, heads bowed, movements slow and selected. However, it is these kinds of people who seem to say with their entire being, their way of life, that belief is more than just a made up word. Belief can indeed point to a real, living idea.

I reflect on my own life as a college seminarian. Why would I want to become a priest, an ordained minister in the Catholic Church? I have had friends–––close friends–––tell me that they see other possibilities for me, other lifestyles that would fit my personality. I am sure that is true–––there are many paths to living a happy, satisfied, joyful life of service to people and to God. But I believe that there is some stake in what ministry in the Catholic church can do–––the power of active and alive prayer–––praying with our hearts and minds and lives.

Day after day, I put my faith in the fact that I come to an altar to worship and give thanks, believing that my actions and the communal dimension of our prayer–––our consumption of Word made body and blood–––brings me to “come to believe” like the Roman official in John’s Gospel today. My sign is not always a healing of a person close to me, a physical healing of sorts¬; rather, my sign is a memory and a passing down of tradition. My hope lies in a message I feel has not–––and cannot–––die. Namely, that God became human person, establishing a new covenant with the entire world in the form of Jesus of Nazareth. Following his ways and believing that by following I can be a light in the places where hope is all but burnt out, I come to believe. Time and again, that belief is challenged–––and that is when I reflect on the sign, not looking for a sign, but believing in the mystery of faith.

Peace and blessings,

With love,

Your friend bob : )

Loving Neighbor, God, and Self

2009-03-20T08:52:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

TGIF!!! I hope, if any of you have a special team you might be following for the NCAA Men’s and Women’s Basketball tournaments, that they are still alive and well, playing for their chance to win it all. Today, I cheer personally for the Marquette and Wisconsin men’s basketball teams as they play in the first round of the NCAA tourney. Go Badgers!!! Go Golden Eagles!!! (I’m from Wisconsin, what do you expect?)

***

Reflection:

Excerpt from today’s Gospel reading:

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart…Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” (Mark, 12:30)

Reading this message, I thought of a friend of mine from high school. He is a few years younger than me and his older sister was in my same class. He was probably one of the kindest people I knew in high school, so sincere and well intentioned. But he was sometimes hard on himself. He didn’t really show it, but he struggled internally. In conversation with his sister, I found out that he suffers from bipolar disorder, which makes it sometimes difficult for him to really love himself the way he deserves to be loved. Several times he been in an incredibly low place, considering taking his own life even. These are serious matters and, thankfully, he is doing better, much more stable the last time I checked in with his sister.

My friend, he loves his neighbor–––his love is apparent, so very transparent. Moreover, he loves God. It shows in his being and I recall that it showed through the warmness of his heart. But the love for the self–––the kind of love that comes easy to many of us, the kind of love sometimes promoted in pop culture, was not an easy thing, and I presume is still difficult for my friend to come by.

There is medication that can help him alleviate some of the mood swings–––the moving from feeling high to feeling low–––but he needs the love and care of his neighbors to help him realize that he is deeply loves, that he deserves to be deeply loved. We are called to be that light for such people, for those who need attention at times in their life when they feel isolated, lonely or depressed. It is in giving that we receive love in return–––and then, we pray that in those times when we ourselves our especially suffering to understand or comprehend our own lives, someone else, in the Spirit of God, can be that person for us. We might come to further realize that God is in our midst–––especially in moments of despair.

God come to our assistance and help us. Neighbor, be a lover and show us the tenderness of a God who is living, breathing, real Love.

Peace and have a blessed weekend!

With love,

Your friend bob : )

Refraining from Passing Judgment

2009-03-19T08:41:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Thursday. It has been one long and tiring week for me here in seminary. But today is a day I look forward to. We celebrate "St. Joseph's Day," in honor of Joseph, the husband of Mary and foster father of Jesus. I look forward to the day because there are several priests from the Milwaukee Archdiocese coming down to visit me (on this feast day our seminary community annually invites priests who have helped guide us along our path of discernment). Amidst the grind of this week, this day, I hope, can bring some kind of soothing consolation to all of us here.

Reflection:

This is taken, yet again, from Action, a prayer book written by Jesuit priest Mark Link. I'm actually going to quote the page verbatim and use it as the reflection for today (pg. 95 in the Action book...not that I should worry about plagarism!) I thought the excerpt worked well as a follow up to a previous posting I wrote regarding trying my best to stop judging other people during Lent. Needless to say, I'm still judging people. But this is a journey...

Jesus was driving out a demon....
The crowds were amazed,
but some of the people said,
"It is Beelzebul, the chief of the demons,
who gives him the power." (Luke Chapt. 11: 14 - 15).

A retired couple was neither well off nor financially strapped. Their hobby was raising chickens and vegetable. Whenever someone came to buy fresh eggs or vegetables, they always charged full market price. They didn't give a penny discount---This caused some people to accuse them of being greedy. Later it was discovered that the retired couple gave all income from their vegetables and eggs to two poor families living nearby.

How prone am I to pass judgment---especially negative judgment---on the actions of other people? How might I improve in this area?

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." (Mother Theresa)

Breathe in Forgiveness

2009-03-17T09:50:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

Today it is sunny and 70 here in Chicago! I hope the weather is well wherever you are. I hope that you are able to enjoy a little bit of the sunshine and warmth today. “Breathe, breathe in the air! Don’t be afraid to care"…a little Pink Floyd quote from Dark Side of the Moon for your mid-morning pleasure.

Reflection:

“Peter came to Jesus and asked,
“Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?”
“No, not seven times,” answered Jesus,
“but seventy times seven.” (Matthew, Chapter 18: 21-22).

Forgiveness is a process. It takes time, energy, our entire being. To forgive is an action that requires patience, endurance, strength, courage, and an entire sense of trust in the healing power of forgiveness. Why else would we forgive someone who has done a terrible thing to us or to a loved one if we don’t believe that that reconciling act will bring about a greater good?

Sometimes, as we all know, forgiveness is an incredibly uphill battle. We feel as if climbing the hill to allowing our hearts to forgive the person or place or group that has wronged us will be just too difficult an ascent to event attempt. But, drawing strength from the experiences where we have forgiven another person, OR from those times when we have been forgiven after a failing, we come to know that it actually IS worth the effort to reconcile hurts.

To forgive, to love, we have to let go of our fear that this whole forgiveness thing is unrealistic–––that there can’t be a kind of redeeming quality about extending the boundaries of our human hearts. To forgive, to truly embark on a journey of forgiveness, I argue, involves undergoing a purification process where we come to realize that we are not alone–––that there is some kind of divine presence working behind the scenes after all, gently persuading us to advance towards ultimate forgiveness. To give forgiveness, we can receive a reconciliation in return that will allow us to expand our friendships, spread goodness and real love to others, and continue to persuade us that indeed there is a God who loves and works side by side, intimately holding our hand when we don’t think we have the courage to go through with it. If we forgive, we walk closer to the light that we are all seeking.

If the gospel message from today encourages you, please consider allowing it to bring you further strength in whatever kind of forgiveness journey you feel called to walk. Whether you have to forgive yourself, another person, a place, a group, a government, an institution–––whatever rock is hardening your heart, toss it aside and rest perched on the rock of God–––unmoving, all-loving, forgiving, gently whispering.

Peace and blessings!

With love,

Your friend bob.

God, Patient with Humanity

2009-03-13T10:36:00.009-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

TGIF! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, spring is lurking. I wish you all the safest and happiest of Friday the 13th's (resist the urge to be superstitious!).

Reflection:

Just a few thoughts. Today's gospel reading, from the later part of Matthew Chapter 21 is a parable about a man who owns a vineyard and leases out some of his land to tenants. When the man sends his servants to the land, the tenants kill them. He sends servants again, and again the tenants kill them. Finally, the man sends his son. Mercilessly, the son is also murdered.
Sounds familiar if you consider the Passion narrative. God sends his son, Jesus of Nazareth, and the people kill the son who is seeking to bring a new, controversial message.

We can also relate Jesus to the servants who were killed and we can in turn relate the servants to Jesus (or the son within the parable). As we know, there are still people killed ruthlessly, for no reason other than who they are or what they believe. We generally label these types of acts of violence, when carried out, hate crimes; someone taking another person's life because they hate them for who they are. One example: People tied to cars to be brought to death through slowly being dragged around on a rope, the killing of an innocent victim. This kind of stuff STILL happens. Only a month ago in New York City, an Ecuadorian man was dragged to death and cursed at. Anti-Hispanic and Anti-gay slurs were yelled at the man while he was tortured.

Martyrdom is not some outdated term used to describe early victims of faith---it continues every day of our lives---maybe not directly affecting us, but affecting our relationship, in some sense, with the body of humanity.

Despite the fact that, over the centuries, we have metaphorically repeated and repeated the killing of Jesus, the crucifixion of someone who peacefully accepted torturous death, God is patient with us. In the parable in today's gospel, God returns, in a sense, to the tenants. God wants to win over the hearts and minds of these people, to forgive them. They kill the son. But God is patient. God still works in their life, waiting for them to come home.

May we be patient, just as our God is patient. May we peacefully accept others and non-violently deal with our differences. When rifts become more than constructive conversation, we run the risk of crucifying Christ again. We can do this in a multitude of ways. But I suspect that if we put our stake in the fact that Christ can redeem and replenish us, that God is really patient with us beyond any of our expectations, then we can hope that non-violence---ultimately Peace and Love---can pave the way for a Christ-centered life full of resurrection and communal possibilities.

Christians continue our Lenten journey. It has been over two weeks since Ash Wednesday. As we move days closer to our celebration of the Resurrection, we fast in preparation for that feast. I hope that this season is preparing you to bring the peace and love of Christ to all. I pray that we may have the courage to be Christ-like with one another, no matter the difficulties or struggles we might face. JUNTOS SOMOS FUERTES! (together we are strong). Communion with one another, community, can move us forward like a ship on its way to the seas beyond the horizon.

Have a splendid weekend!!! Enjoy the warming weather and spending time hopefully with friends and family. God is with you : )

peace and blessings,

with love,

your friend bob.

Conversion, Peace.

2009-03-12T19:36:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

A Prayer for Christian Conversion:

I seek constant, chronic conversion, the path to peace in G~d that brings peace to my neighbors.
Spirit of God, immerse yourself within my soul, reverse my sin and nurse me in desolate times.
Accompany me in my journey to pure, present LOVE.

peace and blessings to all of you,

your friend bob : )

I read the news today...

2009-03-11T08:33:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Today it's sunny but cold. Still, it is a manageable Wednesday. May we have a few minutes in our busy day to take time and know that God is present.

Reflection:

Jesus said, "If one of you wants to be great, he must be the servant of the rest." from Matthew's gospel, chapter 20, verse 26.

Reading this passage this morning got me thinking a little like this...

Picture this: A society where newspapers abound with headlines that read: "Local man donates 8 hours of his weekly time to area Soup Kitchen," or, "Young girl writes letters to troops overseas," or "Retired woman, after husband dies, spends her days praying for those in need and volunteering at nursing home."

These not-so-random acts of kindness happen every day. There are people among us who give their time and effort to just, life-giving causes because they love their neighbor. If we come to find God in all things, all people (or at least strive for such), we can give freely of ourselves to anyone at anytime.

We have to be rebels with a cause, servants of the poor, the poor in spirit and all in need. We have to care for ourselves insofar as we have the strength to, in turn, care for others.

More often than not (and I may be climbing a worn soapbox here), our media sells the story that is the most controversial, most news worthy. What makes news? On occasion, it is the charitable giving of one person to another. For instance, Mother Theresa, in all her giving glory, became a person the media loved because people aspired to be like her and learn how or why she gave and gave. But, using the same woman as an example, it was also newsworthy when the public found out Mother Theresa seriously struggled spiritually---I recall hearing about her recently published journal excerpts that show a person who is not always so sure of herself and her own faith---a person constantly asking questions.

But her questions brought her---rather, called her---to a life of greater service. She became a servant because she found that the way to find true love was to see God in her neighbor. Everyone she helped was a child of God, the face of her Lord.

The media can be a place where stories are published that make us understand the potential good in each and every person on this planet. But more often than not, we read tragic accounts of people gone bad, students turned criminals, husbands turned abusers, daughters turned abandoning mothers.

However, there is hope. There are stories of people who even at an early age feel called to be a servant of sorts for their sisters and brothers. I think of a young girl at All Saints in Milwaukee, the church I spent my summer working and living at. She was 12 years old and she was setting up a fund that would help children in East Africa afford school. Having parents who had moved over to the states only several years ago, she felt compelled to give to her peers who weren't being provided the same educational opportunities as her. Opportunities that, as a person her age, I took for granted. Opportunities that you might have taken for granted as well.

She is being a servant. She deserves to make headline news. Her charity is a sign of hope, a message that there is light in this world. She shines on and her Christian example makes me proud to be striving to be a servant like her.

John Lennon wrote a song called "A Day in the Life." The opening lyric, you might remember, went like this..."I read the news today, oh boy..."

What if we could sing, "I read the news today, what joy!"

There is good news out there. We must search for it and once found proclaim it to the world.
I invite you to seek the Good News and to cultivate how it can move and shake you to be a servant for others.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Mirror, Mirror---Prayer, Prayer

2009-03-10T08:42:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It's a dreary, raining mid-March morning here in Chicago. There is flash flood watches and warnings all across the area and yet, our day trudges forward. We look ahead to coming sunshine and Springy weather (and meanwhile try to find the beauty in this watershed of a rainfall).

Reflection:

The gospel reading today is one of my favorites. (Mathew Chapter 23: 1 - 12). I took out my Daily Roman Missal this morning (it's a book that has all of the collected readings the Catholic Liturgy uses in its yearly cycles and Seasons and whatnot) and noticed I had marked up much of the words in the gospel as I read it last year. In the reading, Jesus tells people to look beyond their outward appearance and pray from the heart, so to speak. He is condemning scribes and pharisees who make sure they look great when they pray but fail to actually act on the words they offer to God.

Jesuit priest Mark Link, in his daily reflection book Action poses a question that stems from the gospel reading. He asks, "Is any of my religious practice done to impress others?"

Reflecting on this, I come to the realization that yes, I do try to impress other people with some of my religious practices. It's natural to seek gratification and acceptance from other people. To conform oneself to teachings and ritual and practice can lead us to want to be a part of the group. But it is not the group that we ultimately seek to please–––we seek to please God in solidarity and service with the group. Together, we come to worship or work or play. Together, we can see the Lord face to face. But if we don't see God in our own unique way, what can we bring to the group that shows we have our own God given gifts to bring to the table? (and we ALL do possess such qualities).

If we don't realize the potential of God within ourselves, we run the risk of measuring ourselves against those around us. We fall into the trap of constantly judging our neighbors---and consequently judging ourselves. If we take the time to judge the prayer life of others, we are in jeopardy of removing some of the sincerity of our own prayer. It is one thing to care for others, to sincerely hope that they may find God in a deep way every day. But this care, this concern, can be cultivated in the form of a positive, optimistic prayer that brings us closer to the One we seek, while, in turn, providing our neighbors with an example of the power of a prayer sincere.

It's not always going to be easy and feel fruitful, this praying thing. And in terms of refraining from judging others, well, that's something we need to work on every day. I can't count the number of times in every day when I am either tempted to judge one of my brothers or when I see a person on the street and immediately jump to conclusions about who they are or what they do. And I think of judging that goes on in a broader sense, the judgments I make regarding politicians, government officials, church leaders, criminals. We judge the saints and the sinners. In a sense, we look in a mirror and realize that our own reflection is not always what we want to see. And so we judge, to try and clarify our own image. However, all that happens is a mirror on the wall lies to us and tells us we are the fairest of them all.

The fairest thing to do is to be like Snow White, to be a servant for others, living life for others and not trying to impress anyone. Prayer can be a tool to bring me closer to my desire to LOVE unceasingly. If I pray unceasingly, there is no room for judgment. There is no need to impress others with our prayer and our way of life when we come to realize that we are ALL called to holiness, all called to be saints. The potential is there. The power is in our ability to come together and realize how to minister using such a power.

We ask for strength in our God, who is Love.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Being steered in the Right Direction by Rev. Robert (in Boston!)

2009-03-04T11:03:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I find myself in the middle of my spring break, in an area totally new and totally exciting for me. I am spending my last day in the Boston area, staying with a friend in a suburb named Scituate, a little south of the actual city. Yesterday, I went to Boston University to talk to some professors regarding a masters program that is of some interest to me. It is a one year intensive study in African American Studies that I have yet to propose to the Milwaukee Archdiocese, but am considering applying to and seeing what the diocese would say about the possibility of me spending a year studying in such a program. Only time will tell.

Anyways...my reflection is about my journey to Brookline, MA, to Boston University.

Reflection:

On the commuter rail toward the city (my friend Agnes had dropped me off and given me some great directions---but I'm bad with directions, so I was still a little uncertain as to how I was actually going to get to Boston U. And then, along comes Reverend Robert. An older man wearing a black full length coat, black trousers and black shoes and wearing a knit cap. He looked very English. I didn't actually know this man was a priest until I went up to him and asked for directions on how to get to Boston U. He was so very friendly, calm and friendly, and then I noticed he was wearing a clergy collar. Huh, I thought to myself. How interesting!

I find out, sitting next to him on the train, that he has been an Episcopal priest for 43 years and that his wife, who recently passed away, had also been a priest! Robert and I had much in common (besides sharing the same first name). We talked about many things, especially church related stuff. I was able to discuss seminary life with a person who has had a similar experience. It turns out that midway through Robert's first year, he had made a telephone cal home telling his mother he didn't think this whole seminary thing was for him. The wised words of a parent convinced him to at least stick it out for the rest of the year. He stayed for much longer of course.

We talked about his career, about where he has served (mainly around the Washington D.C. and Boston area), about his family (he has a daugther), and his brother, like his father was, is also a priest! We talked about the state of the church, briefly about Vatican II, about popes, about his time spent at Boston U. He shared a touching account of how he completed his wife's doctoral paper after she passed away and it was a rather rewarding experience for him that, I'm assuming brought a kind of peace and acceptance of the mourning that comes with losing someone so very near and dear.

I shared with Rev. Robert a little bit about my experience in El Salvador last may, and my upcoming return trip to El Salvador, scheduled for this May. I also shared a bit about my plans to see England and France this summer.

It was a very rewarding talk, to say the least, and I am blessed to have met the reverend and to, above all, have made another friend. His faith and life story were really inspiring to hear about and process, and his guidance (in the immediate future---about how to actually GET to Boston University via the subway) was incredibly helpful. But, his support, his encouragement, his words of wisdom and his presence also brought me a sense of hope for my own future discernment, my future as a seminarian and as a human person. I am happy to share my Christian faith with a friend like the Rev. Robert. May God bless him and continue to work through him.

peace to all of you! Hope you're able to successfully leap over the hump of Wednesday and look ahead to the coming weekend and coming (hopefully) warm weather!

with love,

your friend bob : )

An Offering of Ashes

2009-02-25T09:01:00.004-06:00

Greetings Fellow Network of Love Lovers!

As Christians all around the world begin the Lenten Season, the 40 days leading to a remembrance of the death and resurrection of Jesus, I thought I'd offer a brief reflection.

Reflection:

During the month of March, Pope Benedict has suggested that Catholics as a church try and fast from "judging other people." As a church and world community, this mission is a worthy, moral, just, virtuous (whatever we wish to label it), consideration to seriously strive embark upon.It is wonderful that the Vatican has issued such a statement, request, for this coming month---but this can and really should be a fast we strive to undertake for the rest of our lives. Carrying out this fast from judging others ultimately starts at the grassroots level, what we might consider our most intimate, tangible "church."

We are always critical of others, always holding people accountable for their actions and work. In a sense, this is how the world as we know it operates. We function and spin if and only if all members of society pull their weight, so to speak. To refrain from judging is to say that we understand and accept that sometimes that metaphorical weight becomes too heavy a cross to bear for people during especially difficult periods of their life. Refraining from judging others means that we withdraw from a competitive mind frame into an altered way of thinking and living that attempts to be all-embracing, all-caring, all-reconciling.

We seek to become a community that therefore measures success on the amount of love we are able to produce.If we stop judging our neighbors, people who society or our group might label a "have" or a "have not" even, then we can construct a concrete slab worthy of being part of the foundation of the building up of the kingdom of God here and now.Fasting from judging others is not going to be an easy task. I think how many people I have cast off as an "other," distinct or different or foreign to what I might know or believe. I think of how many labels I have put on people that should remain label-less, simply (and fully) brothers and sisters.I need to love all people and uphold the dignity of all creation if I seek to refrain from judging others. This begins with an understanding of my own need for repenting.

We have to admit to ourselves that there are pieces of our heart that are full of sorrow. There are such pieces of my heart that are in need of cleansing, of a God-loving embrace. I sing, "take it, take another little piece of my heart!" to quote the 1960’s singer Janis Joplin. So maybe Janis was crying out to a lost lover here on earth, a man who had stolen her heart, so to speak. But, this piece of my heart I ask God to take and to make anew, in the image and likeness of a LOVE I know not fully of but wish to fully seek and attain and spread to other people. And when we seek and attain and offer a piece of our heart, we become a piece of new dust that gives back to the earth and to the people of the earth in ways that only LOVE can imagine.

We are all in need of repentance. But, we are all able to obtain resurrection, endless reconciliation.

peace and blessings!

with love,

your friend bob.

Monday Monday --- Help us believe!

2009-02-23T09:13:00.001-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

“Monday, Monday (nah, nah, nah, nah nah)…” Not that I remember the song, but it is one of those classics from the mid-1960s, performed by the good ole’ Mamas and Papas.

Hope your Monday Monday turns out being good to you!

I thought I’d offer a reflection regarding the gospel reading for today, heard in Catholic churches throughout the world. It serves as a great foundation for me to blog (though I am by no means a verse theologian…I’m still wrapping up my philosophy studies!). Nevertheless, I hope the reflection brings you some kind of peace or at least stirs you in some way.

Reflection:

“If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us. Jesus said to him, “’If you can!’ Everything is possible to one who has faith. Then the boy’s father cried out, “I do believe, help my unbelief!” Mark, Chapter 9.

This is an excerpt from an episode in Mark’s gospel where Jesus comes to heal a boy with a mute spirit. The father is understandably shaken, tormented by the physical ailment of his son. He is searching for answers, for solutions, for a cure for his boy. But what he first asks for from Jesus is compassion. Let’s consider that this man has heard about Jesus’ healing ministry and that deep down he yearns for a miracle for his son. Though it is a kind of physical, spiritual, all around cure he probably seeks; it is rather compassion that he asks for. He asks for Jesus to be a passionate person, to come to the aid of his child. The boy whom he has nurtured is in need of healing. Jesus tells the man to be confident, sure in one thing above all else–––faith. Even a faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains–––but are we convinced of that? Are we confident that it is in a total realization of the possibilities of love on earth that our kingdom can come and that the will of God can be done?

The man believes, but he understands that the incredible belief he has in the moment that Jesus stands in front of him might wane and leave him at times. So he cries out, “Help my unbelief!” I imagine a man down and out, scraggly and tired, and possibly even unhealthy or battered himself after spending years worrying, sweating, caring for his child. And yet he believes. He has faith. Despite the adversity that has come his way he believes that anything is possible.

When problems arise, we often limit what we can imagine is possible. When we are told something we don’t want to hear, we feel that our options or are life is somehow compressed. But, for the person who has faith, whatever comes her way is another development in what it means to believe and be helped in times of unbelief.

For the persons, places and things that help us believe–––may they stay near to the possibilities that reveal the saving power within each and every one of us.

“O Lord there is no God like you in heaven above or on earth beneath, keeping covenant and steadfast love for your servants who walk before you will all their heart.” (1 Kings 8:23)

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

The Prayer of Mary and Marianne

2009-02-19T09:06:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Lovers! I had an experience Wednesday night that brought an incredible joy to my heart. It was our yearly African American Celebration here at St. Joe’s Seminary and the choir from St. Felicitas came to sing and worship with us. After mass and dinner, I was talking with several women as they were getting ready to leave, a mother and daughter named Mary and Marianne. It started with a simple thank you from me to Marianne. She had been one of the solo vocalists during the service and I told her that she had a wonderful voice. I really had enjoyed the entire choir and the music and Spirit they brought to our little seminary home. Marianne thanked me, but not with a typical “thank you.” Rather, she began to talk with me about staying the course, about being true to myself, and ultimately walking with Jesus. She said I need to allow Jesus to touch my soul. I was struck by her passion, her gospel message---words of wisdom coming from someone I had just met. The words from her mouth were profound and prophetic. It was as if she had an eye on my very heart and was able to speak a kind of encouragement that I so often need. I felt touched by her friendly ministry toward me. I suppose I could have rejected her message on the spot and thought her to be a bit too pushy or intense for my taste. Sometimes, our hearts aren’t open to someone who is willing to really preach to us in a way that strikes a chord deep inside. However, rather than reject Marianne’s message, I fortunately felt compelled to accept her words at their core: indeed I---we---need to be touched in the right way–––in a sense, I need to be held by the outstretched hands of a loving God. Marianne told me that if I pray intimately to God on my own, to listen to the silent stirring of God in my heart, that I will feel the eternal presence of the creator. She told me I am following in the footsteps of a wonderful teacher–––her mother Mary finished the sentence for her–––the Son of God. Marianne said I need to stay true to the ministry I want to pursue–––and yet, how could she know that these words were going to touch me so? Part of me wants to simply shrug Marianne’s message off and forget about it, to move on and make her just another friendly face. But–––that does not seem like the right thing to do. Her words touched me. Her hand holding spoke volumes, her embrace was a spiritual moment–––a mystical moment in my little world. Marianne is not just another friendly face. For five minutes, she showed me a glimpse of the face of God–––of spirit turned flesh, turned radical reality. Before Marianne and Mary left, I told them to please pray for me. I hope to see them soon in person and I look forward to being with them in prayer. With the way Marianne sung, I can only imagine the way she prays, hears and feels God to be something incredibly divine. She is a part of our beautiful network of love, a network that knows no boundaries. And I think of a song the All Saints Catholic church choir in Milwaukee sings, the church I had the opportunity to work and live at this summer. The lyric I am thinking of goes something like this: “Yes God is real and so I can feel Him deep in my soul.” Marianne–––she helped me for a mystical moment feel God in my soul. I look forward to her prayers of encouragement as I journey on this long and winding road toward priesthood. Peace and blessings to all my friends! With love, Your friend bob : )

Swimming in Love and Fear of God

2009-02-12T19:44:00.012-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

An excerpt from a little spiritual book written by a Jesuit priest named Mark Link inspires today’s reflection. He happens to live at Loyola University in Chicago and I had the opportunity to meet him a few weeks ago! Needless to say, I was deeply honored to meet the person behind some of the spiritual writing I had read on his website www.staygreat.com. Check it out if you have an opportunity.

REFLECTION:

A woman said, “I always had a problem reconciling biblical passages that said ‘fear of God’ was the start of wisdom and passages that said ‘God is love.’ Then one day I read something that helped me immensely. It was this line from Rod McKuen: ‘I love the sea, but it doesn’t make me less afraid of it.’

-From Action, Praying Scripture in a Contemporary Way, Mark Link, S.J.

I’ve struggled with the same sort of thing the above woman describes…reconciling “Love of God” with “Fear of God.” In fact, I’ve wrestled with this concept numerous times. It seems to enter my life at awfully high or low points. When I am even keel, I don’t worry too much about scripture passage that suggest we ought to fear God. However, when I am feeling lonely or insecure, the last thing I want is a God who requires FEAR out of me. I am in enough fear in that state of isolation or loneliness. And when I’m feeling exuberant, on cloud nine so to speak, I could care little about fearing God. Why should I fear anything when I am joyful? In a state of great joy, the only thing I think I have to fear is fear itself!

When I reflect on Rod McKuen’s quote again about loving and fearing the sea, I think of people I know who love bodies of water but can’t swim. They fear the idea of entering into any body of water without a life jacket or water noodle or a loved one to protect them. Some probably are scared to enter the water period! As a child, I was incredibly apprehensive of entering a lake or pool. If pushed too deep…well…I think I envisioned drowning or really freaky horror movies (of the Jaws kind).

The sea, pictures of the sea, simply observing expansive amounts of water collected in that kind of way…it’s a beautiful, beautiful sight. Casting our net over the horizon and breathing in the life-giving image of a never-ending body of water can be a very surreal experience. It’s awe-inspiring and can trigger divine, awesome thoughts.

I, slowly but surely, have learned to actually love swimming. (I’m still a terrible swimmer with poor form and tortoise-like speed). Nevertheless, I really enjoy taking a nice swim. I’m still fairly frightened of being stranded in the ocean in the middle of the night with no boat to save me (I’m thinking of shipwreck movies…The Perfect Storm, Titanic, Poseidon, etc.). Still, I love bodies of water and actually having my body in the water. Bodies of water are so incredibly grand and so incredibly vast in area that they are impossible to fully swim or fully comprehend. No matter how much we might physically know about a sea or how often we swim in the sea, the sea will forever be larger than us.

For sheer power, a kind of lack of comprehension of the sea-at large makes me uncertain or even fearful of the body of water. However, the older I get, the more I appreciate the kind of relationship I have with the sea. It’s still larger, much larger, than I’ll ever be…and yet, I’ve learned that the sea can be one of my closest, dearest companions.

To say I should fear God is not say that I should be scared to try and fail. I think it is to be scared to say I never tried and to admit the magnitude of creation. The Creator is fear insofar as we never want to lose sight of our place in creation and all those people, places and things that share life with us in this place.

If I say I fear God on some level, I am admitting that I fear any limit to love–––a God who is love. I sometimes do indeed fear Love. Who can honestly say they don’t? Love is a beautiful thing, but it is the most powerful bond that we know to exist. In the end, it is a God who is Love who I desire to be united with. I fear anything that does not bring Love to my life. I fear God because I want to Love other people so badly. We fear God as a community because we want God’s love to work within each other so badly. When we are in love with another person, we are sometimes scared that that love will die or somehow fade slowly away. But, if that love points to Love, it is truly a real manifestation of Love as being here on earth in the now always giving without expecting anything in return…that love will become something so amazing to receive, something beyond the space and time that we can conceive. That love will be like staring deeply and intimately into an ocean that you can’t see the end of but can only hope goes on forever and ever beyond that odd line between the sky and the sea. Our horizon is endless when we put our trust in Love.

“Long to see God, fear losing God and find joy in whatever leads to God. Do this, and you’ll find great peace.”

-The words of Teresa of Avila–––a mystic, saint, spiritual writer.

I think Teresa was onto something.

A line of encouragement: go for a metaphorical swim today if you have the opportunity!

Peace and blessings~

With love,

your friend bob.

PS - (The pictures posted are compliments of my friends Rafael and Sylvia, taken in Brazil and El Salvador. I am blessed to have friends who take quality pictures!)

Say it with me... Sixty Degrees in February!

2009-02-10T14:25:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

The weather today makes my trip to Brazil feel dramatically close to home.

To all my friends in the mid-west: rejoice and bask in the glory of this day of dreamy outdoorsy circumstances.

I told a friend today that I feel as if I am Ferris Bueller and it is my day off---I want to spend the whole day outside!

(And that's why my reflection is unusually concise).

Reflection:

I pray you have the opportunity to enjoy the absolutely blessed weather today! May your day be bright.

Here is the translation of Francis of Assisi's 'Canticle of the Sun.' He was a saint who had a most intimate connection with nature and an impressive understanding of humanity's place in time and space---a real green, eco-friendly saint in that sense.

Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord,
All praise is Yours, all glory, honor and blessings.
To you alone, Most High, do they belong;
no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.

We praise You, Lord, for all Your creatures,
especially for Brother Sun,
who is the day through whom You give us light.
And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor,
of You Most High, he bears your likeness.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Moon and the stars,
in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.

We praise You, Lord, for Brothers Wind and Air,
fair and stormy, all weather's moods,
by which You cherish all that You have made.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Water,
so useful, humble, precious and pure.

We praise You, Lord, for Brother Fire,
through whom You light the night.
He is beautiful, playful, robust, and strong.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Earth,
who sustains us
with her fruits, colored flowers, and herbs.

We praise You, Lord, for those who pardon,
for love of You bear sickness and trial.
Blessed are those who endure in peace,
by You Most High, they will be crowned.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Death,
from whom no-one living can escape.
Woe to those who die in their sins!
Blessed are those that She finds doing Your Will.
No second death can do them harm.

We praise and bless You, Lord, and give You thanks,
and serve You in all humility.

To quote George Harrison, "Here comes the sun!"

Wishing you sunshine and peace.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Restless Serenity

2009-02-02T21:58:00.013-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

People of the ancient world would worship deities on top of mountains (Mount Olympus comes to mind). On Mount Sinai, the Israelites received the law that would come to shape an entire people. The heart of Jesus' ministry, the point of his passion, took place on a mountain (Mount Calvary). There is something so metaphorical about climbing a mountain, reaching a summit. It is like running a race, finishing something you started. The mountains in Rio de Janeiro, in which I had an opportunity to witness from above if you will, were breathtaking to say the least. In an earlier blog six weeks ago or so, I posted a poem that was inspired while on top of Sugar Loaf Mountain. I was within range of seeing a city as through the lens of a hawk in the air.

The serenity and the restlessness that I felt on top of the mountain was incredible. These two feelings (serenity and restlessness) would seem to contradict each other. On the contrary, somehow someway, they became two pieces of a complete puzzle of thought. It's serene, divine to be thousands and thousands of feet above where we do a majority of our living. To breathe in clouds and dew, to have air smell and taste different is spectacular. And those of you who have ever stood on top of a mountain (whether it be a famous mountain range like the Rockies, the Alps or the Andes), or a simple hill close to your home, can communicate at an "I'm mesmerized" kind of level, the feeling of awe when in the presence of a mountain. And maybe, if you have ever shared a mountain experience like the one I had in Rio, can relate to the restlessness I mentioned. For some reason, being up in the air, looking down on a city, on water, on clusters of creation, I felt a sense of wanting to capture that image for a lifetime and somehow make a bold, life changing decision on top of the mountain.

Needless to say, I decided to return home after the restless, serene, awesome mountaintop excursion. I didn't by accident get left behind in a beautiful country like Brazil.

But, what I can say is the impact that trip had on me will last a lifetime someway, somehow. And when I am feeling restless here at or near sea level (maybe a little above technically speaking), I have a memory to return to where that restlessness makes sense with a kind of tranquility that nature's beauty allows us to capture and share intimately with our Spirit and the Spirit of those around us. And so, I scattered several pictures from on top of a mountain in Rio de Janeiro (pictures taken by my good friend Rafael) throughout this blog entry.

May your day be restless enough to inspire you to do something seriously serene!

peace to all my friends.

with love,

your friend bob : )

Living Simply

2009-01-29T08:45:00.007-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It's Bob, writing to wish you a therapeutic Thursday (I'm not quite sure what I really mean by that...I just hope that the day is in some way stimulating for you. May you find joy in the day before Friday!).

Reflection:

I'm taking a political philosophy class this semester which I am finding to be rather enjoyable. The readings we are doing are thought provoking; we've read fragments from Milton Friedman's book (taking a look at a rather conservative approach to handling the economy/politics), we've tackled some reading from a thinker named John Rawls (his economic philosophy is considered liberal in our day---more government with more social programs, accepting economic inequality if and only if that inequality can benefit those with the least amount of money (it is a fairly confusing but logical argument once the teacher simplified it for us...I'm still a bit confused by Rawls I must admit), and finally, we've read Brian Barry, an English man (he talks about England a lot...I assume he is British), who focuses his concerns on social justice and creating an equal opportunity society. Though his tone his harsh, condemning and rather angry, his point resounds deep within me; justice equals fairness for all, it equals providing sound education for ALL and healthcare for ALL our sisters and brothers. How we go about offering this justice can surely be debated...but the core of why we ought to or should offer it seems simple enough---do unto others, love your neighbor, demand liberty and justice for all.

So, I've sketched out one of my philosophy classes (yawn, yawn...boring, you might be saying to yourself.) Or, you might be saying, "hey kid, I know these things...been there, done that." Ok, I accept your criticism. But, I think that some themes should be repeated over and over again. A teaching I find eloquent and pressing is the social teaching of the Catholic Church. During Vatican II (mid 1960s), the Catholic Church came out with a new, updated message for where the institution stands on helping the poor: in a word...ALL should be fed, ALL should be given justice, ALL should be given respect, ALL should be allowed their own spiritual identity. What I mean to say is that the human person, in her inherent humanism, should be endowed with all the nurturing and gifts and care that she deserves.

Is this an easy task? Absolutely not. Bringing about what we might call the "kingdom of God" HERE AND NOW is a most difficult endeavor. It will take our lifetime and longer.

I had lunch with a Jesuit friend of mine yesterday who is a self-proclaimed eccentric and not your typical person entering religious life (that is to say, he is a Jesuit, meaning he lives in community with other people who are either priests or brothers and who take vows of poverty, celibacy, obedience, and, technically speaking, a special promise of obedience to the Pope.) My friend is, as he said, probably not your typical "religious" (a term often used to label someone who decides to take such vows within a community or order). So, why do I bring my self-proclaimed eccentric friend into this discussion about my political philosophy class? Well, one thing he said during lunch really stuck with me. I asked him how his first year living in a Jesuit community was (this is called a novitiate year, when a person has not yet taken the vows the religious community or order asks him or her to take). My friend responded that, in some ways, community life was challenging. However, he found that, since his only real task was to simply pray and discern whether or not he felt called to join this active, service oriented community, he felt a kind of neat simpleness or tranquility. He was able to sort of get rid of a bunch of "stuff" that he had been clinging to. He said that before he entered the Jesuits, his life was full of "stuff..." stuff, stuff and more stuff. It made me think about my own life and how much "stuff" I either own or cling to. Material goods dominate our culture here in the United States where so many of us have so much disposable money. I look around my room, as I finish typing this blog, and realize how much "stuff" is in here.
At what point do I say, "enough. I have ENOUGH stuff?" How do I learn to leave "stuff" behind? There are places, goods, sometimes even people that become "stuff" in our lives. When a person is just a good for us, and not a living, breathing realization that Creation is a wonderful thing, then that person has become a "stuff." Maybe we have too much stuff to see that person for what he or she really is. "Stuff" often deprives us of intimacy, or really knowing who we are or who our neighbor is. "Stuff," when it comes to conquer our life, becomes a god that we worship. Where there is only "stuff," there is no room to hear the quiet whispering voice of God or a loved one---a family member or friend who is calling us to leave our stuff behind and cling to what is truly important.

There is a fourth author that I didn't mention before who I am just starting to read for my political philosophy course. His name is E.F. Schumacher, and the title of his book is "Small is Beautiful...Economics as if People Mattered." What Schumacher really calls for is a "metaphysical reconstruction" of our society; that is, an economics and political system that seeks to live in harmony with nature and seek the root of our existence, our relationship with one another. Schumacher converted to Catholicism in the 1970s and was largely influenced and swayed by the social teaching of the Catholic church. It is this teaching that probably most inspired him to take his philosophy in the direction he took it. For his part, he is considered one of the first "green" economists and is sort of a forerunner to much of the green movement of today. Drawing from Schumacher's work, we can look at ourselves and ask the question, "how simple do we live?" To borrow from my Jesuit friend, how much "stuff"---excess stuff---do we have? Do we need all this stuff? Does this stuff help us love others? Or, does stuff get in the way of holding out our hand to a neighbor in need? If we live simply, others can simply live.

Maybe we can live as disciples and apostles with just the clothes on our back (metaphorically speaking I suppose), and trust that the necessary things will be provided. Take only what you need and leave the rest. To reword a famous Gandhi quote, "Be the SIMPLICITY you PREACH." I encourage all of us to try and live simply so others may simply live. And remember, baby steps are perfectly fine...bringing about the kingdom here on this earth, bringing about social justice will take time and ALL of our collaborated efforts. But doing it together, we realize that we are never alone. Being together we have the opportunity to come to the core of our being. May we find God in all things and have the courage to go beyond stuff and into the silence of God-is-with-us.

peace and JUNTOS SOMOS FUERTES! (together, we are strong)

with love,

your friend bob.

Anam Caras Forever

2009-01-25T21:26:00.004-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

This weekend I was able to spend a night back home at my parents house in New Berlin. It was a short but sweet trip---around 24 hours from start to finish including 8 hours of sleep (much needed sleep) Saturday night.

Sometimes I question what all the traveling I have been blessed enough to take part in over the last year has done to the relationships I most value. One of the relationships I sincerely treasure the most is the one between my parents and me. They are the two people in this world responsible for creating me and thereby, in a certain way, they have been two people who have so carefully guided my soul during my life. They have opened my Book of Life and continue to play an active part in bringing plot to the pages in between. And though I know that their books, as well as mine, will come to an end someday, as all stories do (except maybe for the James Bond film series), I am confident that faith will allow me to continue to read their books and thereby share in an Eternal story with both of them---a familial, spiritual, hope-filled blend filled with only the drama of the divine---the drama with a happy ending.

I sometimes think it is kind of strange to write about impending death, and I know many others feel the same way. But death...its the elephant in the room...it's inescapable. But, I think once we embrace that elephant, make it part of our Eternal covenant and plan, we understand the richness and fullness of our present state of being. We belong when we know who we are---and who we are is a group of organic beings working towards a journey filled with winding, unique roads (sometimes easy to climb, sometimes incredibly difficult to ponder). At the end of our journey, we come to the end of our life here on earth. But everything in between, the journey that we come to call "life, can be fully life-giving if we choose to make it that way.

I thank my mom and dad, Rick and Anne Spoerl, from the bottom of my heart, for being two deeply Spiritual people with deep, dear convictions about the power of living life to the fullest. This doesn't mean they don't have their grumpy days (I've seen them, I lived with them for the first 18 years of my life!). What this does mean, however, is that they see a light at the end of the tunnel and are able to shine that light into my young, impressionable, but growing (hopefully) soul. They are two of my nearest and dearest "anam cara" (a Celtic term that essentially means soul friend). My parents are, well, my parents...but they are also my friends. At the age of twenty, ready to take on the world but still not ready to give up a good home cooked meal or a hug from my mom or dad, I can say that my relationship with my parents is at a point nearly void of the terrific tension of the teenage years (I desperately wanted to separate myself from "home" during high school, but still always wanted to have a place to call "home." And despite the fact that I wasn't the sweet little redhead I might have been when I was maybe five or six, my parents still loved me with an all embracing, all forgiving, all healing kind of love that I need during my mid to late teenage years.
My parents have been with me along every step of the way during the last two years since I have been accepted into the college seminary program for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. Since I made the decision to actually enter seminary, I have most definitely needed courageous love from my parents. I have, more often than not, been a kind of metaphorical prodigal son, venting frustrations with them, realizing their ears and hearts and arms were and are always open to hearing, encasing and embracing my innermost turmoils.

I have had friends along the way that have also been anam cara. I have several friends now studying abroad for some time, friends that have been close, compassionate listeners and healers of my soul and mind---one friend a person I have considered one my closes friends since I was six years old! I pray for these friends and I am sad to not have the opportunity to literally be with them for several months. Nevertheless, I realize that, understanding the holistic idea of the anam cara, the soul friend, provides me the comfort to realize these friends, people who I respect, admire, and share my thoughts and joys and struggles with, are still with me in Spirit. It is this realization that brings me the deepest kind of peace that I can ever imagine. And it is this realization that makes me confident that the next time I see these friends, wherever we may be, will be a time of great consolation and sacredness. For when we enter into the possibility of being an anam cara with people, when we entertain the possibility of having soul friends, our souls can expand and we can let in more love than we ever thought imaginable.

The larger our circle of soul friends grow, the less we feel isolated. This takes effort on our part. It begs for an openness and, I feel, a kind of confidence in the workings and unity of the Spirit. If we believe that a Great and Holy Spirit has the possibility of bringing us together with another person or a group of people for a purpose, for making individuals a community for a reason above and beyond what we can possibly conceive, then I think we have the ability to bring our soul together with friends who also will open up their souls to us and thereby give us a glimpse of an Eternal Reality that we patiently await.

My parents have opened up their entire life to me---in raising me, in supporting me in all my activities and endeavors, in loving me unconditionally,even when I am probably impossible to love, they have shown me a glimpse of a light that I choose to run with. It is a kind of decision that takes a lifetime to materialize and an intimate connection with daily life to make possible. But it is in sort of metaphorically running a race, a complete and tiring but deeply promising and rewarding race, that we come to etch out our path every step on the way to light and the Promised Land.
Through their complete generosity and openness to the Spirit, my parents have provided me with a grace filled vision of the light of Jesus Christ, the complete being of our faith tradition. I have faith because they taught me what it meant to have faith. I have hope because they showed me that hope brings us life and happiness. I have motivation because they are motivational people. I have life because of my parents and I am loved and can love because they have shown me love. In this way, they have shown me God. Because of what they have shown me, I want to do my best to show God to others. I want to show other people love, and spread love to this world. I am very fortunate and privileged to have two parents, guardians, absolute givers, who have been their for me...it is the least I can do to now go spread what they have taught me to the people who run the race with me, who I find on my path as I continue on my journey. I want to spread the message of love that I have been given to all those in need. And I pray that by doing that, in time, my own needs will also be fulfilled. I have two role models that have shown me what it means to be "givers." And, we are left with hope in the message of Francis of Assisi "it is in giving that we receive."

May we all "give" more to others, so that we may receive true anam caras in return!

I pray for all my anam caras, all my soul friends, and in a very special way, for my parents. I pray for all those people on our earth in dire search and in constant need of an anam cara. May we all collaborate to bring them this wish...and if it is our calling to be that person, may we answer that call with an open heart.
And I pray in a special way for all those people in my life who I do not consider soul friends. May I have the generosity to enter into a deeper friendship with those who I find challenging to be around.

If any of you would like to learn more about the concept of Anam Cara, I suggest the book Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O'Donohue. It has really moved me over the last few months as I periodically read portions of the book. It seems like reading it slowly is allowing me to take in the deep wisdom of O'Donohue. The book really is worth checking out if you happen to have any free time to read a book of your choice (as a student, I hardly have that time...and if you're a parent or professional reading this blog, you probably have little free time either).

peace and blessings to all.

with love,

your friend bob.

A Nurturing Society

2009-01-22T09:41:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Today, I want to write briefly about one of the most polarizing political, social, cultural, however you want to classify it, topics of our era: abortion. Sometimes, it seems like either you're for or against it. If you say you are pro-choice, then those on the other side label you a baby killer. If you're pro-life, your an inconsiderate, backwards thinking evangelical Christian or something. I hate to sound blunt, but this type of polarization, this black and white ideology seems pervasive in our society---especially in our country.

As a seminarian for the Catholic Church, as much as politics excites me, I am beginning to understand that, although I have a deep seeded interest in the political game, I don't think it is necessarily my place to try and wow people with my own political opinions. In reality, I don't know nearly enough about the complexities of the political system to really throw two cents in that would actually be worth a full two cents. That is, whatever your political beliefs, if you heard me try and seriously defend what I think, I fear that you'd want a bit of a refund.

Also, in this blog, I know that at times I have spoken in a voice that a few might deem too political for someone affiliated with the Catholic Church. I respect the opinion of those who feel that way, but I also feel that there is a time and place to properly fuse religion and politics. Many prominent theologians consider the proclamation of the gospel by Jesus, bringing the Word to flesh, preaching a Kingdom here on Earth to be an intricate connection of religion and politics.

I do believe that, to try and make an environment where all feel truly welcome in the Catholic Church, those people considering some form of ministry within the church (myself included) need to present our opinions and the opinion of the church in a way that always seeks to pastorally care for those who feel cast out of society for whatever reason.

Today, I want to ask all of those members of the Catholic Church to continue to support life by nurturing all life on this earth and thereby bringing the kingdom of God to the here and the now. If we truly help build a society where all feel that an intricate part of a loving community, where the hungry are fed, the weak are made strong, the sinners are shown the beauty of sainthood, the violent ground becomes a fully Holy and sacred place, then life will become not a choice, but a process---and an everlasting process at that.

A most organic way to look at protecting life is to protect life at all stages and under all circumstances. While this includes encouraging young mothers-to-be to give birth to the child of God inside of them and creating communities where they feel nurtured and supported and confident that their child can grow and develop and live a peaceful, love-filled life, it also means working patiently and courageously to stop the institutions and individuals that fall into the trap of considering war the only way out. Moreover, it calls on us as individuals and communities to take care of loved ones suffering and near death, to bring about hope and love in times of trial.

Once we realize that the kingdom of God is intimately at hand, we may come to ponder our existence in a totally new, organic, life-supportive manner. We don't have all the answers, don't know all the truths, don't understand all the wrongs in our world. But what we can do is have faith and pray that this world becomes more sustainable and supporting of all people for all generations. What we can do is live life to the best of our ability, spreading joy and peace and harmony as individuals within collective and compassionate communities.

On a more concrete level today, January 22, 2009, as we look back in history to January 22, 1973 and the Roe vs. Wade decision that has since split our country rather decisively into two factions: pro-life vs. pro-choice, I call on all people to look deep within, find the Spirit moving within your hearts, and ask God to stir your heart and allow you to wrestle with all that this issue means to you and to our entire country. It is not an easy thing to do. I myself find it very, very difficult to talk about abortion in most circles. But, in the end, I think we need to listen to our heart, to have compassion, understanding, faith and hope in the future.

Here is a short, short prayer I wrote for both members of the church and those who do not necessarily affiliate themselves with church. Feel free to agree or oppose my words. Realize that I, like you, am simply seeking to understand more fully. May we all work together to bring about a nurturing, life-giving, life-loving society.

A Prayer to Nurture All Life:

I pray that, through the love and support and prayers of community, all expecting mothers will have the strength and courage to bring a child of God into this world.
Let us pray for all men, that they may have the courage and strength to be fathers to their children.
May we work together to provide a kingdom on earth that nourishes and sustains and values all life.
May our society distribute goods and services to young mothers and fathers that will enable them to raise healthy, loving, spiritual, peaceful children.

I hope that this post did not offend anyone in any way. This is simply my way of struggling with a very difficult issue in our life. I pray for continued wisdom and guidance from the Spirit, for continued Love from God and others, so that I may spread joy to all who come along my path.

peace and blessings to all my friends!

with love,

your friend bob.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday

2009-01-18T21:54:00.004-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Tomorrow we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His vision, his dream: that all are equal, that all deserve equal opportunities, that all deserve to be judged only by the content of their character needs to be continuously illuminated by each and every one of us. His vision is a vision of hope, pure community, faith in the possibility of the realization of the kingdom here on earth.

I am honored to be a Christian and share in the same religion as Dr. King. His motivation seemed to come from the depth of his soul as his prophetic words came straight from the mysterious Spirit he so beautifully tapped into. Dr. King calls us to dream along with him, to share in a vision proclaimed by Jesus of Nazareth. Thy kingdom come! Dr. King's vision, the kingdom on earth, can be realized by each and every one of us if we work as a cooperative.

The above icon portrays Dr. King wearing his jail number, behind bars promoting justice and non-violent change. It is an icon that identifies king as a saint-like figure, a Christian who worked tirelessly to bring about a greater world and who became a martyr for the noble cause. Dr. King's cause, as a campus minister at Loyola suggested, went beyond the core of the Christian message into the core of the human heart and human person. King wanted ALL to be equal. What a beautiful vision indeed!

Here is a link to an article that speculates how Dr. King might see Barack Obama's election to the office of president of the United States. I thought I'd share it on the network.

http://newspapertree.com/opinion/3319-if-rev-martin-luther-king-jr-could-talk-about-obama-and-us

What is YOUR dream? What is MY dream? How are our dreams related? How can we make them part of the same vision---a vision of peace, justice and love?

peace to all my friends!

Have a blessed Martin Luther King Holiday.

with love,

your friend bob.

Tears for Amber

2009-01-16T08:57:00.005-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It is Friday, TGIF! My first week of classes has just about ended, and I am preparing to take a retreat with campus ministry here at Loyola University. The first few weeks back @ college seminary have been fulfilling in many ways. True, I've had some down moments, thinking back of my wonderful time in Brazil, thinking of friends that will be studying abroad for months and that I won't have an opportunity to see for some time. I may even end up sharing some of my struggles in coming blogs, so as to help me cope with anxiety or stress. At a deeper level, maybe sharing what is bothering me might help me to embrace the joys that I have in the now---the moments that touch our heart when we are simply sitting safely nestled in the arms of the Spirit. I hope that whatever I write can help you find some sort of hope or consolation if you are feeling spiritually dry. If my writing makes you feel spiritually dry, then I thoroughly apologize and invite you to send a truckload of SPAM e-mail my way, telling me to wake up and smell the roses, or something along those lines.

Stay warm Chicago, Milwaukee, and all my other friends in the mid-west!

Reflection:

There is a teenage girl at my home parish in Milwaukee who I have known about from a distance for years. Her name is Amber and one of the first things someone notices when they first see her is that she struggles to walk. She uses two large crutches to try and move her frail legs, and her parents often guide her steps and help her move.

I just learned Amber's name Wednesday. My mom was talking about a breakthrough surgery that she had went through that has the potential to strengthen and extend the bones in her legs, thereby making it easier for Amber to walk. One day, doctors hope she will be able to walk sufficiently on her own.

I remember four or five years ago sitting in church and observing Amber walk up to receive bread at communion. Truth be told, I remember one or two times tears coming to the tip of my eyes. I was embarassed to be on the verge of tears in public, but I couldn't help it. Seeing Amber, seeing her struggle to walk, such a young girl with so much life to live but so much physical ailment---it made me want to cry for her. It made me frustrated for her and her condition. In a way, I felt guilty for taking so many things in my own life for granted. In another sense, I was baffled. Why would a girl so young, so innocent, so glowing, be struck with such a fate? I can't help but bring these concerns to God. But where do I go for hope?

Years later, still only knowing Amber from a distance, I have an answer as to where I can go for hope. I can go to the person with the ailment, Amber herself.
The members of a prayer group at Mary Queen of Heaven, my parish in Milwaukee, decided to give Amber a prayer shawl to help comfort her during her operation. It just so happens that she was able to bring a blanket into the operation room during the time of the procedure. Amber chose to be with the shawl, to be a sign of comfort during the procedure.
The early reports from doctors after the procedure are full of good news from what I hear. Amber came to the church prayer group Wednesday morning to meet with the people who had given her the shawl and who had been guiding prayers for Amber to God. The story that the prayer group was meditating on that day was the story of Jesus healing a paralytic in the gospel of Mark. Jesus heals the paralytic first spiritually, telling him his sins are forgiven. Next, to show that the "Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth," Jesus heals the paralytic of his physical ailments. (Mark, chapter 2, verses 1 - 12).

Ironically, this is the same gospel passage I read this morning. I heard it proclaimed during mass after I had read it. I can't help but reflect on it and somehow link it to Amber's story.

Amber said something to the prayer group that touched the heart of my mom, and, I assume, the hearts of all the other members praying for and with Amber. One of the members of the group asked Amber how it felt to sort of be the person in the gospel story they had just read as a group. He asked her, as all the group was probably wondering, how she was able to get through the surgery. Amber apparently looked at the members of the group and said that she wasn't scared during the operation because she knew that Jesus was with her every step of the way.

Miracles aren't very popular in our society---let's face it. We have to have an explanation for everything. And while it is certainly wonderful to explore the reasons behind things and to explain as much as we can about this world and our lives, there are some things that simply can't be explained. I myself am truthfully a skeptic at times. I like to scoff at the idea that miracles are persistent, that angels are working behind moments in our lives to help us along the way, that people can be held of physical or emotional ailments miraculously, seemingly at the hand of God. But then I hear of people like Amber. True, if she is able to walk it is the result of the developments in modern medicine and science. But that breakthrough came from somewhere, somehow. And Amber's Spirit---her complete conviction that the person of Jesus Christ is mysteriously with her along her hopeful journey of physical healing and recovering---that is a modern miracle in and of itself. Her hope, her unflinching faith is a miracle. Her story and her life is inspiring. I consider knowing her, knowing about her, a gift from God---a gift I am grateful for having been given.

I pray for Amber, that she continues to have the strength and courage and tenacity to walk directly and intimately with God.

To conclude, I want to share a well known poem called "Footprints."

One night a girl had a dream. She dreamed seh was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. For each scene, she noticed two sets of footprints in the sane; one belonged to her, and the other to the Lord.

Years later, when the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that many times along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in her life.

This bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it. "God, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Amber seems to comprehend this poem. She has a faith that can move mountains. I pray that in my own life, I might grow to have a faith that can move more than just the keys on this keyboard. I hope my tears for Amber can transition from tears of sadness of frustration to tears of joy and hope. I pray that Amber's miracle of faith becomes a sign of hope and possibility for all of us.

peace and a joyous weekend to all!

with love,

your friend bob : )

In the Bleak Mid-Winter

2009-01-12T10:36:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I'm no meteorologist, but I heard on the news yesterday that the next few days will be some of the coldest days Chicago (and I presume much of the mid-west) has witnessed in years. Yikes! Stay warm my fellow friends here in the chilly mid-west. There is supposedly a blizzard on the way with strong, strong winds. Before I get blown away, I thought I'd post a reflection.

Maybe after the next few days, the weather will improve. My reflection today addresses 'Mary Queen of Heaven,' the church and faith community in West Allis Wisconsin I grew up in. My family attended weekly mass there and I participated in religious education classes there and occasionally volunteered at parish events. Since I have become a seminarian for the Milwaukee Archdiocese, Mary Queen of Heaven has taken on a different meaning for me---it is sort of my 'parent parish' as I journey on towards the possibilities of ordained ministry in the Catholic Church. They support me, guide me and give me a dimension of community. In a way, all of you who read Network of Love, who share comments or simply browse through previous posts, are another dimension of community I greatly appreciate. This writing helps me to try and live a happy, meaningful, fulfilled life trying my best to spread a little joy to others. I hope that the posts in one way or another help you too. Maybe it's a moment where you can pause during a busy day and appreciate the excitement and sometimes naive attempts of a 20 year old to find meaning in life---to find God in the events he takes part in, the people and places he witnesses.

In the reflection, I begin by talking about weather. Sorry, but it's hard to not get the cold off of my mind after spending three weeks in warm Brazil. I commend all of you who endured the Holiday Season at home in the mid-west.

***

Reflection:

Greetings MQH Family!
It’s your seminarian friend Bob Spoerl, saying peace and hello to all of you!

I hope your Christmas Season was filled with love and a redeeming quality in the nativity and baptism of Jesus of Nazareth, our Lord.
It’s January in the mid-west–––a time of the year that is cold, desolate, dark full of a whole lot of nothing but snow and freezing temperatures. Christmas has come and gone, and we have a few months of ordinariness in our church before we begin Lent. I know for me this is a time of the year that I don’t particularly look forward to–––depending on which side of the bed I wake up on, it can very well be a time of the year that I dread. Jack Frost seems to not only nip at my nose, but at my ambition and Spirit at times in the dead of winter. I think of a song my high school jazz choir sung–––“In the Bleak Mid-winter.” It sounded pretty from a musical standpoint, but the lyrics were hardly uplifting.

It is in this time of year that we sometimes struggle to find a purpose or a whole lot of hope in the day-to-day drudgery. Mid-January seems to more often than not be a time when we go through the motions, etching out an existence almost instinctively–––like a bear forced out of hibernation and told to run on a treadmill before eating his porridge.

So, I write to you at this time of year, telling you that, in case you are feeling seasonally down, you are not alone. Many others probably feel the exact same way.

Thankfully, you–––we–––are fortunate to have a community–––a church, a people of God, to collaborate with during this winter grind. We can come together in search of the Spiritual street lamp that lights the cobblestone, icy streets of our hearts. That lamp is the light of Christ for us–––his message, life, death, resurrection, and all the celebration and challenges in between.

I find myself incredibly blessed and fortunate to have the caring, familial support of Mary Queen of Heaven, a people that helped raise me since I was a child. In addition, I rely on fellow seminarians like Stephen and others at St. Joe’s College Seminary to help me look beyond the cold and darkness of this season. Moreover, I am surrounded by a beautiful community of fellow students at Loyola University–––so many of them who are committed to finding a way to make God an always active participant in their lives.

This weekend, I am on retreat with a small group of people from the latter community. To be more precise, I am in Rockford Illinois on retreat with Loyola Campus Ministry preparing to return to El Salvador this May. I will be leading a group of fellow students to that country to learn a little bit about the church, the culture, and the people of El Salvador. We will tour a sight where Jesuits were killed during a civil war in that country as well as a place where missionary sisters where killed. We will also have an opportunity to learn about Oscar Romero, a bishop from that country gunned down by soldiers during the middle of presiding at a mass in a small hospital chapel. Romero, a modern martyr and considered a saint, beloved by the people of El Salvador, was killed because he preached the gospel and refused to remain silent for the poor and suffering in his country.
I am looking forward to returning to once again wrestle internally with the economic and social injustices that plague the country while paradoxically loving the time I spent with the incredibly joyful and communal people of El Salvador. I look forward to encountering the heart of Christianity once again during my stay in Central America.

That same heart of Christianity beats at Mary Queen of Heaven. After traveling and witnessing church elsewhere, I come to find the beautiful, uncanny similarities between worldwide Catholic worship and how our “we” is the universal we of the entire Catholic Church. Communion is communion in all parts of our world. From that communion, people come to build a Christian community. I look forward to seeing you all again soon, to celebrate communion and fellowship with my Mary Queen of Heaven faith community.

Traveling to Brazil, France and El Salvador over the past year has been–––well, it has been absolutely amazing. I wouldn’t trade those experiences in for anything. But, returning to the place where my Christian faith was nurtured and where I developed a deeper understanding of Love–––a place where I continue to witness that Love in my fellow friends in the pews and in the guidance of our pastor and pastoral team of musicians, secretaries, youth and adult ministers and parish council members.

We are all a part of the same community of believers looking for that same light at the end of the tunnel. That light this winter can give us hope and bring our hearts and minds and Spirits out of the cold and into the warmth of Christ’s heart. I remember returning for Thanksgiving and sitting next to a young couple from our community who just recently welcomed a new member into their family. I am talking about Sharon and Dave. I was rather surprised when I noticed a baby carrying crib thing underneath the pew. I thought to myself, wow, I’m kind of out of the loop here at MQH! But then, my heart warmed, my Spirit was filled with joy, and I had a glimpse of Heaven in the thought of welcoming a new member into the community. It gave me that kind of warm feeling, that inner spark of the Spirit. Babies tend to do that!

As I journey on towards the end of my junior year in college as a seminarian for the Milwaukee Archdiocese and a son of Mary Queen of Heaven, I find myself settling in the tender moments of Love I witness both abroad and at my home parish. On this weekend where members of MQH parish consider giving a donation to Steven and I for our schooling and seminary activity, I thank you for giving me tender, Loving, Christ-filled moments. That type of donation is the kind that really counts–––the kind that money can’t buy.

Thank you, God bless, stay warm, and keep all of our brothers and sisters in our parish community and the Milwaukee community at large near and dear to your heart.

Peace and with love,

Your college seminarian friend bob : )

Heart of a chicken, the Heart of Christianity

2009-01-04T09:21:00.004-06:00

Greetings Fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It´s early Sunday afternoon here in Birigui Brazil. I have spent the last few days sharing in wonderful, life-giving fellowship with Rafael and his family and friends. I have laughed to the point of tears (some things about culture and language translation can be extremely funny), I have shared (through the help of the always faithful translator Rafa) in some insightful, spirited, even controversial conversations about the Catholic Church, I have simply sat and pondered, in awe, the way of life and the unique spirituality and flow of the people I am surrounded by on a daily basis. I think of morning conversations with Rafael´s parents at the breakfast table, and our struggle in trying to make sense of what each other is trying to say.

But I dare say it is getting easier. My terrible, terrible Portuguese, infused with a rusty somewhat working knowledge of Spanish, and a tinge of remembering small fragments of French allows me to at least relay minimal concepts when talking with Rafael´s mai e pai (mom and dad). At breakfast, it is usually just the three of us (Rafael sleeps in late). It is at this time in the day when I have tried to stretch my boundaries and get a little Portuguese in. Likewise, Rafael´s parents are able to get in a word or two in English, getting aquainted with a language their son speaks on a day-to-day basis in Chicago.

***

REFLECTION:

Oh, I forgot to mention that I ate the heart of a chicken. On New Years Day night, we had a traditional Brazilian soup with chicken, rice, carrots, oregano, and other delicious, spices. There was also a chicken heart swimming in the broth.

Apparently, chicken heart is considered one of the most choice parts of meat and is rather expensive here. I guess I never really considered eating the heart of a chicken, but I was told by Rafael that it was very tasty, that it is a piece of meat loved by most Brazilian children and, as I said before, that it is a very expensive part of the chicken meat.

You have to try it! Rafael told me. Well, my body was telling me no but my (heart) was telling me yes. (I apologize to all my close vegetarian friends if this post offends you in anyway. Please don´t look at me any differently after reading it!)

So, why did I eat the heart? I suppose I could have said no and no one would have been offended. Maybe it was the glass of wine with dinner that loosened me up a little. But, I´d like to think that I ate the heart to share in a cultural experience that was unique to me. And, I think it brought some joy to the people at the table, to at first see my shock that they ate heart, and then my apathetic face when chewing the meat. I didn´t care for the taste, in all honesty. In fact, as the meat was still in my mouth, I washed it down with a swig of the Chilean wine we had at the table. Everyone laughed.

After I ate the heart, I joked at the table that I had a vision of the chicken´s heart beating in unison with my own heart. I pounded my chest with my fist, thump, thump, thump, and Rafael translated for me. Again, everyone laughed. So I was exaggerating a little bit, but I think it helped to bring some smiles and laughter to the table. The experience was different and new to me, but in the end, I can say that I tried ´coraçon´with a smile on my face, thinking back to the moment at the table, the people, the food, and the conversation that made me enjoy our New Years dinner and helped to make my trip to Birigui, Brazil, my first time in Brazil, an experience I will cherish.

Before eating the chicken´s heart, Rafael and I had a 'heart to heart' conversation with Geraldo and Rosana, Rafael´s cousin and his wife, about the heart of Christianity. We all shared our visions of the church, our joys and struggles with living lives that try to imitate the apostles and disciples of past and present. It is not always easy to live the gospel. I find myself falling often, and I know others do as well. It is part of the human experience to realize that we are not perfect. But, in this realization, we come to realize our desire and need for community. It is in this sharing of hopes, dreams, and struggles, that we come to enter into a Spirit of Guidance and Charity and Love---the Spirit, ultimately of Christianity---the Heart of Christ.

It sounds kind of funny (and maybe a bit distasteful) to compare eating a chicken´s heart to sharing in the heart of Christianity. But, what I am trying to convey is the sense that, to truly try and live a life filled with Hope and Peace and Love, we have to sometimes make sacrifices and do things we don´t always feel like doing. For instance, I didn´t want to eat that heart. However, after I ate it, I realized that it brought the table laughter, and it brought me, in some strange way, closer to the culture I was sharing in. It broke boundaries of what is or isn´t a part of my culture. Culture is something we all share in, though we all, in one way or another, share in different cultures. And though culture gives us an identity, it shouldn´t restrict us from being with people with different ways of living, acting, and thinking.

I am not encouraging people to go seek out the nearest butcher shop and eat a chicken´s heart. If you want to, I warn you it is rather chewy---but it is not that bad really. Here´s what I am encouraging you to do, and you can take my advice or leave it (I am just a 20 year old person with many things to learn): if there is an experience, a place, a group of people or a person you feel compelled to meet or greet or enter into a relationship with because you think it will bring you joy or open up a door you have always wanted to open but never quite had the opportunity, I pray that you have the strength and courage and guidance to go about trying that ´new thing.´ If the new thing is something that is going to bring you joy and, in turn, bring others joy, if it is a good that can be spread somehow someway, if it something that can somehow build up the message of Love in your own unique, heart-felt way, than I say go for it. With the guidance of the Great, Holy Spirit, if it is meant to be, then it really can be so. To have this hope is to believe in things greater, larger, stronger than ourselves. It is to believe in community. It is to believe that we CAN be a universal people.

We can be baptized by the Spirit in the sense that we truly live, breathe, eat the heart of Universal, unwaivering Love.

The hardest part about this is not writing it, but DOING it. I fail everyday to truly act out this way of life, to daily nourish my heart. But in my failings, I find that I somehow need community to supplement my inner struggle.

The people here in Birigui, Rafael´s family and friends, have helped me work with my innermost turmoils and failings to realize that joy exists outside of ourselves in sharing and loving together.

I ate the heart of a chicken here in Birigui. But, more importantly, I have tasted, in my opinion, the heart of Christianity. In a mysterious way, the people I have been with have brought me a sense of belonging and unitedness, while allowing me to realize my own uniqueness and abilities. I fail, yes, but, when I hope, I realize that when I fail, I am provided with an opportunity to go about attempting to soften my heart so that I can present to others as a kind of gift to be shared with sisters and brothers.

peace to all! paz,

with love,

seu amigo bob : )

The Feast of the Holy Family

2008-12-28T06:08:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I write this post after several days of truly enjoying myself here in Birigui, Brazil. I am meeting new people, making new friends, fumbling through little phrases, jumbled sentences, mispronounced words in a foreign but exciting new language. All of this has been tremendously life-giving...the only times that I am feeling kind of down or scared is when I begin to think about the transition back to the states! With the help of God and community, I pray I can re-aquaint myself with Chicago and school, make a temporary home there for my Spring semester.

My continued Christmas greeting and prayers are with all of you and your loved ones. I have been so busy just getting into the flow of things here and wanting to soak in all of this newness, that I haven´t posted in a few days. But this morning, as I woke and decided to take a break from my usual morning run, I figured I´d catch up on a little spiritual reading.

Today is the feast of the Holy Family in the Catholic church. This feast always falls on the Sunday following Christmas. There is a wonderful reflection written by a Jesuit priest named Larry Gillick on Creighton University Ministry´s Daily Reflection page about this day...why the church celebrates it and what it really means to be a Holy Family. I´ll admit, for me the word ´holy´is often intimidating and evokes thoughts of a stale, reserved, firm, but richly devout kind of spirituality or prayer life that centers around tradition and structure and ordinary-ness. I think sometimes of holiness as a straight, narrow path to God that is walked only through rigidness or rock-solid convictions. But Gillick, in his reflection, tries to shed a new kind of light on what holiness is in context of the holy family. He describes his childhood and his memory of family life as holy, but not in a rigid, expected kind of manner. He says his family rarely said prayer before eating (unless a priest was invited for dinner), didn´t begin long car rides with prayer, went to mass, but not always as a tight-knit family unit. It seems that Gillick´s childhood experience of holiness is random, is anything but what some might consider the straight, perfect way to understanding and appreciating God. But he says that his parents obeyed with certainty the Law of Love---he says they seemed to love each other very much. They would always kiss before parting, would cuddle on the couch and make their kids feel awkward through public displays of affection.

This type of love that is kind of random but nevertheless real---a neverending, exciting, but not totally structured kind of love, seems alright in a life that we know not fully how to react or respond to. That is, we are always kind of guessing, or interpreting the mysterious of our faith, our existence, our meaning. To treasure the gift of life without taking our life so seriously might be a way for us to better unlock the unexpected surprises that await us in the future. With the Spirit of a clown, but with the Heart of a saint, we can come to laugh and cry in a most Holy of ways. Here in Brazil, Rafael says there is a kind of saying (I can´t remember the exact wording) that it is always better to laught than to cry about things. Thinking in this positive way, we can bring hope and joy and love to others, and we can allow those same treasures to fill our own hearts.

Here is a prayer for your family (or you can use it for your friends or loved ones or anyone close to you). It is borrowed from the Creighton University Daily Reflection page. Realize that, in whatever family unit you might be living in, you have the opportunity to be holy. Trust in the power of faith to pull you through hard times and to give you joy in moments of gladness. PEACE

God of such faithfulness,we are a big and messy family;both as humans - and in my own family.
Help me today to be especially patient and loving,and to forgive those who have hurt me.
We may not look like "The Holy Family" I see in paintings,yet we are united with Jesus, Mary and Josephbecause in your great love for us you sent your son to live in this world and to share in our human experience.
Sometimes I forget the sacredness of our family lifeand the privilege it is to be together in this bond.
Help me not only love others as you love us,but to be more aware of those families in the worldwho struggle so much with poverty, war and disease.
Help me to pray with and for them todayand to carry an awareness of all families fleeing for safety, longing for the peace you offer to us all.
May the Lord bless us, protect us from all evil and bring us to everlasting life. Amen.

with love to my Network of Love FAMILY,

seu amigo bob.

tchau!

Merry Christmas Eve!

2008-12-24T11:20:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Keeping you posted about my whereabouts in Brazil...I am in Birigui, the city where my friend Rafael grew up and where his mom, dad, grandpa, and many of his closest friends still reside.

Right now, at this very moment, Rafael is holding a chicken (rooster) that his dad bought just a little while ago. Rafael´s grandpa told him that they had to buy a second chicken (a female one) to compliment the constantly coo-cooing male. He still makes his noises in the morning (believe me, I heard it loud and clear!), but he is more satisfied and at peace now that he has his female bird counterpart. As Rafael said this morning, he is kind of having fun with the chickens. It is sort of neat to see chickens hanging out in a small yard in a more residential, populated city.

Birigui is actually considered a very small city (100,000 people). Here in the state of Sao Paulo, that is very small. Last night, we went to a neighboring city Araçatuba to go out for the night with a few of Rafael´s friends. It was amazing! The city was charming, warm, full of people and life. The lights, the sounds, the breeze as we drove around. Rafael said his favorite part about going to the city is driving on the highway at night. I will agree with him that night driving on hot, sweaty summer nights, wind blowing on your face, thoughts drifting to the center of the moment and the wonderful people you are with, is a wonderful way to spend the last few moments before falling asleep.

The rhythm of the day here is really beginning to excite me. I can´t quite explain it, but it´s so unique and new to me. We anticipate the coming night, the cooler weather, when we can go outside and share in fellowship with friends and family. It is only fitting that tonight, we will anticipate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, the baby in a manger that would influence so many people to try and live there lives wrapped up in the swaddling clothes of the moment...wrapped up in a reality that tries to bring peace to a struggling but hope-filled world.

There are moments in life that you can´t quite explain using words---it doesn´t matter who you are or what language you are trying to communicate in---many of the time spent here has been like that for me. I am learning what it means to anticipate life while appreciating what gifts are put in front of us every minute we breathe and try our best to live as people filled with joy.

May joy come to all of you tonight. PEACE ON EARTH and GOODNESS be with ALL PEOPLE.

A Christmas prayer from Henri Nouwen, a spiritual writer, psychiatrist, priest who has, as of late, been a real influence on me. I hope the poem, if you stumble upon this blog in the next few days, brings you joy and a sense of belonging while longing, during a season that can bring us the happiest of feelings mixed, uncomfortably, with some of the saddest of feelings. The Holidays seem to be about extremes...maybe this poem can bring you a leveling sense of peace and meaning during this Season.

A Christmas Prayer - by Henri Nouwen

O Lord, how hard it is to accept your way. You come to me as a small, powerless child born away from home. You live or me as a stranger in your own land. You die for me as a criminal outside the walls of the city, rejected by your own people, misunderstood by your friends, and feeling abandoned by your God.
As I prepare to celebrate your birth, I am trying to feel loved, accepted, and at home in this world, and I am trying to overcome the feelings of alienation and separation which continue to assail me. but I wonder now if my deep sense of homelessness does not bring me closer to you than my occasional feelings of belonging. Where do I truly celebrate your birth: in a cozy home or in an unfamiliar house, among welcoming friends or among unknown strangers, with feelings of well-being or with feelings of loneliness?
I do not have to run away from those experiences that are closest to yours. Just as you do not belong to this world, so I do not belong to this world. Every time I feel this way I have an occasion to be grateful and to embrace you better and taste more fully your JOY and PEACE.
Come, Lord Jesus, and be with me where I feel poorest. I trust that this is the place where you will ind your manger and bring your light. Come, Lord Jesus, Come. AMEN.

(Borrowed from Nouwen´s book The Road to Daybreak)

May we all come to a sense of friendship with loved ones and those we find difficult to spend time with or think about. We long to celebrate birth and life, celebrate the moment, and wish to remember those who struggle in our world.

Peace and Feliz Natal!

with love,

seu ´bawbi´ (that´s how it sounds when people here say my name) - bob : )

Simply Surrendering on Sugar Loaf Mountain

2008-12-22T06:54:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Sad to say that today Rafael and I leave Rio de Janeiro. However, I am very HAPPY to say that that means tomorrow I meet his parents and family and friends---I experience my good friend's hometown. After having welcoming him to spend time with my family over the past two Thanksgivings, I am excited and anxious to now be the "foreigner" (we always joke about him being the "foreigner"). To be a guest is a way to experience life as a true traveler, only anticipating that you will be in the moment, not necessarily knowing what that moments holds in store for you. (I hope you can sort of understand my ramblings.)

I'd like to share a short reflection I wrote yesterday while sitting at a table atop of Sugar Loaf Mountain. We took cable cars up to the top to witness the truly breathtaking panoramic view of Rio de Janeiro. The reflection tries to capture what I felt in the totally peaceful, soothing time in a place where my words can't describe both the natural and developed beauty of where I was...

Reflection:

Simplify. Naturalize. Life is about living and doing and thinking---but it is LIVING that moves us to do and to think. One thing I keep coming back to on top of this mind-blowing view of Rio here on top of Sugar Loaf, is that I am but a spec. How do I move from spec to something special? How do I give myself enough strength without forgetting the wonders of this world? A way I do it is through Christ. Not strictly in some image, or a particular church, or through a particular discipline (though the Christian life encompasses all these things), but in the larger picture; the awe-inspiring, life changing, heart warming, spirit glowing view that God only knows how far up in the sky in Rio de Janeiro stands. This stay in Rio is becoming one giant metaphor, but it's stirring my heart to stretch, think, consider breaking, consider reawakening, and, ultimately---through experience, support, community, LOVE, God, Spirit---to consider simply living.

peace to all my friends!

with love,

seu amigo bob.

tchauo!

Three White Roses on a Beach

2008-12-19T14:32:00.004-06:00

Greetings fellow network of love lovers!

This post is a combination of a saved post from a few days ago and a short update on where I am now (at Rafael´s home with his family!)

Remember Rio---Copacabana Walk

Rio de Janiero---this place is letting me reflect slowly and hopefully about the things deepest and dearest to me. I can´t thank my friend Rafael enough for providing me with a plan and being enough of a friend to say yes to letting me spend winter break with him in his home country. He is a gift from God---a gift I am truly grateful for having been given.

I never expected I would find myself at any age, let alone as a 20 year old, spending three weeks in Brazil. What I knew about Brazil before coming here was that Sao Paulo was a really, really big city (around 16 million ppl. and growing) and that Rio was a place with a beautiful beach. Well, both of these pre-conceptions have been verified---but Rio, Rio has been more in one day than I ever imagined it could be.

I know I am being melodramatic. And I apologize. But it is SO difficult not to be caught up in this whimsical moment, this time of intense de-stressing, de-studying, de-LIVEry from anxieties and the struggles we all face. Oh the struggles are there---I am a human...struggles are a part of our core. However, the struggles are being faced in positive and creative, thoughtful ways. I am reflecting on the past semester, the past year, the past few years, my whole life in a sense. It´s difficult not to in a place like Rio de Janiero, on Copacabana Beach.

One thing that hit me as Rafael walked down the beach searching for seashells to collect for taking home (as if we were little boys all over again) was the sight of three white roses laying comfortably and peacefully near the moving waters of the ocean. What did they signify? Who left them there? Why were they still there?

Now that that moment has come and passed, I find myself still able to create a picture of the three white roses. At a basic level, when I think of a white rose, I think of purity, freedom, resurrection, redemption (Rio de Janiero is the place where the Christ the Redeemer statue stands on top of a massive mountain!). I think of weddings, baptisms, life, love. I think of a white flag, surrendering to war, giving in to peace. I think of creation, of beginnings, of the sun, of the moon, of the stars---all of these things and so much more.

And then thre is the image of the rose---of course, a flower of immense beauty. A flower used to say Í do´ or ´I still do´or ´thank you´ or ´you mean so much to me.´ We use roses for all types of celebrations---we use roses to express how intimate we want to feel at some of the most delicate moments of our lives---moments of complete surrender to life and death really.

So these snow white roses on the beach in Rio de Janiero, what I take from them is much. I don´t think I can find a perect explanation for why there were there or why my eyes met them in the sand on Copacabana beach. But what I do know is those roses symbolize the beauty and peace I am feeling in Brazil.

---

Rafael and I have just arrived in his parents home! I was greeted by a ´how are you´ from his father Angelo (I tried to stumble through a how are things in Portuguese), a warm hello from his mother Rosa, turning my lips to the left of her cheek to give the traditional Brazilian, Sao Paulo greeting of a hug and a kiss. (In Rio, there is actually two kisses, one on each side of the cheek, like in France). And then, of course, there was the third person in the house, Rafael´s comical grandpa sporting two different types of shoes, one sock, white khaki shorts. And to ward off the very warm weather in Birigui, Rafael´s hometown, Rafael´s grandpa Cuca comfortably walked around shirtless. He made me laugh and Rafael says he makes the entire family laugh. He complains and stretches stories in a light-hearted kind of way to get family and friends to laugh. Cuca´s room decorated with religious artifacts and a picture of his grandson nestled near his bedside, seems to tell the real tales inside the man´s heart. He seems like an awfully sweet old man.

More about Birigui a littler later. I hope to keep everyone updated and I keep all of you in my prayers during the holidays.

Christmas Eve wishes to all planning to celebrate. Feliz Natal! I wish everyone continued blessings during this winter and holiday season.

Until the next post...Bom dia!

I thank all of you who encourage me to continue blogging. Your kind words warm my heart even more than the beautiful warm weather here in Brazil! Hopefully some of this warmth can be transferred to the midwest, where all of you have seen some pretty snowy weather. In my dreams, I will think of a white Christmas! haha.

~peace~

with love,

seu amigo bob : )

From Rio to You! Bom Dia!!!

2008-12-19T06:41:00.001-06:00

Greetings from Rio de Janiero to my fellow network of love lovers,

A brief, brief update from Brazil...

Rafael and I are having a wonderful time! I am so intrigued and transfixed with Brazil and the people, the natural beauty, the flavors, the vibe, etc.

Wow...I can´t wait to see what else our trip has in store for us.

Some highlights thus far:

-Walking around Sao Paulo, drinking a coffee at a STARBUCKS in Sao Paulo - very Brazilian right?
The Starbucks had a quote on the wall that included God as a part of your goals in your life...ha...God and Starbucks. God probably drinks Starbucks? Maybe a vanilla latte?

-Staying in an INCREDIBLE apartment in downtown Sao Paulo with Fernanda, Rafael´s friend who had studied in Chicago for several years (pictures when I return)

-Spending a night at la Catedral do Chopp (Cathedral of the Chopp---a Chopp is a very special, very smooth beer poured exclusively at that particular restaurant Campinas---we were in a restuarant that was meant to pour this kind of beer. Now we´re talking, huh dad? haha
Also, at the place, we grilled our own steak. That is, Geraldo, Rafael´s cousin (he´s about 45 and has a family...he´s more like an uncle to Rafael) grilled our steaks and then would periodically fill our plate with a petite and delicious filet. As you all know, I am not a red meat kind of person. But this beef was absolutely delicious. The entire evening was incredible. I struggled to communicate, but Rafael, the faithful translator between English and Portuguese, helped all of us out. He was the bridge that brought together two languages and helped us all have such a wonderful evening.

More to come in the coming days. Feel free to send this to anyone who might have any interest in reading about what two young college seminarians are doing in Brazil (one a native Brazilian, the other a redheaded foreigner).

Until the next e-mail...Tchau!

paz,

seu amigo bob.

Anticipation that Leads to Participation

2008-12-13T14:52:00.001-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

I want to share with you a Christmas reflection. Exams are done, meaning I hopefully have just enough time to write some Season filled words before leaving for Brazil to spend the Season with my friend Rafael and his loved ones. I hope this reflection finds you and your loved ones in Joyous Spirits anticipating and realizing the Love around you. Thank you for your continued support, generosity and prayers. This reflection is a small gift from me to the network of love community to say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. ~ PEACE ON EARTH ~

Reflection:
When I think of Christmas, I think of family, friends, food, festivities–––people and ways to bring us together in a Spirit of Love. Our five senses allow us to capture the essence of the promise of Christmas. The taste of eggnog, the smell of a fresh Christmas tree (though many of us use artificial trees…it’s easier to maintain…I understand), the sight of an uncle, aunt or cousin we haven’t seen in months, maybe even since last Christmas. We embrace loved ones as they enter our homes, we hold those dearest to us on Christmas Eve night, and we see sights that make our imaginations jump: lights painting neighbor’s yards, newborns and young ones growing seemingly in front of our very eyes. Tis’ the season to be jolly; that’s what we are told to be and how we are told to be–––we hear it trumpeted through the airwaves (93.9 and 105.9 here in Chicago play Holiday music non-stop), we watch it on our televisions in the form of Christmas specials and images of Winter wonderlands in T.V. land, and recognize it in advertisements and almost everywhere we shop. Our workplace or our schools throw a holiday party before Christmas break, and we find ourselves rushing to get presents for loved ones to keep the season jolly, to give gifts that show we care.

This is all wonderful; it shows the sense of hope that comes with the Season of Christmas. But, I propose (like countless others before me), that the Spirit we shine during the season, the Love we foster during this most giving season, becomes a Spirit that consumes our being even after the music has stopped, the trees have shed all their pines (or if it’s artificial, the tree has been shoved back into the attic where it hibernates for ten months), and the eggnog (or any other of your choice Holiday drinks) pours no more. The surprise of a rapidly growing young one in our family can spark a desire for us to metaphorically grow in action and word with the child physically growing in our midst. Now, during this season of anticipation, is the time to anticipate how we plan to re-energize our Spirits for another year of communal and neighborly living. No matter where we live, the people we meet, the jobs we work or the schools we attend, we all have the potential to lay claim to an anticipation that will lead us to greater participation.

Our life is full of anticipation. After I take a morning run, I anticipate the coming meal that will replenish my body for the day ahead (I also anticipate, like many others, the morning cup of coffee that will help me complete the tasks of the day!). As a person who believes in prayer and community, I anticipate the times of the day where I can join with a group, whether it be with fellow seminarians at my college, with small prayer groups on the campus of Loyola, with friends at All Saints Church in Milwaukee singing and clapping to give thanks and praise God while entering into fellowship, friendship, and, above all, Love. I also value the times in my day alone spent pondering, reflecting, reading a good book, running or simply taking a walk. These silent times are difficult to come by and even more challenging to appreciate when I am busy with schoolwork and other commitments. Stress enters life, forcing me to try and find creative or beneficial ways to slowly show such a hindrance the way to the exit. Prayer and community and alone time–––a health mix of solidarity and solitude–––are amazing stress relievers. But it is a constant struggle, and, even when I think I am fully alive in the moment, content and at peace, I feel as if there is a kind of anticipation nudging me.

I think this anticipation, this restlessness, as many spiritual writers have referred to it, can be of great value to our lives and our desire to grow as a strong person holistically. When I anticipate something that is going to bring great fruits to others and myself, my anticipation is for something with possibility. For instance, as a Christian, I anticipate Christmas Day in the form of Advent. In the four weeks before December 25, we take time to prepare our homes, minds and hearts for what is to come. The birth of Jesus is like any other birthday celebration in that we honor and thank the Creator for the gift of life made real through the womb of a woman. But the birth of Jesus becomes different than any other birth before if we believe that through the life of Jesus, God becomes fully present in a radical, life-giving, sin-taking way. The gift of life to which the Christian anticipates during the season of Advent helps prepare him or her to be individual with constant potential–––a potential that is fully unique, fully divine.

When we look at the world through the eyes of an anticipator, one who is in the present, but always longing, we understand there is a kind of restlessness or stirring within ourselves. This stirring, when understood and appreciated to be some kind of stirring of a Great Spirit that is infinitely larger than us but, incredibly enough, present and powerful in us, can bring us to a form of anticipation that touches the Divine in unbelievable ways.

I think of the good works of so many faith-filled people who struggled with but ultimately listened to the Spirit within. I think of people like Mother Theresa, Dorothy Day and Oscar Romero–––three people who walked with the poor and, by doing so, influenced countless others to do the same–––to realize that the Spirit of Charity can work through each and every one of us.

I think of the love pastors like Martin Luther King Jr. and Henri Nouwen had for the people they ministered to–––Dr. King and his work for African Americans and all people to usher in truthful Civil Rights laws, and Fr. Henri Nouwen and his constant love and devotion to mentally handicapped individuals at L’Arche community. Both of these men were prophets in pen, peacemakers in person. As believers in the Spirit, they brought justice, hospitality and peace to people whose voices were–––and still are–––often quiet whispers in the world.

I think of people I know and have known who show me the power of the Spirit. Friends that have been there along my journey, pastors, parish and community members and religious leaders that have helped me grow in faith, and a family that has shown me a Love starting at the moment of my own anticipation, my moment of conception, that continues forward in a kind of anticipation that leads to active participation. In raising me, my parents have been guides to beginning a journey to the Heart of the World. For the Heart that my mother and father have given me–––for their love and support at all times, I truly thank them. They have helped prepare me to anticipate times when I will struggle and witness a struggling community and world.

And our community and world struggles. We face challenges and seek solace and reconciliation in so many complicated ways. To write only about happiness and the Spirit of Love would be to disregard the fact that there is always more work. “The laborers are few,” Jesus says in the gospel, “but the harvest is plentiful.” In this season of anticipation, I encourage all of us to look into our own heart and challenge ourselves and our loved ones to try and consider a way we can personally be an active, fluid participant in this world. How will we go about bringing a Kingdom here on earth, that is, a place where all are truly welcome and where peace and harmony remain a realized reality? We need more leaders, more communities that Love because they Love to Love. We need people who constantly anticipate how it is they are called to participate in the shifting tone of society. We need believers in a Spirit that resounds within them and that calls them to achieve wonderful things. There is a will in each and every one of us; there is a way in each and every one of us. Where there is a will there is a way.

In small ways, in everyday ways, we can show others how much we care about them and how much Love we receive from them. These ways are the most critical ways to anticipate your own participation in the world, for it is only by understanding how to bring about Love on a small scale that we will come to realize the potential of an entire Community of Love, an entire world of Love–––a world in Spirit that comes to realize the workings of the Great Spirit within, the Spirit that calls us to service, to giving, to Love. It is in the anticipation of this Spirit that Christians say, “Come Lord Jesus, send us your Spirit and Renew the Face of the Earth!” Before even having a Teacher like Jesus, a person to show us God in human form, he needed to be born. Jesus, as true person, dwelt in the womb of Mary, his mother, for the months before breathing on his own on this earth. However, Mary carried a special secret within her womb, a secret that God really can breathe in our midst every single moment of our life. It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that us Christians come to believe Jesus really did become Word made flesh in a fourteen-year old girl. It is with faith, with an understanding that much of this life is truly a beautiful mystery that we come to believe the nativity story. And thus we anticipate a birth that allows us to actively participate in the world we live in. Live the paradox! Anticipate but always create–––create relationships that will lead you and others closer to the center of the Spirit of Love.

“For unto us a child is born.
Unto us a son is given
And his name shall be called
Wonderful! Counselor…Prince of Peace.”
-Isaiah, prophet

~Wishing you Peace in this Season~
with love,

your friend bob.

Taking the Plunge

2008-12-07T11:47:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

As my friends and I here at Loyola University Chicago enter into a week of gruesome exams, late night study shindigs, too much caffeine drinking, too little sleeping, I thought I'd share a reflection with you about a "plunge" I took this past weekend.

Thursday night, my friend Elena brought it to my attention that there was going to be a group jump into Lake Michigan in a few days. She asked if I would be willing to make a small donation to the cause, and I said that I'd be willing to jump right in the lake with the group of plungers! (It was a "Spoerl" of the moment decision you might say). The group on campus that my icy money would go towards is called Invisible Conflicts. Elena told me they help with the education of children; it sounded like something worth a few minutes of frozen time.

On Saturday, I ventured over to meet and greet other plungers at an event hosted by Invisible Conflicts. It was 20 degrees F, blistering winds, and, well...needless to say I was cold. I was actually a little nervous...fairly nervous actually. I told some of the people at the event that I was more nervous to take this plunge than I had been before starting the 26 mile Chicago Marathon run! At least the weather was warm that day.

However, when we actually prepared to march out of the Crown Center and over to the beach a few blocks away, my adrenaline took over. Standing next to my friend Monica and a young Jesuit priest from Uganda who was going to take the plunge with me (I thought both of them were crazy; each had grown up in a climate far more comfortable than this mid-western winter mess), I walked and talked my way through any remaining anxiety. Turns out the priest from Uganda and my friend from California were far more relaxed than I was.
As I had come to learn a little bit more about Invisible Conflicts, I realized what I was jumping in freezing water for was something really worthwhile. If you go to Invisible Conflicts website, http://www.invisibleconflicts.org/ , you can browse through all the organization has done and continues to do for people struggling in areas where conflict makes it very difficult to live.

The mission of the organization puts it better than any summary I could try to provide:

We recognize that the world is full of invisible conflicts ignored by mainstream media and governments. We enable the victims of these conflicts to tell their stories, and we establish real and personal relationships between communities of power and privilege and those of poverty and oppression. Through the mutual exchange of values and knowledge, we find practical ways to help one another, and transform communities in conflict regions as well as our own. Committed to cultural relevance and positivity, we encourage everyday people to take action by giving them simple and concrete ways to make a difference. By taking action ourselves, we lead the way for our peers.
(-from Invisible Conflicts website).

S,o what are some concrete ways Invisible Conflicts has help transform communities in conflict? Well, they have, with the help of their members and in association with an organization from Uganda, provided the financial support for over 100 children in war torn northern Uganda to attend school, and tell their story through arts and learning. 21 children that Invisible Conflicts has been able to foster a personal relationship with have seen war firsthand and have experienced suffering that many of us here in the U.S. would have difficulty imagining.

An Ugandan woman now living in Chicago had nothing but praise for Invisible Conflicts (IC). She spoke in front of us plungers (and plunger supporters...my good friend Stephen, a fellow Milwaukee seminarian who grew up in Kenya, denied my several pleas that he also jump in), telling the group how very important the work of organization like IC is for people in struggling communities. It was her personal philosophy that through providing education for the children in areas in conflict, these areas can be transformed into beacons of hope. It was only when people gain knowledge, she insisted, that injustices might someday be erased.

Taking the plunge was easier than I expected. The rush of coldness hit my body hard, but it was a kind of exhilarating moment that is difficult to explain. Wading in the water for a few seconds, I looked for a friend to share the experience with. My body was numbing, but my spirit almost felt on fire. It was an amazing feeling! I spotted my friend Cory, running in the water a few feet away from me. "Cory!" I called out. We laughed...I met him only a few weeks ago while in Georgia at a vigil/protest event with campus ministry. When I asked Cory about going underwater, he said he done it last year. It was a crazy thought, but...I was already knee deep in near ice. When else was I going to realistically find myself in Lake Michigan in December in my skivvies?

"Cory, let's go under!" I called out. It didn't take any convincing for him. We both went under, and then I gave him a kind of brotherly embrace, bear hug kind of thing. A very touching moment. We ran back to dry, freezing land, surrounded by dozens of other extreme-freezers.

My entire body was numb...I think of the title of a 1960's book called "Soul on Ice." Wow, it was cold! As the wind whipped my body, I turned and laughed as Cory came towards me. Smiling, Cory said to me, "I felt like you were baptizing me in that water!" I couldn't help but smile. We had taken a plunge, had helped raise money for a worthy cause, and had had a really fun (freezing fun) time in the process. I came up to my friend Lauren, a thin freshman girl, hair in icicle form, towel wrapped around her like another layer of skin, and hugged her, smiling in the process. "Wasn't it fun? You're probably freezing!," I think I said, though I don't quite remember. My brain was about as numb as my feet, which felt like Captain Hook pegs in snowshoes. Finally, the cold was starting to get to me. I ran back to the Crown Center, still overjoyed, still freezing, but entirely warm in the Spirit of Community and hope that surrounded me. We were a group of people helping to in small and large ways helping to overcome invisible conflicts in our world–––and in entering into a struggle, we were entering into a Community of believers.

In a way, our plunge did kind of baptize us. Symbolically, we washed in the waters of hope that change can come about when people come together from all walks of life. To plunge is to not worry about what lies ahead...to simply go for it. When we plunge towards goodness, we plunge towards the Spirit of Charity.

I am honored to have been a part of the "IC Plunge" on Saturday afternoon. The people involved in that organization are people who want to bring charity to the world. These people are learning that it is in giving that we receive. I pray that I can learn alongside of them and that all of us, as we plunge towards the Holiday Season, plunge toward fellowship with family and friends, that we might come to share in the gift of receiving the fruits from that for which we had given ourselves to.

As a Christian, I anticipate December 25 as the birth of Jesus of Nazareth as a day where my tradition comes to celebrate in the hope of a person fully human and fully divine, a person that brings hope to all generations, all people.

Whatever is your tradition, I invite you to plunge into the coming days invigorated and energized, ready to bring about hope to a world that needs joy filled individuals creating the bonds that bring about joy filled communities.

with peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

Picture a road

2008-12-04T18:35:00.013-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Picture a Road:

A road is an open doar to an endless abyss. It takes us where we want when we want, but we are always subject to its twists and turns, its signs, its rules. Roads are paradoxical. They have limits, but they don't. They are off in the horizon but they are right under are feet. We travel on roads to get moving, but it is at that metaphorical fork in the road where we find ourselves frozen, discerning which way way to go. So maybe, just maybe, picture a road.

peace and with love,

your friend bob.

Peace Within, Peace Without

2008-12-01T11:41:00.004-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It's hard to believe we have come to the first of December! The snow covering just about everything outside makes it somewhat more believable and the pending papers due in a few days make me realize that indeed I am coming to the end of a semester, the beginning of December.

In the liturgical cycle of the Catholic Church, a New Year begun yesterday. We anticipate the birth of Jesus...the season is Advent, a time of waiting, anticipating, hoping for a change, praying for a miracle.

This past weekend, I received plenty of mini-miracles. Just being back at the place I grew up, the city I was born, Milwaukee, WI, led me to people I have not seen in months and led me to a feeling of peace and hope I rarely am accustomed to during moments of life---the end of a semester---that should be so very hectic and unsettling.

Rarely am I one to quote Psalms. But today, I feel moved to do just that. This morning, while reading through the daily readings of the Catholic church, I was struck by a particular line in Psalm 122:
"Because of my relatives and friends
I will say, "Peace be within you!"
Because of the house of the Lord, our God
I will pray for your good."

This weekend made me want to pray for the good of all the sisters and brothers that have touched me in a particular way, that have made me reflect on my own existence and own path. Returning to Milwaukee for Thanksgiving weekend made me especially aware of those friends and family that have been there for years as sources of wisdom, of knowledge, of love.

A concrete example: my friend Libby. I hadn't seen Libby months until our paths crossed this past weekend. She had been a good friend of mind during high school, a friend I occasionally went running with. As some of you might already know from previous postings, I really enjoy running and I especially appreciate the bond that can be formed when someone is willing to share a run and conversation with you...even if the tiredness of the run limits our ability to carry on a normal conversation. I remember one time, while on a run with Libby had had enough running. We were running past a farm field filled with grazing cows, and I recall Libby shouting in an aggressive, but not un-friendly manner, that walking would be a great idea. It was probably my fault for constantly asking her questions on the run, gabbing away and expecting a person to not get tired!!!).
At a party on Friday night at a friend's apartment in Milwaukee, Libby told me with great happiness that she had switched her major from advertising to art education. She had never really settled into advertising...it was like a size seven foot trying to snug into a size six shoe---manageable but uncomfortable. But now, she was doing something she seemed really proud of. When she first started school, she said she was worried about money. Now, she said she didn't care about that. For her, there was something else she desired besides money. All the money in the world couldn't give her the comfort of knowing that where you are at is a place you feel contend and called to be. She seems to have found peace in this moment of her life. She is fulfilled in her choice of major and possible career path. I pray for her because I think she has the potential to positively touch the lives of many kids through something as wonderful and inspiring as the arts. "Peace be within you Libby!"

"Because of my relatives and friends...I will pray for your good."

This week, I want to continue to reflect on this Psalm. It seems like a practical fit for this season...we are anticipating continued time with friends and family, the holidays, the joy that comes with being in community. We are anticipating winter. We are anticipating continued love. We are hoping for change in our local communities and in the world at large.

I ask you to reflect on your relatives and friends...how they help to bring peace within yourself, and how that peace within yourself makes you feel called to work towards creative ways to bring good to the world around you.

In this season of anticipation, may we find peace within and without. May we bring good to a world that needs to reminded that God is good...all the time.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

SOA Vigil - Remembering Martyrs

2008-11-25T09:18:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Hope your Tuesday is starting off terrific. If not, then I hope it gets better! May this time find you anticipating spending time with friends and family. May this time also help us to reflect on the ways we can be in close connection with the poor and the powerless---Thanksgiving time is a time to give thanks and to understand that because we have the ability to give thanks puts a responsibility on us to spread joy to all of our sisters and brothers.

Reflection:

This weekend, I had an opportunity to go to Columbus, Georgia with a group of fellow Loyola students to protest the School of the Americas and to remember victims of military crimes and government oppression in Latin America. Gathered together in union with 20,000 people, many students from other Jesuit Universities and colleges from around this nation, still others from various parts of the world, all with different backgrounds, stories, perspectives, reasons for feeling called to participate in the event. However, the goal was a universal one among the thousands gathered: to non-violently protest an institution in the U.S. that has trained soldiers who have returned to their home countries and used tactics learned in the School of the Americas (SOA) to kill their own people. The deaths are in the millions in some countries–––it is believed that the SOA has trained soldiers that in one way or another have contributed to the death of some 2 million Columbians since the 1970s.

What brought me back to the SOA was my experience in El Salvador this past summer. The group I went with had an opportunity to visit El Mozote, a village in northern Morazon, a region in El Salvador where soldiers trained in the SOA killed some 800 innocent villagers in what can only be considered a massacre. Many of the victims included children---some under one year old, some just born. Other victims were women and men from the village, people who had a relatively moderate stance on the Civil War taking place in that country. This event didn't receive a ton of media coverage really until years after the fact. Miraculously, someone who escaped the mass murders and hid in a tree, hid for days, was able to relate some of what she saw, the atrocities, the slaying she witnessed with her own eyes.

At the SOA vigil this weekend, held at the gates of Ft. Benning, the military facility that houses the School of the Americas, there was an artistic representation of the El Mozote massacre. Clothes lay sprawled out on the ground, names and ages of victims of the massacre pinned to the clothes. When I passed several victims age 20, I froze and couldn't do anything but take a picture. It was the only way I could pray at the time...to try and remember the martyr through a picture of a representation. A distant, distant way to remember something I have no first account knowledge of---but nevertheless, my way to make a small contribution to the idea and hope that we are all connected---that these deaths help us to live and to work for a better world both near and far from our own communities.

I froze by the clothes and name of a 56 year old man. I thought about my own father---how good he has been to me and how much I have to be grateful for. I took a picture, in a way I prayed.

I froze at the name of a two year old child. This one stirred my heart, brought the tragedy to home in a different way. I thought about my beautiful two year old nephew, A.J., who I will see this weekend. I also reflected on what it would be like to have someone so young, so close to you be taken from you in one moment. The tragedy of such an event seems unimaginable. I took a picture, a prayer to remember the innocent toddler, a victim of a mass murder, a martyr that keeps us all alive and working to end terrible injustices.

***

A famous Liberation Theologian named John Sobrino, a Jesuit priest from El Salvador, came to the SOA vigil/protest and spoke to us. It was an honor for many of us to here from this very holy person, very real liver of the gospel. Sobrino was fortunate to escape death in El Salvador. Six of his colleagues were not so fortunate, and were part of a 1989 killing at the University of Central America in El Salvador. The Jesuits killed, along with their house keeper and her teenage daughter, became martyrs of a civil war---killed in innocence, killed as non-violent faith filled people. They became Jesus of Nazareth in the moment their lives were taken from them---taken in an incredibly violent manner.

When I was in El Salvador, our group took a tour of the University of Central America. We saw pictures of just what happened to those martyrs. To think that a human being is capable of ending a life over and over again with a gun, to walk away from blood, death, brains on a floor is unfathomable. Those pictures stay in my memory. On the surface, I am so incredibly unattached to those killings---but by visiting the site, by seeing the pictures, by struggling to cope with what my eyes saw in a photo, made me think about just how absolutely devastating it must have been for the people who saw those bodies firsthand---for people like Fr. Sobrino who were among the best of friends with these people.

And Sobrino is able to continue the memory of these people. When he talks about the University martyrs in El Salvador, he is able to bring about a message of hope. It's amazing how a person can bring hope out of so much suffering. Sobrino seems to know the gospel so well, the Passion of Christ, because he experienced a modern day realization of absolute martyrdom. Sobrino said of the martyrs, "from their love, from their justice, from their kindness, we live." We live from the martyrs because they stir our hearts to want to bring about a kingdom of Love and Peace.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Realize that in all the struggles of the world---in those personal struggles that make some of our days so very difficult---in those societal struggles that split our heart, tug at our flesh, at our being, may we come to some sort of message of hope. Without a bit of hope, all will seem lost. But, with even a tiny spark of faith, we can move mountains.

peace and with love,

your friend bob.

Long Haired Dude & Navy Seal

2008-11-19T09:34:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

I hope all is well with you on this Hump day, the Wednesday before the Thursday before the Thursday that is Thanksgiving here in the United States. (That makes Thanksgiving sound like it is far off in the distance, sorry if that does anything to your turkey anticipations). As for me, I'm doing fine...I tried my best to clean my room this morning. At some point before the Holidays, I hope I find the ambition to donate some of the many books scattered all about my little 12 X 12 foot (roughly speaking) abode. Books, like music, are something I collect and collect to no end at times.

*Reflection*

I opened my Runners World magazine to a few articles about people who are using running to do some pretty amazing things, and I'd like to share with you a little about these people. The first person I read about, David Goggins, is a 33 year old Navy Seal who runs 15 - 20 miles every morning before breakfast and bikes 50 miles a day in commute to his job. For starters, that's sick. But that's not even the half of Goggins story. The man runs races–––intense, body aching races–––for charity. In three years, he has raised $200,000 for a fund that grants full college tuition to children of whose Special Ops parents were killed while serving the country. His races include 150 milers, Ultramarathons (a 48 hour run!), and the death-defying race through the Death Valley (135 miles of running in that desert heat). Goggins says when he crosses the finish line, he is thinking about what he is going to do tomorrow. "It's as if my journey is everlasting and there is no finish line." What a way to ponder our existence here in this world. In some way, our journey is everlasting, never ending. To draw from my Christian tradition, after death, we hope for an eternal peace filled with love, in a word, heaven. Goggins passion for running, his commitment to it and to people is a great metaphor for anyone seeking to dedicate themselves to a cause or to a particular way of life. There is no finish line and the journey is everlasting.

The other person I read about isn't a Navy Seal. He's actually a long haired dude, a vegetarian running coach from New York city. After visiting Kenya in 1995, he was inspired to give his time and effort to contributing to some of the poverty he witnessed on the continent of Africa. At first, he started Shoe4Africa, because, during his first visit, he found himself giving running shoes away to the point of where he returned home barefoot.

The long haired dude, Toby Tanser, felt compelled to do something different for people in Kenya after witnessing the aftermath of the December 2007 elections that left many cities ravaged. He tells a story, in Runners World magazine, of a woman who told him that she witnessed her own baby burn to death, an innocent victim of the politically-induced violence of last year. A church in this same village, Kiambaa, had been burned down with 35 people inside of it. Hearing about these terrible tragedies understandably struck a deep chord in the soul of Tanser. "What the hell am i doing donating shoes?" he asked himself. He decided to do more, starting a "peace run."

Interestingly, I had just posted about a peace run I was a part of last Sunday here in Chicago. Tanser's peace run struck a deep chord inside my own soul, and that's why I felt compelled to write about this long haired dude.

His next hope is to build a $15 million children's hospital in a Kenyan town. It would be the largest of its kind on the continent of Africa. I pray that his vision becomes a success. Tanser, along with David Goggins the Navy Seal, are doing things with their talents that might inspire all of us to look at ourselves and ask what can we do to spread love, spread peace.

It reminds me of a parable Jesus talks about in the gospel of Luke. He tells of three servants who were each given a coin. The king told the servants to engage in trade with the coins. Of the three servants, two of them were able to turn a profit from the original coin. The first returns bearing 10 coins, the second bearing five. The king seems happy that both of the servants were able to do such with what had been given to them. However, the third servant took a different path. This servant, stored the coin away in fear of the king. The servant seems to be frightened that the one coin will be lost in trade. The king is angered, takes the coin from the servant, and gives it to the first servant who had turned his one coin into ten coins. "To everyone who has, more will be given," says the king. (taken from Luke 19 : 11-28).

Goggins and Tanser might be comparable in ways to these two servants. They are both taking different paths to provide more with what they have been given (the talent to run and the desire to help others). They have done a wonderful job of fostering and developing their gifts. But the third servant might be someone who is frightened to use some of the talents they have to help, in whatever way possible, the world around them. I am guilty of this. I'll be the first to admit that for fear of rejection, for fear of standing out on a limb, I often find myself caught between "I should and I'm scared to." Maybe, you sometimes find yourself playing this game of limbo too often. I hope that all of us, in small ways, will have the courage to step outside of our fears, to step outside of ourself, and to give back to a community, to a world that needs us. To work together will bring us together and will bring us to the task of working for peace on this everlasting journey.

peace friends.

with love,

your friend bob.

O Come O Come Immanuel!

2008-11-17T09:30:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

Rise and shine---it's dang near winter weather time! Yesterday night those of us residing in Chicago had one of our first glimpses of snowfall this year...more to come, I'm sure!

Hope all is well with all of you. Hope this post finds you looking forward to spending time with friends and family over the coming Turkey holiday. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your loved ones, wherever you may be.

*Reflection*

Yesterday morning, I dragged myself out of bed at 7:30 am to go for a run. Why? Well, a friend of mine had invited me to run a race sponsored by a local restaurant called the "Heartland Cafe." The place sells scrumptious food and also sort of doubles as an activist, trendy place. The run was for an organization called Athletes United for Peace, or something along those lines. It made sense to me: run for peace. I like to run and I like peace. But do I like to run 8 am on a 32 degree morning? Well...I'm flexible I guess.

Anyways, two friends and I waddled our way out to the cafe, bracing the lakefront winds, to register for the race. When we got there, the crowd seemed to be a decent size; 30 to 40 people waiting to run. After I filled my form out, I went to a large jug of what I think is water and filled a cup. Steaming hot Joe poured out of the jug...that's ok, I thought to myself. A nice little perk before running 5 km.

I figured the only two people I would know running the race would be my friends Laura and Monica. However, I was mistaken. Running the race were two little friends of mine from last year, from a local grade school called Northside Catholic Academy. I had tutored at their school and was really surprised and excited to see them. It was amazing to see that 11 year old Sergio was going to be running a 5 km race. When I was 11, a chubby, video game & TV watching chap, I would have shrieked at the idea of running for that long. But this little guy was for real...way to go Sergio!

There was someone else I saw yesterday. Last year, he was a person I would run into (quite literally) on the Loyola track. His name is Immanuel. Though I had forgotten his name (I am terrible at remembering names and had to ask him to remind me yesterday what his was), I vividly remembered his soothing Spirit, his welcoming Smokey Robinson-esque face and smile, and his overall love of running and life.
I remember Immanuel came up to me one day while I was doing a track workout and told me I was a pretty good runner. It was totally unexpected but so very appreciated. This compliment came from a middle aged dude in tip top shape who runs a pace that would make most of us runners look like Santa Claus trying to run a marathon after eating one too many of Mrs. Claus's cookies. That is to say, Immanuel is quite a runner. So, to have him give me a compliment really boosted my Spirit. And seeing him periodically on the track, maybe once a week or once every couple weeks, reminded me that there are other people who share in the joy of running. Even more importantly, he reminded me that there are people in this world who seek to spread joy in whatever way they can, to whomever is present to receive that joy. I was the fortunate recipient Immanuel's encouragement and captivating personality... When I saw Immanuel yesterday, in some small way, my Spirit leaped for joy, to see a kind person who had brightened up several of my days.

When I told Immanuel I ran the Chicago Marathon, his face beamed and he gave me a truly heartfelt congratulations. He said the last marathon he ran was the Boston Marathon---that's quite impressive indeed. Boston requires racers to qualify with a certain time during a previous race. I told him that I would really like to run the Boston Marathon someday, but I would have to cut my time by some 30 minutes for my particular age group. Without hesitation, Immanuel told me I could do it. With some more training, he was confident I could one day be there.

It is that kind of optimism that we need more of in this world. With more people like Immanuel to be examples of how light can be spread, we might just light our world up with something more than artificial brightness this holiday season.

O Come, O Come Immanuel!

peace and blessings~

with love,

your friend bob : )

There is a Kingdom Here

2008-11-13T09:24:00.003-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Hope this post finds you enjoying your Thursday morning. After breakfast and a cup of coffee, I'm feeling pretty solid. (I'm trying to not think too much about impending research papers, term papers that need to be completed in the coming days---one of those days being tomorrow! It's only a rough draft...it will be rough).

Reflection:

This morning while sitting in the chapel here at my seminary college, I was reading a short reflection from a website www.staygreat.com. The content, written by Mark Link, a Jesuit author and priest, challenges readers in a very practical and simple manner to ponder a line or two from one of the Gospels. Link will generally quote a short passage and then offer a one or two paragraph reflection or story that in one way or another relates to the gospel reading. He will then ask a question and follow the question with a sort of universal truth or some kind of tidbit of wisdom. It is this latter section I want to talk a little bit about. Today, the passage Link had readers reflect on was from Luke's Gospel:

The coming of the kingdom of God cannot be observed..."The kingdom of God is among you." (Luke 17:20-21)

These were the words of wisdom Link wanted readers to think about after the end of the reflection:

"The greatest treasure isn't far, far away; it is closer to you than your own breath."

This got me thinking a little. In my opinion, its a very beautiful thing to ponder. Often times we think that the treasure or the life we are looking for is miles and miles away, way outside of where we are now. But these words will have us think otherwise.

God dwells within us AND all around us. God is, to quote the late great George Harrison, "within you and without you." The kingdom is an intimate, human, breathing treasure. And in that sense, since the kingdom of God sustains our life, it is closer to us than our own breath. The kingdom of God can give meaning to our breath, meaning to our every action, meaning to all of our loves, meaning to all of our moments. Recognizing that the kingdom of God really isn't some distant Shangri-La, but part of an inner peace can bring us among other people in a most intimate and real way. "The kingdom of God is AMONG you." We need not fear those trials we will inevitably face if we can somehow believe in this message.

Jesus tells us that we can't passively observe the coming of a kingdom. We must fully partake in the joys and sufferings inherent in the life of a human person. It is in understanding and contemplating our humanity that we are most intimate with a God who loves us more than we can imagine. The kingdom of God is at hand, dwelling among each and every one of us.

peace friends!

with love,

your friend bob.

Dedication of the Lateran Basilica

2008-11-10T08:26:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Burr...it's cold this morning! I heard this morning on a political talk show, during a weather segment, that the wind chill in Atlanta was 28 degrees. WOW. The only suggestion I have is to look at this in a positive light, as an ushering in of the coming Holiday season. Winter isn't so bad until after Christmas and New Year's...so let's think about how wonderful December can be! (We'll deal with January when it comes...and who knows, maybe you find January to be one of the most enjoyable months of the year.)

Anyways...onto a short Monday reflection.

Yesterday, the Roman Catholic Church celebrated the "Dedication of Saint John Lateran." Up until yesterday, I would have no clue what that meant. What it is, for those of you who, like myself, would not know the meaning of such a dedication, is a feast day that celebrates the building of the Lateran Basilica erected by Emperor Constantine way back in 324 A.D. Constantine...that's right...the dude who legalized Christianity in the Roman Empire. The church is considered the "mother church of Christendom." So what? That's what my response would be. It's just a building.

Some will say that that building allows people to worship God, to show love for the Creator, to show love to Jesus Christ through prayer and liturgy. Moreover, others might say that the building shows Christianity transforming from the early house churches to a widely public display of religion. A priest gave a homily yesterday that brought up an interesting point. He said that sometimes he feels that the church might have been better off by staying more underground. Obviously, we can't turn the clock back and change the course of history. By the Roman Empire accepting Christianity, the world officially became exposed to the message of Jesus Christ. However, that message was twisted and altered at times, for people to get what they wanted, not what God might have wanted. Wars, crusades, killing. All in the name of Jesus Christ. It was hypocritical and the absolute antithesis of the gospel Christ brought to the world.

And yet, the building was built to worship, to love God. The building was an attempt for people to build a holy place, a holy ground. Maybe the church would have been more peaceful, more true historically to the teachings of Christ if it had stayed underground. But it didn't. And now, it is our job, if we are Christians, to show the world that, though the church is obviously grounded in this world, it can still have underground tendencies at the grassroots level. That is, we can show people that the gospel doesn't require large flashy basilicas or extravagant dress or loud organs or well-trained choirs or large institutions. These things don't run counter to the gospel, they can work with the gospel...if they are always true to the gospel.

gospel with a small "g"...I'm referring to spreading peace, love, being understanding of others. Showing your neighbor that Christ or God comes down to a person to person relationship. Basilicas, churches, places of worship are good...if and only if they bring people closer to God and to each other, and if and only if they help people to leave the building and spread Good News.

peace and with love,

your friend bob : )

PS - try not to freeze today! Drink plenty of hot chocolate, hot tea, coffee~

A Historical Day, A Day to Pray

2008-11-05T11:32:00.002-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

Last night, at 10 pm central time, on the dot, CNN announced the next presidential elect. "Zips Lounge" a student lounge in the student union building at Loyola University Chicago, erupted with cheers from nearly every student watching the big screen. A change was not just a possibility; it became a reality.

Along with fellow students, I embraced the moment. Politics are exciting, dream-developing, hope-inducing. Politicians often give people reasons to believe in something. My hope, after the dust settles and Barack Obama is officially sworn is as the 44th President of the United States of America, that his message is made manifest. I think it's crucial for all of us living in the U.S., putting stake in the people here, to be critical of Obama. We supported Barack because we saw in him a person who has the potential to fuel this country forward. Now we need to make sure that we help the cause and we fight for the cause. We have to make sure that we practice what we preach, in a sense---at least try as best as we can. Likewise, we need to hold our politicans accountable to the same standards. If we look up to the office of the president, then we need to expect that person to carry out the role to the best of his or her ability.

A few hours before finding out Obama had been elected, I was sitting at a computer in the library on campus. As I glanced to my left, staring off into space waiting for the slow computer to boot (those library computers know how to take their time and test students' patience), two posters caught my eye. I had seen them before, but tonight of all nights they seemed especially fitting. On the left hung a poster of Malcom X delivering a speech, looking full of passion and fire. On the right of Malcom X hung a poster of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., delivering a speech in a serious, but soothing face. These two men, of course, are remembered as two of the most prominent African-American leaders to ever have lived. But the content of their character is why we really honor and remember them. Both of these men not only preached change but delivered change. Both of these people were willing to stand up for what they believed, stand up for the oppressed, and bring about a more perfect, more civil, more just society. They were history-in-the-making in their actions and in their living.

Wherever we stand on the political spectrum, it would be hard not to grasp the history-in-the-making of a Barack Obama as the next president. Less than 150 years ago, there were African-Americans in the United States that suffered through the most oppressive institution of slavery. Now, we are part of a country who has just elected a black man to be the next president of the United States. Virginia, a state that fought for the Confederacy during the civil war, chose to elect Barack Obama. Chris Matthews, a journalist for MSNBC, couldn't help but show his enthusiasm last night for a country that seems to finally be able to look past the color of a person's skin. He was amazed and overjoyed to think of how far his country has come in his lifetime.

My prayer for Barack Obama is that he strives to challenge this country and to serve this country and especially the greater world community with a Spirit that comes from the Highest Good we can imagine---that he may be a voice of change in this world, a positive voice of change. We need to follow the hope of Dr. Martin Luther King and really judge Obama on the content of his character. In time, we will see what the policies of President Barack Obama will bring our country.

He has inherited one of the most difficult jobs in this world---the most difficult persona, arguably, currently in existence. Since the United States is a world power, the leader of this country is a world power figure. May the power Obama inherits be aimed at helping those with less, allowing all of our brothers and sisters to prosper. May Obama keep his vision, but understand more fully what it actually means to govern at a day-to-day level. However you voted, it is important to try and put yourself behind Obama.

It is going to take a united country to support the next president. I hope that, divided as we sometimes are, this nation will come together to give Barack a chance. In doing so, we might proclaim to the world community we are a country united to strive for goodness. May we be humble. May all of us be a group of people who want to love and serve, seeking, at times, nothing more than a smile or a handshake in return.

I am excited as a young person. I am excited as a citizen of the United States. I am excited as a person who believes in God, in Love. I am excited as a person who desperately wants to believe in the Goodness of Humankind.

Realistically, Barack Obama can't solve all of this nation's problems. Realistically, Barack Obama is going to do things, say things I won't agree with. I hope I---along with others---have the courage to stand up for beliefs. And I hope I have the resolve to accept the fact that the leader of the United States is a human being with human faults. It is in this realization that I think we can start to finally build on what Barack has promised. We can't do it all by ourselves. But, joining in community, a community of believers, we can do great things.

My prayer is for Barack Obama today and for his wife and two daughters. My prayer is also for John McCain today. Both of them helped to make this country excited about politics and excited about change. The next four years will be a change. May it be a change for the better---a moving forward and a greater realization that in our common struggle we find hope and we find an unmovable Love.

peace and with love,

your friend bob spoerl.

How can we feed the hungry? - Part One: Martin de Porres

2008-11-03T08:05:00.005-06:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

We really are fortunate to have the weather we have today. It's unseasonably warm...and sunny! I suppose the weather wouldn't suit a vampire from Transylvania very well, but I'm assuming it's highly unlikely that among the Network of Love Lovers we have vampires from that area. If we do, then I apologize; I don't mean to offend, just to say that from my viewpoint, the weather couldn't be any better today. Thank God!

Reflection:

This week, a number of groups on the campus of Loyola University here in Chicago unite to bring awareness to a worldwide struggle: hunger. November 2 - November 8 marks the annual "Hunger Week," at my school. We begin the week running by fasting (Though it would be really difficult to begin fasting with a run). Today, nearly 200 students at Loyola University Chicago have committed to fasting for nearly 12 hours, abstaining from both food and drink to remember the millions around the world who go without today. Known as the "Fast-a-Thon," and sponsored by Loyola Muslim Students' Association, the event is a time to feel hunger and fight hunger."

I signed a student pledge form that binds me to this fast. It was interesting to sign for a fast, and it made me seriously feel committed to the cause. For every student pledging to forgo food this day, a local business is donating food/supplies to our cause. The money we would be spending on food is instead being donated in our name to provide food for those who don't choose to fast. It is a rewarding trade-off.

The saint honored by the Catholic Church today is one that I actually recognize fairly well, and is one who was known to do his fair share of fasting. His name is Martin de Porres, and he lived in Lima, Peru in the late 1500s, early 1600s. His father was a Spanish knight, his mother a freed woman from Panama. Martin was accepted as a brother in a religious order known as the Dominicans. Martin worked with the sick his whole life, caring for them with what his peers would refer to as an endless patience. He would establish a hospital for sick children in his hometown and would also provide food for African slaves in Lima.

St. Martin de Porres holds a unique place in my heart because of his incredible love and service for the most poor and needy of his time and his work with children. I also find him to be a hero because he broke racial boundaries. He is remembered as a patron of social justice and a patron saint for African-Americans. Here is a link to a newspaper from today that gives a little more detailed blurb about Martin:

http://www.mb.com.ph/OPED20|081103139730.html

I see a saint like Martin de Porres as a figure who could appeal to anyone, regardless of religious affiliation, seeking to bring social justice to society-at-small and society-at-large. It is interesting to note that, though he dreamed of being a missionary, Martin never left Lima. With all his work focused in one place, he was able to bring health care, food, healing to those in his city. His concentrated ministry can teach us all a thing or two about really putting stake in the place we are. As good as it is to give to organizations and to people all over the world, it is just as good to look to assist those in need in our own backyard.

How can we feed the hungry? How can I feed the hungry? I invite you to, along with me, reflect on this as you journey with me during our Hunger Week.

Blessings to all of you and I wish you a less-than manic Monday...How about a Miraculous Monday? Or at the very least a Middle-of-the-road Monday.

Peace~

with love,

your friend bob.

Trick or Treat - Perception, Knowledge, Discernment

2008-10-31T08:55:00.003-05:00

Greetings Fellow Network of Love Lovers,

BOO! ha, it's Halloween, it's Friday, and it's unseasonably warm outside. What more could you ask for?

This morning as I was going to retrieve laundry from the dryer, I unconsciously brought my cup of coffee from breakfast. I have this coffee cup that says "Loyola University Chicago" (it looks really classy, especially for a 20 year old guy to be carrying around). Anyways, as I get to the laundry room and gather all the fresh, clean laundry into my laundry basket, I realize that the walk back through a hallway and upstairs carrying a coffee cup and a giant laundry basket is going to be more difficult than I imagined. I guess I never even imagined having to partake in such a balancing act.

Thankfully, with the concentration of an acrobat in a Ringling Brothers Circus show, I managed to make the journey without spilling coffee on my just-washed clothes. That's not to say there wasn't one really, really close call! For a split second, as the coffee cup tilted in my left hand, I pictured my clothes all turning an intense shade of coffee-black. But the balancing act worked, and my clothes remained in the original color. AMEN!

***

My reflection today has to do with a reading from Paul's letter to the Philippians. It comes from the beginning chapter of that letter. In particular, I want to focus on a line that really caught my eye as I was reading it this morning.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception, to discern what is of value." (Phil 1: 9, 10)

Paul writes to the Philippians while he is in exile at a prison and facing the possibility of being executed. Despite the fact that he faces these adverse, hostile circumstances (to say the least), Paul continues to pray for the Christian community in Philippi. It is the place where he helped establish the first community of its kind in all of Europe and he seems to keep a special place in his heart for these people.
I could probably write about how much of a statement Paul is making when he decides to turn away from his own personal struggle to pray for the people living outside of the prison walls he is trapped in. That seems like an unconditional act of love, an act that brings greater glory, greater good to society. But rather than focus on the personal life of Paul during the time of this letter's distribution, I would prefer to talk briefly about three ways he hopes love will increase among the people he is praying for; in knowledge, in perception, and in discernment.

I'd like to think of these three values (I can't think of a really unique or proper term to accurately categorize knowledge, perception, and discernment), as working in union but also having a bit of a structure or–––dare I use this word–––"hierarchy" system when working together. I say they work together because, for instance, when we gain knowledge we are perceiving something. Moreover, when we perceive something, we inevitably will turn what we perceive into some kind of form of discernment–––whether it be perceiving what options are on a menu at a restaurant and then discerning, from all the options, which meal will satisfy our hunger.

But in trying to unfold how these three values which seem to bring us closer to love–––closer to God–––we can see some kind of structure forming. That is, in some cases, one of the terms must come before the other so that we may more clearly enter another stage that will bring us closer to love. Let me try to make sense of this. I would say that, in a very general way, we might make this order of the three values: 1. Perception 2. Knowledge 3. Discernment. In establishing this order, I mean to say that we first perceive things–––we observe what we say in nature or in our day to day, we realize we are attracted to another person or a group of people, etc. Second, we grow in knowledge about what we have observed or perceived. For instance, we date a person to better learn about that particular person. We go to school to learn and see if we want to continue on the path of what we are going to school for. This is where the third value, discernment comes into play. Our perceptions and the knowledge we obtain from what we perceive seem to bring us to a state of discernment. Knowledge can only take us so far; we have to discern what it is we want to do with that knowledge.

Paul's prayer for the community at Philippi is that they all use what they find out within these three values to establish further connections with each other and with God. He desires that his Christian sisters and brothers in Philippi come to realize that it is through love and only through love that they will understand why they are perceiving what they perceive and how the knowledge they come to can best be spread throughout their society. It is through discernment that they can go about making such choices that will bring them closer to the love they seek–––to the love Paul seeks for each and every one of them.

It's kind of neat to think that Paul, in some way, wishes the same for each and every one of us. I think anyone that really seeks what is best for his or her sisters and brothers will want each and every one of them to grow more in love with the people and places around them.

That would be my prayer for each and every one of you who have taken the time to read this Network of Love. May you love and be loved more fully. I ask you to pray in the same way for me; that perception, knowledge and discernment will lead you and me to do things for people that will allow all of us to love and be loved.

peace~

with love,

your friend bob.

Barkley on Obama

2008-10-28T08:53:00.003-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

Cheers to you on this sunny but cool late October morning. From my bedroom window, I can see autumn in all its beauty. When I walk out to class in an hour, I'll feel love in all its...ahh...beauty. It's beautiful until it gets really really cold. Then, we have to focus our attention on the other beauties of the season, the kind that don't revolve around the feeling of the weather. Ahh...you sorta maybe get what I am trying to say.

Anyways, I thought I would share a quote from Charles Barkley. He was a basketball player in the 1980s and 1990s and since retirement has been an announcer on TNT. He is a very vocal person and as of late as gotten involved in politics. Campbell Brown, CNN correspondent, sat down with Barkley to interview the man and talk about his decision to run for governor of Alabama, his home state. Brown talked a little bit about race in the upcoming election. Barkley, an African-American man, said something that really struck me as profound and thoughtful in regards to what an Obama presidency would mean for young African-American students.

"I see him as a great role model 'cause we got to get more black kids educated. And you know we have this terrible thing going on in the black community about if a black kid does well in school we make fun of him. We've got to get more black kids getting their education, carrying themselves with great dignity, and self esteem. I've always looked at this as bigger picture."

-Charles Barkley, from cnnpolitics.com

In one week, we will go to the polls to vote for the next president of the United States of America. We are casting a vote for the present, but also for the future. Who knows what positive influence the next president may have on the children of our country. Role models keep kids motivated, keep all of us motivated.

When you go to the polls, I ask that you seriously reflect on the young people in our nation. Which candidate will drive them toward success? Which candidate will motivate them to do things for our country, for our world, that will move us forward to a kingdom of Love?

peace~

with love,

your friend bob.

Little Leaves

2008-10-23T09:13:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

It's Thursday, the grind of the week is more than halfway over. I don't know about you, but this week has been all about waking up and entering the grind, falling asleep cozy enough, and then waking up to enter the grind again. I've been busy, which isn't to say bad. I've just been incredibly busy. I hope all of you, especially if, like me, you find yourself loaded with work and whatnots, find the time to take a minute and enjoy something that will completely take your mind off of any of the stresses of life.

Yesterday, despite having to crank out a philosophy paper on Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas (yawn), I found one particular moment where stress simply fell away. The stress left me somehow in the form of a plain dark red, brownish leaf lying innocently near the sidewalk. I was walking down Sheridan, the busiest of roads near my campus here in Chicago, and, winds of the city hitting my body, I swiveled my head to the right and down, only to notice the multitude of leaves scattered all along the ground. I know leaves are falling...it's October, Autumn. But rarely, rarely, have I had the time to actually sit and observe the fallen leaves. This was only the second time of this season I can consciously recall actually making a mental note of the leaves. The texture, the shape, the color of the leaves. Some of the leaves had stems, some of the stems were long, some short. Some of the leaves looked fresh, just fallen. Other leaves seemed more prehistoric, as if they had been let go a month ago and were still milling about, waiting for someone to pick them up, or waiting to be carried to their next destination.

I decided to give one of the leaves a home. I picked up one of the leaves, the plain dark red, brownish leaf that temporarily relieved stress. I had just bought a belated birthday card for a good friend of mine, and I thought the leaf would fit perfectly into the card I had purchased. Sometimes the little things relieve our stress, soothe our inner being. Maybe, as my card finds its way to my friend, the leaf might help relieve, in some small way, any of the stress I know she feels.

Let the stress fall away, fall, fall like a new-fallen leaf, happy in Autumn, but hopeful for May.

peace friends.

with love,

your friend bob.

All Things Must Pass (But that can be a positive thing!)

2008-10-19T15:52:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

This post comes to you on a Sunday afternoon. I finally have enough free time to crunch the keys a little and post a small reflection on the Network. Hope all is well with all of my friends. Hope all gets better in time as you continue on whatever you are doing. (That's vague I know, but if I am specific, then someone might feel like I am not writing this blog to them). To be more specific, I guess, I hope your Monday morning finds you rested up and ready to tackle a brand new week of learning, loving, listening, paying bills, stressing out, and loving. (Notice I tried to sandwich the not-so-good stuff in between the stuff we look forward to).

Ok, so this reflection has to do with my internship at a community center near the Loyola University Chicago campus, the university I attend. I tutor children at Centro Romer as part of my community service requirement at St. Joe's College Seminary as well as part of an internship program in collaboration with the English Department. I keep a journal (or try to keep a journal) for the program to help fulfill the internship credit I will receive for completing a year of tutoring with Centro Romero. Background done...onto the reflection...

I feel as if my relationships with the children are growing. Last week, I was able to help one student, Angel, finish most of his math assignment. He seemed to be strong at times in some of the concepts, but at other times I was surprised that he didn’t know a particular concept. For instance, he still has trouble with adding negative numbers together. To his credit, he seemed to grasp it more as we went on in the assignment. The old adage practice makes perfect could apply in that particular situation.

I received an e-mail about a week ago from my site supervisor at Centro. Azalea is a recent graduate from DePaul University who has been at Centro Romero for over three years I believe. Actually, she started first as a volunteer during her undergraduate studies, and then accepted a paid position on the Centro staff. As the assistant of the tutoring program, she deals primarily with the middle school students (ages 11 – 14 approx). Azalea was the person I first contacted when I was interested in doing volunteer work at Centro Romero. She was very welcoming and strong spirited, and, after seeing the way she interacted with the kids during my very first volunteer session, I could tell her heart was in the right place. She loved working with the students at Centro Romero and she still does. Witnessing her helped solidify for myself I was in the right place.

But all things must pass (I mean this in the most positive of ways). Azalea has accepted a job offer that will allow her to continue school and will allow her, in time, to achieve her goal of obtaining a doctorate. Good for her, I say! I sent her an e-mail telling her that I was grateful for what she did to help me start my internship at Centro Romero and wished her luck in any future endeavors. It is neat to watch as other people’s journeys unfold. Azalea seems to be moving from one good to another as she pursues dreams and looks forward to continuing to solve some of the problems that plague our society. She is interested in doing research in Psychology that focuses on Community and Social Psychology. It seems like a practical approach to the field of psychology, an area that will allow her to positively impact the community at large, as well as individuals struggling within those communities. I pray that she continues to glow as she works towards becoming Dr. Azalea. She is an example of a person who has touched my life in a small but meaningful way. Her dedication to the children at Centro Romero is a model for all of us who desire to love the people we find along our path in this life.

peace and blessings friends,

with love,

your friend bob.

Chicago Marathon!

2008-10-13T08:47:00.004-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers,

Yesterday I completed the Chicago Marathon! I am very proud of that accomplishment and after many prayers, hard work, and support from friends and family, I can say that I did something I never thought I would ever do. In all honesty, I'm excited for the next marathon I run. My final time was about 3 hours and 43 minutes, which puts me only 1 hour and 37 minutes behind the Kenyan runner who won the race. Haha. Well, the headband I wore during the race says "in my DREAMS I am a Kenyan." So, in my dreams, I was running stride for stride with Evans Cheruiyot, the winner of the marathon.

But in all seriousness, the race was an incredible experience that opened my eyes to the diversity of people who run and the determination each and every runner came to the race with. There were us young folk running, there were middle age persons (one woman from Grand Rapids who I met before the race had given birth eight months ago. Here she was, trim and ready to run a full marathon! Wow. Determination, resilience, will.

We all ran for a purpose. Some of us wanted to say we could do it, never thought we would. Some of us were running for charity, myself included. Some of us were running for family and friends who had supported our running for years. Some of us ran because we enjoy the crisp feeling of the wind hitting our face, the sun shining down on us, our feet moving freely, our mouth smiling, our spirit content with not a care in the world. Anxieties become unacceptable thoughts as a runner plunges ahead to mile 16, 17, 18. What gets us through the race is the support of people we cherish: friends, family, companions. I remember the crowd from yesterday. They pushed me to the end. I remember thinking about people close to me and they helped pushed me to the finish. I remember thinking about my Creator, the beauty that can be found in tender moments in this life. That pushed me to the edge, a runner's edge, an end that is an accomplishment.

I am grateful for all who supported me. I thank God for being able to run, it has been and I hope will continue to be one of the lasting joys of my life.

God, help us all run fearlessly into the finish line, into the arms of our loved ones, into the arms of a world that needs assistance, light and hope. Help us realize the difficulties of the race, but help us pursue the end of that race, PEACE, JOY and Love for all sisters and brothers.

Peace and Amen.

with love to all my friends,

your friend bob.

Blogging on Megabus - Part Two of France Trip

2008-10-07T09:45:00.002-05:00

Greetings fellow Network of Love Lovers!

This might be one of the coolest things I've ever done–––I'm typing and posting my blog while using a Wi-Fi connection on a Megabus ride to Chicago! I had no idea there was wireless internet on this bus until I pulled out my lap top and my computer kindly asked me if I would like to sign onto the Megabus wireless network. WOW! This probably won't sound nearly as interesting to someone actually reading the blog...but oh well. It's sometimes the little things in life, right?

I'd like to continue my reflection of an experience I had while in Lourdes, France as a chaperon and pilgrim to a place of faith.

Part Two of "The Tender Moments:"

Being, walking, partaking in the culture of Lourdes was no doubt a journey, a spiritual marathon of sorts. It was sometimes long, sometimes painful and often tiring. As the director of the pilgrimage Wayne Watts, a priest of the Archdiocese of Chicago, warned us before we left Chicago for Lourdes, “this will be a pilgrimage, not a vacation.” He was right. Four to five hours of sleep was standard protocol, six hours of sleep felt like heaven on earth. We prayed as a group frequently and were almost always together even outside of required events. I would often wander from the group only to be pulled back in by our leader. On several occasions Watts had to remind me to “stay in the group!” I guess I sometimes like meeting new people a little too much for my own good. His poignant insistence that I stay with Chicago seemed to keep me in line, for the most part.

When we worked, we worked. It wasn’t so much the physicality of the labor, though pushing wheelchairs and chariots carrying disabled persons (referred to as malades in Lourdes) got tiring. I think what affected me the most, however, along with many of the other youth pilgrims, was the emotional labor of each day. Most of the people we escorted around Lourdes were struggling, in one way or another, to cope with the state they found their bodies in. If those with the actual ailments weren’t struggling, us young able-bodied persons struggled with the thought of being physically or mentally disabled.

There was one couple I grew especially close to in the week we had at Lourdes. I found it so moving to work with and simply be with these two people, and I think they serve as a great example of how tender moments can be joyful, painful, and everything in between. Through their own struggles, I was forced to face my own inner turmoil, and I grew to accept and appreciate our common struggle and our common need for communal forgiveness and communal love. I realized that Lourdes is a place where faithful come to realize that there is hope beyond their fears. It is funny to note that Rolheiser’s collection of essays, the one where I found the Tender Moments, is called Learning to Love Beyond Our Fears. Not only is their hope in Lourdes, there is much love to be had and enjoyed by all. However, to feel this love, one must put an amount of trust in faith and community that is not easy. Even in Lourdes, it is a struggle to fully commit one’s self to the tender moment.

I came to know Judy and Don, the couple who most touched my heart in Lourdes, by way of serving as their escort to the healing baths of Lourdes. Father Wayne Watts had asked me to go with a married couple from the Chicago Archdiocese who desired to bathe in the waters that so many pilgrims to Lourdes put their faith and hope in. When he explained the situation of the couple to me, I was a bit taken aback. The wife had multiple sclerosis and the husband was experiencing the initial symptoms of Alzheimer’s. Having a mother who had worked with Alzheimer’s patients for many years of her nursing career, I was familiar with the strain the disease puts on family and friends of those stricken with it. I did not fully know what to expect when I met Don, but I was a bit nervous to be the escort for these two. This was going to be an especially important moment in their life–––a tender moment full of joy and pain–––and they were going to be led to the baths by me! I am just a twenty year-old college student, a seminarian who struggles day after day with what his true calling is and how he can best serve people. I was not so worried about having to make sure these two people were physically able to get to the baths, for I had walked the path to that area near the grotto several times before. I believe, in my heart, that what I feared most was helping these people in some capacity spiritually. Though Watts had not said anything about saying a prayer with the couple, or making sure they felt secure and at peace while waiting to feel the healing waters wash their skin, I felt compelled to be in a mental and spiritual state that would allow these people to remain peaceful and calm and hopeful. We all know how the anticipation for a tender moment can be the most tense of moments. I felt like, in some small way, I had to encourage content, hopeful anticipation for the baths for Don and Judy. That meant making small talk that would possibly make me feel uncomfortable and make me face some of my most internalized fears.

Why would I be forced to face my fears you might ask? Well, to begin, it was highly publicized on this trip that I was a college seminarian. In fact, my seminarian identity was what had helped me obtain a spot on the pilgrimage. Through the generosity of Watts, I had been given a hearty scholarship to help pay for my trip to France. In return for the money that came my way, I was to be part chaperone for the high school group going and part presence for the church as a seminarian. The latter end of the deal was what scared me the most. It was, in fact, one of the fears I did not know would have to be faced while in Lourdes.

As my family and close friends know all too well, I consistently struggle with being a Catholic college seminarian. After my first semester last year, I was fairly certain I wanted to leave seminary. But something inside of me yearned for another semester. I am very happy that I chose to stay, for many opportunities came my way and many friendships became stronger as a result of staying in seminary. However, a trip to El Salvador in May, an experience that seemed to change my young life in many, unexplainable ways, seemed to make me, for a variety of reasons, so incredibly uncertain about my future as a seminarian.

This summer, I worked and lived at All Saints Catholic Church on the north side of Milwaukee. The community there helped to foster an environment where I felt like I could bathe in some of the tender moments I was going through as a young person considering a particular vocation. While at All Saints, I was able to struggle, toil with the future of the priesthood, and my own connection with that future. As the seminarian on staff, I was forced to publicly display my intent to be a college seminarian and to test the waters of ministry. I felt comfortable doing that at All Saints because I had a community that I felt comfortable with. Though the question of whether or not I would ever seriously become a priest was something I could not answer this summer, it was a question I was able to face in my mind and invite into my soul. But in Lourdes, I really began to have serious doubts about my immediate future as a college seminarian. One day, I had even begun to plot how I could leave seminary upon my return from Europe. Doubts and fears about plans that were as much as set in stone, that is my continuing as a junior enrolled in St. Joseph’s College Seminary on the campus of Loyola University Chicago, came unexpectedly and seemed to linger with me every day I spent in Lourdes. I was having what my good friend Raphael calls a “vocational crisis.” I didn’t see a realistic future after leaving seminary in my mind, but I felt like I could not return for another year. This is where Judy especially comes into play.

*** To be continued...

peace and have a great Tuesday friends!

with love,

your friend bob.