I had dinner tonight with a truly inspiring friend of mine, a retired priest from the Milwaukee Archdiocese who spent much of his ministerial time serving people in the central city. I showed up at his place 25 minutes late (I'm becoming maybe a bit too laid back regarding time management being on summer break and all). Because of my tardiness, the dinner plans at a local restaurant were scratched (he had things to do later besides wait for me to show up for dinner plans I suppose!). This turned out to be a good thing. Instead of spending money on food cooked for us, we made a makeshift meal of green pea soup, white rice, baby carrots, milk and watermelon chunks for desert. It was a feast that left me feeling full and satisfied, but, even more importantly, the conversation at table helped to strengthen, encourage, and enliven my Spirit. I thank my friend for that. Our dinner and conversation inspired me to get my hands back on the keyboard and type this reflection.
I just wanted to share something I wrote in my journal from my recent trip to El Salvador. I felt a strong attachment to the place and the people this second time around. It was a kind of spiritual high and fulfillment I am very grateful to have experienced. Thus, I feel compelled to share it with you, my friends:
My confession of what is in my heart, put on paper:
May 15, 2009 --- 2 pm
It's not that I don't want to leave...it's that I want to return to El Salvador. I want to continue to learn from El Salvador, my friends here; the community---the PEOPLE.
I want to breathe more breaths here, to spend more time here.
This isn't 'home;' but I feel called to better interpret and learn the way of home from my friends here in El Salvador.
If it is meant to be Lord, I pray that I can return. I will do what I can to make it happen. But it is ultimately in your hands.
***
So I know the above journal entry might sound a bit dramatic or romantic---like I side, it was written at a time when I was definitely feeling a kind of spiritual high. However, I still feel a stirring in my heart to return to the people I was able to see again. And I think part of it is that I feel as if my time in El Salvador is a time for me to try and weed out my material garden that begins to grow when I get so caught up in "me." When I am studying, it is all about me. What do I need to do? How can I get a better grade? How can I get help? Who can help me?
And in my short time in El Salvador, with a group of 10 people from Loyola University, spending time with a community of people from the city of Zaragosa who selflessly cooperate to make daily life a reality, I began to feel purged from some of the greed that stirs within me from time to time.
Upon returning, I realize that that greed does not go away. I am back to plotting for me. What am I going to do next? Where am I going to go next? How will I make it?
But when I am asking these questions, I am trying my best to incorporate the WE I learned from my friends in Zaragosa. When me becomes we, I am a step closer to I AM who AM. WE can discern the whisper of a God who is Love, working in our lives at the very core of our heart.
peace and blessings.
with love,
your friend bob : )
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